Post # 1
My Fh and I had our house built about a year ago. (well its a townhouse) and the row was built all at the same time when all 6 of us bought the property. I dont know what it is but the chic next to us, makes my blood boil.
Heres the deal- she is 29, has 1 son and has guys in and out of her house like its her job. (such a bad role model for her son). When we first moved in, my FH and I would try to make small talk with her to be neighborly. I started to notice that she would only talk to me if FH was around. If i came home from work and said hello, she would ignore me. When Fh comes home she literally runs out of the house just to say hello. She purposely makes her self appear whenever she sees or hears him outside but ignores me ALL THE TIME. Recently we have had a HUGE snow storm (28 inches) and FH was home because he had surgery on his knee. I still had to work. She went over to OUR house and asked him if she could shovel the drive way for HIM. SHE KNEW I WASNT THERE. this really set me off.
I wouldnt mind so much if she was actually nice to me. But it seems like she is being disrespectful on purpose. my FH doesnt see what I see and he says Im just being jealous, but Im not really the jealous type and it takes a lot to set me off. He said its not like that and he doesnt feel like she is doing anything to disrespect me.
would you be annoyed/upset?
Post # 3
Ew, I’d be really annoyed by that. It sounds like she is going out of her way to be extra nice to your Fiance. But, really, all that you can do I think is talk to him about being less receptive to her discussions or at the very least not encouraging the behavior by having a chat with her beyond ‘Hey’. You want to be neighborly but you don’t want it to get excessive. I think all you can do is keep making attempts to be nice to her. Neighbors are tricky–you don’t want them on your bad side! Maybe bring some cookies over and say, ‘Hey thanks so much for shoveling our driveway!’ and kill her with kindness?
Even if she is doing it on purpose, you can’t make her stop. She may just get worse if she sees it as a challenge!
Post # 4
Yes, it WOULD bother me.
We had this happen, a girl paid all sorts of attention to him, and ignored me for no apparent reason. (this was someone online, btw, not someone we know in real life.) When she started intimating that they had secrets together, it set me off.
Of course they didn’t, and yes, we had an argument or two about it, but ultimately it blew over. While SHE pissed me off, I had no reason not to trust Fiance, and that’s what it came down to.
Post # 5
I’d be peeved, but I would just laugh it off, label her a huge flirt and move on. Neighbours were built to annoy each other. Our next door neighbour (in her late 40s I believe) gardens in her bikini when she sees Fiance and his friends doing projects in our yard. More power to her, but heck, Fiance comes home to me every night, he’s not banging on her door that’s for sure!
Post # 6
Ugh, yeah that would bother me! And of course your FH doesn’t see it – he’s a guy!
Post # 7
Its not that I dont trust him. I do, completely. Its just the fact that she knows were engaged, we obviously have a house together, what would make her think its ok to be up on someones husband. I think she is a total skank and the child in me wants to knock her out. lol.
Post # 8
Something about a man being unavailable makes them the most attractive man on the face of the earth to some women. She must be one of those. She sounds a bit shameless. Just realize you’re the bigger person in the neighbourhood.
Post # 9
I’d be pretty pissed off. You Mr is like most- they dont see these things.
I like what ejs4y8 said, kill her with kindness. I think Id be in her face with all kinds of baked goods and recipes and ‘oh I made a little extra dinner tonight, thought Id bring some buy’.
How old is her son? Is she maybe getting paid by these men? Is that what we’re talking about?
But again, like mentioned if she smells a challenged it will only get worse, (ive been through it). Ugh! these wh**es…..!
Post # 10
I would definitely be upset – she sounds creepy and untrustworthy.
I’m not sure what kind of advice to give you, other than don’t let her see you get upset about it. Your frustration might fuel the fire, and she’s probably the kind of girl that enjoys being all up in other women’s business.
Post # 11
Principessa- she is total who*e! we have lived there a little over a year and we have seen 8 guys so far. NONE of which are the father of her boy who is, i believe 5 or 6 maybe. Our walls are practically sound proof (our other neighbor has 4 kids living there and WE NEVER hear them) but we can hear her screaming at her son. Literally screaming. so sad. I never see him outside playing with other kids in the neighborhood and there are kids across the street the same exact age. Poor kid.
I know that 2 of the guys have ended up in jail, one for not paying child support on his kid (not hers) and the other was for drugs. I learn all this by her telling my Fh.
I am a TERRIBLE liar, my emotions are always written all over my face. If I were to go over there and give her baked goods, it would be so obvious that I think she is a total skank lol.
I cant be nice to someone i despise. I wish I could though!
Post # 12
Girl she sounds like a hot mess. I would thank her personally for shoveling your 28″ of snow and give her a sugary sweet smile 😉 Tell her she’s welcome to start shoveling again this weekend.. I hear that the NE is getting snow again.
Post # 13
- Wedding: June 2010 - New York Botanical Garden
I would definitely be annoyed. Even if your fiance doesn’t see it, make sure he knows how you feel, and it one day may become apparent to him and he’ll think about what you said. He should respect how you feel anyway, and try to make sure that he is not alone with her. (this happened with us a few years back, a new neighbor while we were long distance. I knew right away that she was vying for him, and he thought she was just being friendly. then she met me and stopped talking to him for a while, and came back twice as strong. he got the picture and distanced himself).
Post # 14
Melissa its actually snowing again right now. We are supposed to get between 8-12 inches today and tomorrow. I work in healthcare, so I always have to come in to work no matter what. And fh works for an internet company so he can work from home when it snows.
Our other neighbor and my Fh always joke about my issue with her. We are pretty close to them and their adorable kids. Whenever they hear stuff about her or if her name gets brought up, they always say how she LOVES my fh. they think its funny that it gets me all stirred up.
Last summer I had an issue with her because she knocked on my door asking for Alex. He was sick and in bed and I asked her what she wanted and she said she brought him soup. It took every ounce of my being not to knock her teeth down her throat. lol. HE HAS A WIFE to make him soup, back it up.
SO the other neighbors always say….hey Vicky, do you need any soup? haha.
Post # 15
I wonder how she would feel if you started asking for her son all the time, so you could feed him and hang out with him? Back it up like a Tonka truck, lady, or the oven mitts are going to come off.
Post # 16
Ok, yes, this would totally bug me. I really think there are some girls who are so insecure that the only way they know how to relate to other people is through their sexuality–hence her inability to be nice to you and her insistence on flirting with your FH. It’s sad. If I were you I would just feel sorry for her. She’s one of the women that hate all other women because they see them as competition rather than comrades, as enemies rather than the only other people who can really understand where they’re coming from. She’s missing out. I would not be at all surprised to discover that she doesn’t have any female friends at all. This may stem from her having a baby out of wedlock, her female friends judging her, and her decision that she wasn’t going to put herself in a position to be judged anymore. Her behavior is 100% inappropriate, but saying something to her will very likely fuel her perception of women as judgmental and unpleasant. Befriending her might restore some of her faith in her own gender and she might back off….just a thought. But seriously–gross, and sorry you’re dealing with this!