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I don't think it would!
My husband is his own person his identity isn't really attached to me. I think maybe this person assumed the group already knew you were married, maybe?
I don't really like to use connections. If I know someones husbands name I use their name instead of the term "husband" all the time.
Maybe because it is a professional setting, this person doesn't want to draw your personal life into it?
I think I would need to know the full context of the situation to correctly judge my feelings but I think it would bother me only if it was related to the topic (if that makes sense). If he was bringing your husband up in an example of him being your husband than I would think he'd logically include you. However if he is saying just a basic fact like, my friend James has a button collection, I don't think he needs to mention you.
@SimplyChic11: Was this person also a friend/acquaintance of your DH's? If so, I see NO problem with it.
Honestly I'd think it was weird if people who knew both me and my DH would always say "KatNYC2011's husband so-and-so" rather than just saying "so-and-so".
I know he's my husband, it doesn't need to be broadcast every time he's talked about while I'm in the room.
In fact, I have a friend who always says things like "My husband, so and so" when *everyone* in the room is friends with both of them and just his name would suffice. I actually find it rather annoying.
It wouldn't bother me at all. After all, he is still a person with his own identity.
In fact , I am bothered by the exact opposite. I much prefer to be referenced by name rather than as "so and so's wife" or " so and so's mother"
Maybe it was the context that bugged me more than the answer given. It was in the manner of something that reflected me personally and someone I was related to. He, however, chose to leave me out of it and simply mention DH's connection to the person in question.
I agree with PPs, he is still a person with his own identity. I wouldn't say they're ignoring the fact that you're married. Them bringing up an example of something to do with their friend, doesn't mean they have to mention every connection that person has in the room. If you had brought up your husband as an example would you have said he was the friend of the other person? I am guessing not
@delirium.megans: Totally agree.
If I had to introduce someone/ talk about them in front of a crowd, I would just state their name. It sounds like it wasn't an intimate enviroment where introducing people like "Hey, this is Jerry, he is Susan's husband" would be off putting.
@SimplyChic11: Without more context all I can really say is that DH is his own person as am I.
Unless they were saying something along the lines of "so and so's wife does x" where you were the wife and not mentioned as such, I don't really see an issue.
@Jacqui90: no, but considering the fact that we are married not accquaintances and this concerned my own family... yes.
@SimplyChic11: if it reflected you personally, yes thats weird. I probably would have interjected something like, "Hey! That's ME!"
@SimplyChic11: do you think he did it assuming everyone knew he was your husband (since it was about you and people you were related to)?
@oracle: I'm not sure, not everyone in the room knew our connection. I just found it very odd.
If they know you're married, why would they constanly have to acknowledge the fact by referring to him as Pumkins husband? He has his own identity too. When I talk to people we know, I dont refer to him by saying "my husband blah blah " I say "Bob blah blah ".
It wouldn't bother me. My husband has his own identity that is entirely seperate from me.
I agree with KatNYC2011 that I think it would only bother me if they said something like "so and so's wife does x" where you were the wife and not mentioned as such.
I don't understand how it was used - can you tell us? I can't really judge based on the limited info.
in a professional or class setting i would feel embarrassed if we were discussing a topic in regards to my husbands knowledge/profession/whatever and someone tossed in "and hes married to our Ms L. i like to keep my prof life separate
if its a social setting this has happened, we are both divers and someone was talking about my hubby/a recent online post about a purchase that he read about and didnt know i was his wife until someone said something - didnt bother me
It wouldn't bother me in the least. In a professional setting we each have our own identity and I'd rather be refered to as individuals and not each other's spouses. In a social setting I I love hearing my friends call him by his name, because it implies they think of him as his own awesome person and not only 'my husband'.
If it was something like "Tom's SIL was a huge witch when this situation came up," it may have been to avoid saying, "That girl's sister was a huge witch when this situation came up." Same thing if the family member in question is going through something; whether it has negative connotations like drug addiction or whether it's a sad circumstance like cancer, he may have wanted to not draw attention to the fact that you're dealing with it. I know that personally, I'd really appreciate not having my class stare at me while someone else was talking.
Without context, it's really hard to know.
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By this I mean... friends of your man referring to him with no attachment to you whatsoever.
I don't know if it's just me but I was irked today when one of my peers brought up my husband's full name in class as an example for something or other and didn't refer to him as my husband at all. I've had a lot of this lately, people we mututally know ignoring the fact that we're married and when talking about my husband say 'full name of so and so' vs. 'misspumpkin'shusband, so and so'.
I find it weird to a room of strangers that this person wouldn't acknowledge our connection but instead went on to talk about him like he was the only person who knew my husband in the room at the time.
Would this irk you, too?