(Closed) Would this weird you out???

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: 2 questions
    Yes, I would go to the event in their old marital home where his picture is still hung & other stuff : (62 votes)
    53 %
    No way would I walk into that !! : (0 votes)
    It's odd his ex wife still has pictures with him hung on walls & his stuff he doesn't want : (38 votes)
    33 %
    I have pictures of my ex husband & our kids up on my walls too. Totally normal : (3 votes)
    3 %
    I don't have my ex husband on my wall but I think it's fine. : (13 votes)
    11 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    8163 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Maybe she has kept some of those things to try and keep things more normal for her daughter. It might be hard on her to suddenly see all of her family photos gone. I do agree the deoderant and such is really weird though. But I would still go.

    Post # 4
    Member
    3472 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

    It sounds like they had a long relationship together– obviously it depends on the motives for their split, but I don’t think it’s weird at all for a woman who created a life with a man to try and hold onto at least some part of that for a few years.  Even if she doesn’t still want him she wants what he used to represent in her life. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    4275 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I would go, but question her sanity….

    Post # 8
    Member
    5148 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I would go. You’re going for the kid, not the ex-wife.

    I would think it’s weird if she had pictures up just of the 2 of them, but if they are pictures with the kids, completely acceptable. You can’t expect someone to throw out pictures of their children just because their ex-spouse is in the picture. Not only would that make the parent be missing out on memories of their kids. It’s also not fair to the kids to get rid of the pictures because both parents should still be in the kids’ lives and trying to keep an amicable relationship.

    Post # 9
    Member
    5670 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    It’s odd that the ex is still like this but I would definetly go. She looks like the crazy one and your are their to support your step daughter. I understand feeling uncomfortable but you may need to put those feelings aside to support the daughter and also come off as the better person.

    Post # 10
    Member
    11753 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I think it’s fine.  My friend LIVES in her fiances house – which is the house him and his ex-wife lived in.  Now THAT would make me uncomfortable!

    Post # 11
    Member
    3078 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Have you asked your step daughter if she has a preference?  I remember when I graduated high school all I wanted was to have one big graduation party, but my parents refused to be in the same room together.  I ended up not having one at all because I didn’t want to have 2 seperate ones.  Ask what she would prefer.  I’m sure that will help your decision and make her feel a little special

    Post # 12
    Member
    9630 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @Westwood:   Agree with this.

    OP:  Go and don’t let it get to you.  It has nothing to do with you.  It will make your FI and his daughter happy and that’s the most important thing.  I understand why it will be weird for you.  But maybe it won’t end up being as uncomfortable as you think.  Do the right thing and go on the day. She was nice enough to invite you and if you don’t show that may upset his daughter. 

    Think of it as giving yourself some really positive karma points, lol.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1513 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    ive never been in your situation, but i feel like your step daughters graduation party should be about whats best for her, so if celebrating with her whole family, you and the ex included, is what she needs, you’ll have to set aside your reservations and do it. if he can be in the same room as the ex, i think its important to avoid seperate parties if possible. 

    i saw a PP say maybe she kept things to make life more normal for her daughters, and that sounds reasonable to me. even if that’s not the case, i say who cares? clearly he loves you and thats all that matters (that and that hes a good dad to his kids with the ex!)

    Post # 14
    Member
    4755 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I think it’s normal to have family photos on the wall. No matter if he/ she remarries they will always be some sort of family as they have children together. I think this is just part of being with a partner who has kids.

    Post # 16
    Member
    13101 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    @abbyful:  “I would think it’s weird if she had pictures up just of the 2 of them, but if they are pictures with the kids, completely acceptable.”

    I agree.  I don’t find the photo thing strange at all.  The deoderant – yeah a little weird maybe.  But maybe she is a bit of a pack-rat or something and just never bothered to clean out his stuff.  It’s not like she was cherishing the smell of his old deoderant every night or anything (I hope).

    I honestly don’t think I would even bat an eye at attending an event for a soon-to-be step-daughter in the old marital home.

    The topic ‘Would this weird you out???’ is closed to new replies.

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