- 4 months ago
Hey bees! I’m going anonymous for this post, because part of me thinks it’s silly to be upset about this, but another part of me can’t stop worrying.
DH works in an office with a team of 6 other coworkers. This team has always been pretty close, but any time they hang out after work, it’s always in a group setting, and they’re all usually there. Only a handful of times, one or two of them couldn’t make it.
There are 2 females on this team. DH has never given me any reason to not trust him around these women, or any other woman for that matter. He’s never talked about any of them more than he’d talk about the men on his team, and when he has texting conversations about work stuff or about making plans outside of work, it’s always in a group message.
However, recently, when he does talk about his team, I’ve noticed he’s been calling one of the women by her “nickname” or shortened version of her name. For example, say her name was Samantha. In the past it would always be “Samantha came up with our newest strategy.” Now, when he mentions her, he calls her “Sam”. It just seems so much more personal and it has me concerned.
I did a big “no no” the other day and snooped in his phone when he was in the shower. I haven’t found anything bad. The only correspondence he had with her, or anyone from that team, was in the group texts. Most of it was work stuff and there was something in there about them all going out for lunch one day next week. He also still has “Sam” in there as “Samantha”.
My best friend thinks I’m crazy since there’s no indication of them getting any closer or anything. But one of my biggest concerns is that the other woman who works on their team has a name that can also be shortened, but any time he refers to her, he calls her by her full name and not a “shortened” name.
Im not sure what else to do other than ask him why he suddenly started referring to Samantha as Sam. But I’m afraid that will make me seem like a looney toon. My friend thinks I shouldn’t worry and that I should leave it alone unless there’s evidence of them getting closer or something.
So how do the bees feel? If your DH always referred to a female friend or coworker as her full name and then suddenly started referring to her as her nickname/shorter name? Would it bother you? Would you ask him why the sudden change? Or just leave it alone? Thanks in advance!