Post # 1
So we recently found out that FSIL is pregnant! (yay!) The baby will be 2 months at the wedding. FBIL is the best man. We have a not kids policy, but are allowing the newborn because they are traveling out of state to come and, well he will only be 2 months old!
Here’s my one worry: we have already rented out a farmhouse for immediate family and bridal party to stay at the night before the wedding, and the night of. We figured it would be easier than a hotel because there is more space, it’s closer to the venue, we can have rehearsal dinner there, can get ready there, etc etc. We invited FSIL and FBIL to stay there before we even knew they were pregnant.
In addition to the main farmhouse there is also a renovated barn house with full bathroom, kitchen and 2 BR. We originally were going to have FI and the groomsmen stay here he night before the wedding to separate the bridal parties an give them their own space.
Now I’m worried that if FSIL and FBIL stay in the main house with the baby it will act as a normal newborn and cry throughout the night. I really really don’t want to be woken up the night before my wedding by a screaming baby, and I can guarantee that my family and the bridal party don’t either. I thought when they got pregnant they might want to get their own hotel room to have their own space but instead they confirmed they want to stay at the farmhouse.
My question is, would it be rude of me to have them stay in the renovated barnhouse instead of the main house? Im really afraid of being sleep deprived on my wedding (light sleeper), but I don’t want to come across as rude.
What do you think ?
Post # 3
@hollyberry4: I imagine they would be grateful. That sounds like a very generous offer, not any kind of punishment! Phrase it that way — since they’ll be new parents, you want them to have privacy and a place where they can make themselves at home. Don’t say anything about squalling babies or other people needing sleep (unless it sounds like their balking at the offer of their own place – it might be appropriate to mention it then.)
Post # 4
First, well done for allowing the 2 month old at the wedding. IMO normal “no kids” rules don’t apply to newborns because they’re almost impossible to leave with sitters, and don’t run around.
As a parent, I can understand that a house full of people wouldn’t want to share the house with a 2 month old. I personally wouldn’t be offended, in fact the separate house would be a relief. Perhaps other parents would be offended. But bad luck if it seems rude, you don’t want to be woken at all hours by a baby. I assume you’re paying for the farmhouse so you get to make the rules.
But I’m confused, will the groomsmen be in the barnhouse too? Or will they be in the farmhouse now?
Post # 5
Groomsmen will be in the regular farmhouse if we moved FSIL and FBiL out. There would be one more room out in the barnhouse so not sure who would stay there with them… Maybe An aunt or uncle. Not sure! And also to be clear (not trying to mislead), they will be pitching in for lodging (as will all the guests who stay there) but it’s signficantly cheaper (like $40 instead of over $100 for hotel). Not a requirement to stay there, just an offer for convenience.
Post # 6
@hollyberry4: What about the groom’s parents, since they will be the grandparents of the little one? I can’t imagine anyone else being suitable, either from their own point of view or from the point of view of the baby’s mother. (Picture baby’s mom breastfeeding on the couch in her dressing gown and bed hair). So if the groom’s parents don’t want to sleep there, it might be best to let them have the barnhouse to themselves.
Post # 7
@Paula- thanks for the suggestion. UnfortunAtely FIs dad is a widower but he does have a girlfiens who Is amazing. It may work for them to stay out there with them but id definitely have to talk to them first. We are relying on that second bedroom though for space.
I’m sure it will work out. There are also Some basement rooms. Maybe FBIL and FSIL could stay in one of those and have some of the family stay in the others. Sound shouldn’t travel from the basement, right? How loud is 2 month old?
Post # 8
Can I just say that your wedding sounds like it’s going to be heaps of fun! I want to stay in the farmhouse too!!
I would certainly offer them the barnhouse, it sounds wonderful.
Post # 9
I think it’s great and not rude at all. As parents, they probably would be relieved to know that their child won’t keep anyone else up at night.
Post # 10
How loud is a 2 month old? It’s hard to predict. Sometimes they wake up, make a little noise, and calm down and start drinking as soon as they get the breast (or bottle). But sometimes there is something wrong (with ours it was usually wind or reflux) and they just start screaming…
There’s a fair chance the sound will carry enough to bother you if you’re a light sleeper. On the night before your wedding, I don’t think you want to take a chance.
Of course if you need the space, FI could talk to his brother and insist they stay in a hotel. I don’t think that’s an unreasonable request. He’d be asking his brother to think of the other people, who need a good sleep before the big day.