(Closed) Would this bother you?

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Ew, I’d be really annoyed by that. It sounds like she is going out of her way to be extra nice to your Fiance. But, really, all that you can do I think is talk to him about being less receptive to her discussions or at the very least not encouraging the behavior by having a chat with her beyond ‘Hey’. You want to be neighborly but you don’t want it to get excessive. I think all you can do is keep making attempts to be nice to her. Neighbors are tricky–you don’t want them on your bad side! Maybe bring some cookies over and say, ‘Hey thanks so much for shoveling our driveway!’ and kill her with kindness?

Even if she is doing it on purpose, you can’t make her stop. She may just get worse if she sees it as a challenge!

Post # 4
1487 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Yes, it WOULD bother me.

We had this happen, a girl paid all sorts of attention to him, and ignored me for no apparent reason.  (this was someone online, btw, not someone we know in real life.) When she started intimating that they had secrets together, it set me off.

Of course they didn’t, and yes, we had an argument or two about it, but ultimately it blew over.  While SHE pissed me off, I had no reason not to trust Fiance, and that’s what it came down to.

Post # 5
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’d be peeved, but I would just laugh it off, label her a huge flirt and move on. Neighbours were built to annoy each other. Our next door neighbour (in her late 40s I believe) gardens in her bikini when she sees Fiance and his friends doing projects in our yard. More power to her, but heck, Fiance comes home to me every night, he’s not banging on her door that’s for sure!

Post # 6
3285 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

Ugh, yeah that would bother me!  And of course your FH doesn’t see it – he’s a guy!

Post # 8
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Something about a man being unavailable makes them the most attractive man on the face of the earth to some women. She must be one of those. She sounds a bit shameless. Just realize you’re the bigger person in the neighbourhood.

Post # 9
323 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’d be pretty pissed off.  You Mr is like most- they dont see these things.

I like what ejs4y8 said, kill her with kindness.  I think Id be in her face with all kinds of baked goods and recipes and ‘oh I made a little extra dinner tonight, thought Id bring some buy’.

How old is her son? Is she maybe getting paid by these men?  Is that what we’re talking about?


But again, like mentioned if she smells a challenged it will only get worse, (ive been through it). Ugh! these wh**es…..!

Post # 10
1078 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

I would definitely be upset – she sounds creepy and untrustworthy. 

I’m not sure what kind of advice to give you, other than don’t let her see you get upset about it. Your frustration might fuel the fire, and she’s probably the kind of girl that enjoys being all up in other women’s business.

Post # 12
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Girl she sounds like a hot mess. I would thank her personally for shoveling your 28″ of snow and give her a sugary sweet smile 😉 Tell her she’s welcome to start shoveling again this weekend.. I hear that the NE is getting snow again.

Post # 13
2362 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - New York Botanical Garden

I would definitely be annoyed.  Even if your fiance doesn’t see it, make sure he knows how you feel, and it one day may become apparent to him and he’ll think about what you said.  He should respect how you feel anyway, and try to make sure that he is not alone with her.  (this happened with us a few years back, a new neighbor while we were long distance.  I knew right away that she was vying for him, and he thought she was just being friendly. then she met me and stopped talking to him for a while, and came back twice as strong.  he got the picture and distanced himself).

Post # 15
2280 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I wonder how she would feel if you started asking for her son all the time, so you could feed him and hang out with him? Back it up like a Tonka truck, lady, or the oven mitts are going to come off.

Post # 16
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

Ok, yes, this would totally bug me.  I really think there are some girls who are so insecure that the only way they know how to relate to other people is through their sexuality–hence her inability to be nice to you and her insistence on flirting with your FH.  It’s sad.  If I were you I would just feel sorry for her.  She’s one of the women that hate all other women because they see them as competition rather than comrades, as enemies rather than the only other people who can really understand where they’re coming from.  She’s missing out.  I would not be at all surprised to discover that she doesn’t have any female friends at all.  This may stem from her having a baby out of wedlock, her female friends judging her, and her decision that she wasn’t going to put herself in a position to be judged anymore.  Her behavior is 100% inappropriate, but saying something to her will very likely fuel her perception of women as judgmental and unpleasant.  Befriending her might restore some of her faith in her own gender and she might back off….just a thought.  But seriously–gross, and sorry you’re dealing with this!

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