Would this letter offend you if you were invited to the wedding?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1504 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@sunangel08:  I think it’s great!!! Especially giving them the option to check on their kids anytime during the wedding! Great job.

Post # 4
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think it should be a phone call not a letter.

Post # 5
1992 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I think it’s fine except that I would change this line:


We really appreciate you understanding and cooperating with us! We recognize this is an important decision to make and we want you to feel as comfortable as possible, so please feel free to give us a call if you have any questions


We really appreciate your understanding. We recognize this is an important decision to make and we want you to feel as comfortable as possible, so please feel free to give us a call if you have any questions

“Cooperating with us” sounds pushy, IMO.

Post # 6
1102 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014


@sunangel08:  Thats great very well written, you can tell you care about the people and their children and have even looked into sitters thats above the norm and the fact you even found a room at the venue 


no one should be offened if they are they are looking to be and it has nothing to do with you 

Post # 7
1681 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@sunangel08:  I like it. I’m not a fan of the word “got” in the first paragraph. I know it seems silly to notice such a tiny thing, but I like strong word choice for a more composed finish.


Maybe you “compiled a list of possible babysitters”

Post # 8
1648 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2000

I think it’s great you’re providing a baby sitter.  I’d omit the part about “…as I’m sure you understand”  Some parents wont!

Post # 9
8720 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I agree it shouldnt be a letter.

Post # 10
300 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I like it.  But would not put it in with an invitaion.  More of an email or on the wedding website.  I dont think kids belong at weddings. Good for you!

Post # 11
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

If you only have 4 couples to send this to, this should be a personal phonecall, not a letter.  Something about a lot of the language bothers me.  It’s overly flowery and kind of stuffy.. 

For instance: Due to the circumstances, we’ve decided to have an adult only wedding as I’m sure you can understand.

This should just be: We’ve decided to have an adult only wedding.   

Honestly, I would not include this.  I would just call the four couples.

Post # 12
4134 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

errrrr. I would just call and chat with them and get a feel for their reaction. 

Post # 13
5391 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

I agree with calling them; we have about the same number of guests with children as you do, and have spoken to them all directly. We also haven’t apologised, or asked them to understand; we’ve been very matter-of-fact about it ie ‘We’ve decided to have an adult’s only wedding’; we don’t feel the need to justify or apologise for our guest-list decisions.

So, I would simply pick up the phone, and explain that the wedding will be adult’s only, and then let them know you have a list of baby-sitters who are available, etc, and ask them if they’d like you to send them the details.

Post # 14
1768 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I personally wouldn’t include a letter in the invitation (not my invitation that I’ve spent HOURS slaving over the design on!), but instead would call or email them. I think it’s a really great gesture that you’ve done all this legwork for the parents.

Post # 15
11379 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@sunangel08:  how can you say that you are having an adult only wedding but still having a fg/rb and inviting their siblings?  be careful how you word this.  if your friends show up and see these other children, they may feel offended.

i would probably call them vs a letter to let them know the arrangements that you have made for their children, if needed.

Post # 16
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

It’s perfectly acceptable to invite only the children in the wedding party (and it is polite to invite their siblings), but this should be done in person or on the phone. 

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