Would you adopt?

posted 3 years ago in Babies
Post # 5
Member
6644 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I would in heart beat, we talked about that if couldn’t have children.

Post # 6
Member
2454 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Yes. We plan on adopting if we cannot have natural children within 2 years of TTC. No offense to anyone out there, but I dont see the point of having IVF children when there are a million out there looking to be born. It’s just a personal choice though. 

Post # 7
Member
1185 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

My FI and I discussed this before getting engaged. I think it’s important for people to have those conversations obviously. We agreed that if we couldn’t get pregnant naturally we would want to try everything else first.. IVF… and i guess I don’t know much other ways lol. I am 13w tmrw with a suprise baby. It could very well be the only baby we can have because of my severe liver problems, I’ll likely need a resection and transplant. I don’t believe the resection causes infertility though potentially some of the drugs i need or something? But the transplant i was told can cause fertility problems. Anyways, to answer your question. We agreed we would adopt if that was the last resort for having a baby. Not that were against adoption, but we wanted to try all options to have a baby that we created first. We never fully discussed the details of where we would adopt from, or what have you. We also talked about like Surrogacy and stuff. Also, truthfully, I am excitied to have a little baby. So if we adopted, I would likely be interested in adopting a baby from someone who was pregnant and was looking for someone to adopt the baby right away or what have you. I did discuss that part with my FI and he was very open to all of it. He is super excited to be a dad!

Post # 8
Member
703 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I have always wanted to adopt as well as have biological children. I have an adopted brother and love him to death! I want the same for my kids :).

Post # 9
Member
1690 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Where I am from, a public domestic adoption doesn’t cost any money, and that is the route my FI and I are taking. 

Lwe formally submitted our paperwork in January, and at this point we just wait our turn in line basically until we can move forward. It’s about a two year wait, and could be long depending on what you’re looking for in a child. For example, if you want a newborn baby, youre looking at a long long wait because they just aren’t available through the public system very often. Also, most children through the public system have some time of special need, ranging from very mild to very severe, so it depends what you’re willing to accept. ALSO, if you’re willing to accept a sibling group as opposed to just 1 child, you probably won’t wait as long. 

My FI are hoping to adopt a girl, aged 2-6, and relatively healthy (no major special needs). So our wait might be long, but we’ll see. 

We are choosing to adopt because although we were lucky enough to have 1child oF our own, I’ve had multiple (like a lot) of miscarriages before and after getting pregnant with our son and we just decided to stop TTC. We probably could have tried harder, or tried drugs or whatever the next step was, but that wasnt for us..  We really want to adopt. It’s not a last resort for us, it’s a choice we are happily making. 

Post # 10
Member
1563 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

We hope to have a couple bio children and then adopt. That’s been our plan for our a while.

Post # 12
Member
2302 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

definitely –  we can have children but have discussed adopting extensively. i would do it in a heartbeat! my partner is more cautious – but we are both open to the idea. 

Post # 13
Member
329 posts
Helper bee

I think adoption is such a gift and a blessing, and am totally for it. I used to think that if you can’t have kids, adoption was a simple solution.

Now, having friends who have gone through it, I know that it takes a lot of money (stricly speaking about international), time and patience to go through the entire process. And it’s so sad because there are so many people who would make excellent parents that have no children.

I am also aware that in some states, if you start the process from when the baby is in the womb, you (obviously) have to wait for the mother to give birth.  In some states, the mom can change her mind for a certain number of days after she gives birth, which is heart breaking for the parents who have waited so long for a child!

Post # 14
Member
259 posts
Helper bee

I will be for two reasons. The first is because I cannot have my own and the second is because I come from a family where adoption is the common thing. We joke that anyone who tries to trace our history would die before getting through the group of kids being born or joining our family now. 

However the process is very exhausting and I have so much respect for people that have done it.  My FSIL and her wife waited 12 years, my parents waited 6, and other family members have spent thousands for international adoptions. It’s an amazing experience but it isn’t always ‘up’. Plus, the process of having a child adjust if they are older (3+) is a challenge within itself. It isn’t something people should decide to do on a whim- it’s a life choice just like having a biological child. 

 

Post # 15
Member
4223 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I kind of feel the desire to adopt even if we have our own. It’s always kind of been in my head to do it or look into it. Not sure why. 

Post # 16
Member
1584 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@figgnewton:  I would definitely adopt, if I couldn’t conceive naturally. There are so many kids out there who need parents!

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