Weddingbee boards

I agree, not rude at all. It's your day and you should have those around you that you want.

I don't think it would be rude at all, especially if you ask his other sister(s) to be involved in the wedding in another way.  Most people understand that the bridal party is usually made up of people you're really close to... good luck!!

I would be very careful about asking one sister to be a BM and not the others.  My SO's ex-wife asked one sister to be a BM and not the other, and the other sister STILL has not gotten over it.  To the point where she was crying to her mother, worried that I would do the same thing.  She felt very excluded, and very, very crushed by the ex's decision.  I urge you to think about how the other sisters might feel.  No, they don't have close relationships with you, but it doesn't mean that their feelings won't be hurt that they didn't get chosen to participate in the wedding.  Our hearts do have a way of overruling our heads, and although it may make perfect sense as to why you chose the one sister, they may have a hard time seeing it that way.

My BMs are all close friends of mine, and so as to avoid hurt feelings (on both sides) I am not including any family in the BP.  Keeps it easy, and also ensures that I won't have any judgmental eyes at the bachelorette party.  We're going to Vegas...and...um...that's not something I'd want FSILs to be a part of. 

I echo the sentiment that it depends on the family dynamics and that the younger girls may not understand your reasoning.  I think that you don't necessarily need to have all three sisters as BMs, but could you include or acknowledge the other two sisters in some way?  I think that might go over better.

My oldest brother got married around the time I was turning 16.  My brother has one brother and one sister, and my sister-in-law has one brother and one sister.  They both included their siblings of the same gender in the bridal party.  My sister-in-law's brother was an adult and probably understood this, but I didn't, and it hurt my 16-year-old feelings.  Not enough to say anything or spend the wedding upset about it, but I definitely felt a jealous pang.  Her sister was the same age as me, so it wasn't a question of age and I didn't understand it.  Now I do, and it doesn't bother me a bit, but it did nag me for a while.

I agree with most of the other posts, I think it could get very messy. If you and your FMIL are close enough I would call and ask her opinion, chances are she knows best how her daughters would react and knowing her opinion could help as well.

Personally, I don't think it's rude, but then again, like other posters have said, it's pretty dependent on family dynamics.  Do you have any brothers that your FI isn't asking?? That was 1 of our issues.. we're having a big wedding party (7 on each side), and I have 3 brothers, and he has 1 sister.  I was originally including his sister, even though we're not that close, from the start.  When I told my parents who my bridesmaids were, they asked if my FI was asking any of my brothers to be groomsmen.  I said no, because at the time, he wasn't, and they seemed a little surprised & my dad seemed maybe even a little hurt, but let it go & didn't make a big deal about it at all.

My FI kept asking me, "Are you SURE you want to have 7 BMs? That's a lot of money spent on gifts etc..." and I told him I felt that I couldn't cut anyone out of my group.  I had my only sister, his only sister, my best friend from high school, my 2 college roommates who I'm really close to, and my 2 best friends in grad school right now, who are actually here with me to be able to help with stuff if I need it.  I thought about it, and thought if he wanted to cut it down, and he wasn't asking any of my brothers, I could just ask his sister to do a reading at the Mass instead of being a BM, especially since she's not the girly type to be crafty or really be into any of the DIY stuff I'm planning to do.

I asked FI if he thought his sister would be offended if i asked her to do a reading instead..he was kind of taken aback that all of a sudden I might be excluding his sister from the wedding party, but said she probably wouldnt care, but I might want to ask his mom for her opinion since she knows his sister better.  I have a very good relationship with his parents, so I went ahead & asked & his mom seemed very hurt at the idea that I wouldn't ask his sister to be a BM.. "He has but one sister, and of course we'd love to see both kids in the wedding party."  To be honest, it kind of irritated me that she said that, because I was like well, my parents are paying for this, and they'd love to see their other kids in the wedding, too, but my FI's not asking any of them...

Eventually I talked to him, & said I thought it'd be a nice gesture if he included 1 of my brothers, since I was including his sister.  I have 3 brothers, but he only asked the 1 he was closest to, which I think is totally appropriate. And we even have a big wedding party!

I think if you're only having 4 & want to keep it small, and you already have 2 sisters and he has 3, you already can't include all the sisters.  I think you could definitely ask the other sister to do a reading at the ceremony & have the youngest one be in charge of having guests sign the guestbook.  My mom's cousin got married when I was about that age, 13 I think, and I'm pretty close to him, so he wanted to include me in the wedding somehow.. I was WAY excited at 13 at the prospect of getting to do the guestbook & be a part of the wedding.  If you don't know his other 2 sisters that well, I don't think you should feel obligated to ask them!