Post # 1
Both my other half and myself are discussing a second marriage. We’re both in our 30s, have discussed getting married, bought a stone, he knows the setting I’m looking for, we’ve set Nov. 2014 for the wedding and he’s said the proposal is on its way.
Problem? He keeps introducing me as his fiance to people even though there hasn’t been a formal proposal uet (as in: “will you marry me?” NOT the ring). This bothers me, a lot. Thats not what I am since he hasn’t asked and I feel like its his way of circumventing it.
Post # 2
well…it’s better than “this is my friend”. lol
yeah, my first husband, called me his wife before we were engaged too. I actually took it as a complement as he’s proud of me and recognizes me as his wife although i wasn’t “technically” yet but was in his mind.
it’s a good thing. better than him not thinking it. you know the rest is coming soon, just roll with it. and precongrats..i’m a Nov 2014 bride too!
Post # 3
If you have agreed to marry each other, you’re engaged. Congratulations!
Post # 4
You’re engaged since you have agreed to get married, however if it bothers you, I would talk to him about it. He probably doesn’t realize that you want things to be official first.
Post # 5
- Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas
You set a date. How are you not considering yourself “engaged”? I would be happy.
Post # 6
Would you be happier if he introduced you as his girlfriend?
Post # 7
my SO and I call each other husband and wife. I consider his family my in-laws and vis versa. The only time I call him my SO is on the bee.
He he considers you his fiancée, I don’t think he does it to pass over the proposal.
Post # 8
I second PP. Congratulations on your wedding!
Post # 9
Some people get really hung up on having a traditional proposal. The two of you have agreed to get married and have set the date, I would consider you engaged and this would not bother me personally. Maybe he is planning on “proposing” when the ring is ready?
Post # 10
The bother comes more from a religious aspect, we’re both Christians and while the BF/GF relationship is debatable in some Christian circles, ours is more contemporary and acknowledges it. With that being said, engagement/proposal and marriage are very important steps within our faith and aren’t taken lighly. It feels (to me) by him going about it this way shows a disregard for the importance it carries in our faith.
Now, this is a recent happening (him calling me fiance), I’d say in the past 2 weeks or so. So there is certainly an appropriate timeframe to discuss it with him and it not fester, but its more of what do I say without it seeming like I’m being too… touchy?
Post # 11
Hi, yes this would bother me. Simply because he didn’t ask you ,and you didn’t say yes! You need to be engaged for him to call you his fiance. I’m sure he’s thinking of you in those terms which is fantastic, however…what is stopping him from pulling the trigger? If he likes it, he needs to put a ring on it.
Post # 12
You’re engaged when you’ve both agreed that to be true. Everyone has a different idea of engagement, to some it’s the asking, to some it’s the ring being offered, etc. No one can tell you that you’re engaged if you don’t think so yourself.
Post # 14
I’d just tell him. “I’m uncomfortable being introduced as your fiance since you haven’t formally proposed.” I mean is he going to get…mad? I think it’s a pretty valid concern considering your beliefs.
Post # 15
- Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island
I’m surprised you picked a date if he hasn’t proposed yet. That’s probably why he’s referring to you as his fiancee. Why not just talk to him about it? He’s not going to be able to magically read your mind on this one. Tell him it bothers you.
Post # 16
2ndTimeForWe: Yes, that would bother me a little. Have you talked to him about it?
I’m the kind of preson who appreciates clear lines, so I’d prefer that we get officially engaged before he starts telling people I’m his FI. It’s wonderful that he thinks of you that way, but let’s get the order of operations right! 😀 Similarly, my DH and I didn’t refer to eachother as husband or wife until we were married.