(Closed) Would you allow a plus 1 for all family members?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Would you allow a plus 1 for immediate family members?
    Yes, because they are family : (12 votes)
    44 %
    No, only serious relationships. : (12 votes)
    44 %
    Maybe, if they ask. : (3 votes)
    11 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    624 posts
    Busy bee

    Well everyone was allowed a +1 for us.  Most people didn’t even bring their +1.

    Those extra people would add on about an extra $1K to your expenses.

    Whatever you decide you should have it straight across the board.

    Post # 4
    Member
    2821 posts
    Sugar bee

    My sisters talked about who their +1 would be too but they didn’t really expect one.  Only one of them got it becasue she’s been dating someone for three years.  I just ‘asked’ them if they’d mind not having one since all our cousins would be there who they don’t really get to see that often and we had a limited number of people that could fit so I’d rather invite people I knew.  They understood and were fine. 

    If they really, really protested I would have considered it but probably would just have been tried to convince them more and showed them my list and asked who should I cut, so they’d understand.

    Post # 5
    Member
    1510 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I added a +1 for everyone over the age of 18.  I think if they are making the effort to come to my wedding, they should be able to bring a guest.  Some of my friends are bringing siblings as their guests, which is fine with me.  Some aren’t bringing anyone.  Whoever they want to bring is fine with me.  I always appreciated the +1 gesture regardless of if I brought someone. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    2867 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    My brothers aren’t getting a +1 because neither of them are seriously dating anyone. Plus their whole family is going to be there so they don’t really need to bring a guest to feel comfortable.

    I’m more likely to allow a random +1 for a friend who doesn’t know many people than a family member who knows almost everyone.

    Post # 7
    Member
    7779 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    We’re only allowing +1s that are serious relationships. We dont have the space or the budget for that.

    Post # 8
    Member
    5757 posts
    Bee Keeper

    We gave every single person a plus one…who likes to go to a wedding by themselves? There’s nothing worse and more uncomfortable than being the only single at a table,regardless of how many other people you know there. They may choose not to bring a date, but I think its a gracious thing to do for your guests. The only way I would eliminate it would be if I was at a bare bones budget and it was simply impossible financially to add to the guest list.

    Post # 9
    Member
    5671 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I am allowing every single person over the age of 18 a plus one, most won’t even bring someone but I think as adults they should get the option. My MOH was not allowed to bring a +1 to her sisters wedding, but the groom’s sister was because she was dating someone. This caused a lot of fights between my MOH and her sister. I think if my MOH was given the option she may not have even brought anyone but she felt insulted that her sister didn’t even give her the option. Maybe you can talk to your siblings about the cost (in this situation I mentioned, cost was not an issue).

    Post # 10
    Member
    447 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    We went against the grain with this one, I think, and picked and chose who got +1s.  Long-term relationships: +1.  Not going to know many people there: +1.  Going to be sitting at a table with all their friends and family and not in a serious relationship: no +1.  We were thoughtful about it and if people asked if they could bring someone we sometimes said yes and sometimes said no. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    4486 posts
    Honey bee

    If you make an exception for one person, everyone else will wonder why they didn’t get the same exception. Plus ones add up to a ton of money that people may not have and may not be willing to spend on total strangers. If you don’t want random people whom you will never see again and who don’t care about you at your wedding, then don’t allow anyone a plus one. Folks in serious relationships (including married couples) are supposed to be invited as a couple. If someone is not in a serious relationship, there is no reason they can’t attend solo. If someone honestly doesn’t feel they will be able to enjoy themselves without a friend or date then maybe they are better off declining the invite. People attend weddings solo all the time, and if a guest knows just one other person who is invited, there is no reason they can’t at least try to have a good time.

    We have a handful of family who is not in any relationship and they are not getting a plus one because we don’t want to spend the day with people we don’t know and will never see again, and we don’t want to spend our hard earned money on who don’t care about us at all. No one has asked either, especially since they don’t make it a point to bring along random people to other family events and have no problems at all enjoying themselves when they do attend solo.

    Post # 13
    Member
    5757 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I’m guessing you two really didn’t discuss your limitations if he keeps adding people to the list. One thing to consider is that just because you invite all those people,  doesn’t mean that all will accept. Many brides have been really concerned that acceptances have been so low.

    At my daughter’s wedding last June, all her co-workers with came solo…and she and her FI were really upset about it. That was 17 less people than we expected. Others had family obligations, one was sick, another had a family death…see where I’m going? Of the 140 invited,we had 117 attend.

    My other daughter’s wedding last month had 85 come of 100 invited, so again, not everyone attended. You should plan for the worst case scenario, but you can also expect some people will decline.

    Tell him to stop inviting everybody! What is he thinking?! You’ll figure it out, and hopefully, with as few arguments as possible.

    Post # 14
    Member
    516 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    I am only inviting serious SO’s

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