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@monalisa670: ugh - you entirely have a reason to be upset..early birthday present?? i hope he meant for himself !
I'd probably be a little pissed off, too. Just keep it in stride. It's one of those crappy things that happen, but not worth being too upset over for too long.
Not only would it upset me, I would throw the book in the fireplace. Since it IS your book. Problem solved.
I just want to make sure I understand. He said he was doing something for you, but then came home with a book for you, but he's the fan? Do you like the celebrity/author at all? I'm usually pretty laid back, but yeah, I would be irked he couldn't have just told the truth about what he was doing.
@monalisa670: Aw, I'd be a bit miffed too. To go from bumming that he's going to stay late at work to being really excited that he's being sweet and getting you a gift, back down to finding out it was more for his own selfish reasons would make me mad, too. I think that it's good he apologized, but yes, you deserve your own time to get over it, since an apology doesn't just make you *poof* feel better.
Maybe tomorrow or the next day, when you're less upset, talk with him about why you were so hurt. Let him know that had he invited you to come along or even just said 'oh wow, I really want to stay after work and go to this book signing, have a night out w/ the girls' or something, that would have been much better than fronting (and making it seem like it was for you...come on now, Mr.). Have some ice cream or whatever it is that makes you happy, and realize that he made a mistake, he didn't really realize how not-smart it was, and he means well (he did apologize, after all).
ETA- You can always stay out late getting a pedicure, and come home and tell him you painted your toes and had a girls day, but it was 'for him'. ;-) That can be your birthday gift from him.
Men and women think differently. I don't know how he can rationalize this , even to himself, but that's obviously what he tried to do.
Forgive him, tell him NEVER to pull such a stunt again, and move on.
Like the others said- yeah, I would be pretty annoyed. Not really super "mad" per se- well, maybe for that day. But mainly just pissed and annoyed that he could be so clueless. Hell, if he had just texted and said "Hey, my favorite celebrity is in town and I want to get her autograph" then I wouldn't care at all, but the fact that he said it was for you, when it was actually for him (yeah, he gave you the book, but it's like when Homer simpson gave Marge a bowling ball that said Homer on it) is the annoying part. Just one of those annoying things that I would just have to get mad then brush off.
I'd be slightly annoyed probably, but not bawling uncontrollably. I'd probably have tossed the book and told him he's taking me to my favorite restaurant.
I would be highly annoyed. I would wonder why he didn't just ask me to go with him. And also why he thought that would be a good gift for me?!
On the up side, I heard her book isn't bad.
Well, he didn't think about your feelings until after the fact. He attempted to lie, but then felt bad about it and came clean, kind of. (at least he told you the truth later) But I'd still be irritated and need some time, that is so ridiculous to lie about, just admit you wanted to meet her in person, don't say your working late, BIG no no, why don't men understand this?
And, I think you deserve a REALLY awesome birthday present now ;)
Thanks ladies. I knew you would be supportive! I pulled it together and talked to my friend and am feeling better. It was also just a really bad time to pull a stunt like that because I'm stressed to the max from other things so I think contributed to the tears :) But it feels really, really good to know that others would have been annoyed too.
I also talked to him and told him he better not ever again do something like that for himself and pretend like he was doing something nice for me. And that he owes me a good birthday gift that he actually puts some thought into.
@nqz100: Yes, he is competely the fan, but it is a book for women so he probably needed an excuse to meet her, and I was that excuse.
@future mrs j: Haha, it doesn't look bad, but I'm too busy proving a point to read it. :)
I would be super upset not because he went but because he tried to say it was a surprise for you! I am curious who the celebrity is?
@15happyyears: Yes that's exactly what it was more about! and to you and @Miss Lilac: it is Maria Menounos. He loves her.. which is cool. she's hot.And we're both Greek, she's Greek, I get it. I don't love her or anything but I don't not like her... I'd have totally gone to meet her, and been way more into getting the book if it wasn't handled this way.
@monalisa670: I hear you. I almost guarantee you that he didn't process the situation that way though. Maybe thisis one of those time where you just say to yourself "well, it's the thought that counts!" Haha.
I think his penis was more involved with the planning than his BRAIN.
Men, I tell ya...
uh, YEAH I'd be pissed!! That's so selfish!! Why on earth would he even lie about it in the first place?! Weird.
I'm glad you talked it out with him and are feeling better. Tell him I said that was a jackass move. :P
Ive been in your shoes so many times. It's totally a difference between guys and girls, they just seem to be freakin clueless at times. My guys always thinks he's done something awesome that I will love, but he ends up having to apoligize for it. Like when his mom borrowed a bunch of pictures of us and a letter he wrote to me once and it turns out he made a collage of them and glued them into this masive frame thing. Really sweet....except he didnt copy the pictures, he used the original and I had been trying to make a scrap book. Now I can never read the rest of the letter again, because it's fanned out on the frame. Wonderful idea...executed by a guy: Fail! I wouldnt take it too hard, I've heard these things from pretty much all of my friends. But yes, you do get to be upset, DEFINITELY! I'm so sorry that happened.
Laugh it off girlfriend. Men just can't help to do stupid things. My Luv its all about Cars. Be sweet as pie and find your pre-birthday gift. He'll remember not to make that mistake next time.:)
Go buy him a fireman calendar and hang it in the kitchen, for both of you to enjoy. :) glad you were able to calm down about it, guys are just weird sometimes and don't get it.
Well yeah, that's not your birthday present, that is his! Lame. I wouldn't have cried but I would have been bummed out for sure.
I'd have been livid. The closest thing my BF ever did to me like that was this stunt:
He planned a laser tag thing with a couple of his friend and I mentioned to him that it kind of bummed me out that he plans things like this with his friends but he almost never goes out of his way to plan an event for the two of us. He then proceeded to tell me that he actually had a surprise plan for us for that weekend. I thought he was lying, and a little miffed that he gave away the surprise, but he assured me that he totally had it allllll figured out! Turns out 2 days later he gets out of work, I'm all ready in nice clothes with my hair and make-up done & he asks why I'm all dressed up. Come to find out he forgot about trying to execute his lie, or "plan" and I was all dressed up with no place to go because he can be an ass.
Honestly though, I'd have been more mad if I had been in your shoes because it seems like your Hubby was doing it because he thought the girl was hot, & that would just PISS me OFF!
Thanks again everyone!! You're all so supportive, it's great. I'm totally better today, of course it's still annoying but I'm over it. I know most girls wouldn't have cried but I'm a crier, its how I let out my emotions, and like I said I'm stressed to the max so I think that knocked me over the edge. However I think he learned his lesson and hopefully i'll be getting an extra good real birthday present out of it, haha.
thanks again!
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So tonight my hubby texted saying he was working late. A little while later, he said he'd lied and was actually in town getting something for me and that I could consider it an early birthday present. He kept saying he hoped I wouldn't be mad though. I feel like an idiot now but I was so impressed that he was going out of his way to do something nice for me. I was thinking maybe jewlery, candy, something that I'd like but would feel guilty about. I was really touched that he was going out of his way to do something on a night he was exhausted from working early and wouldn't normally do anything. (He said it had to be tonight or he wouldn't be able to get it.)
I just talked him into giving it to me early because I was so curious. Turns out it's a book signed by his favorite celebrity female, who wrote a book and was at a signing. He's been obsessed with her for as long as I can remember. At first I was just shocked, and then it sunk in, and now I can't stop bawling. I feel like I'm being an idiot but it is just such a slap in the face that I thought he was doing something nice for me and he was actually drooling over his dream girl. It wasn't about me at all, it was completely about him. I honestly could care less that he met her, hell I'd have gone with him. I'm just so incredibly disappointed, hurt, and angry at him for being so clueless. And talk about feeling the opposite of special.
He's all apologetic now and I told him I accept his apology but that I think I deserve to be a little upset for awhile. Can anyone give me some validation?? I could use some support. Would this upset you?