Post # 1
My fiance’s sisters were in town recently and were talking about who they would bring as their guest. We were planning to only allow our family members and friends to bring someone in a serious relationship or spouses only, not friends or random people we don’t know.
My father also gave me his guest list for a plus 1 for him too. But he is helping with some expenses, so I had no problems with him bringing someone.
What do you think? If we allow each single immediate family member (parents and siblings) to bring a guest that are not spouses or fiances, it would add 8 people. My fiance just doesn’t want to fight his family. However, I am the one responsible for most of the wedding expenses.
Post # 3
Well everyone was allowed a +1 for us. Most people didn’t even bring their +1.
Those extra people would add on about an extra $1K to your expenses.
Whatever you decide you should have it straight across the board.
Post # 4
My sisters talked about who their +1 would be too but they didn’t really expect one. Only one of them got it becasue she’s been dating someone for three years. I just ‘asked’ them if they’d mind not having one since all our cousins would be there who they don’t really get to see that often and we had a limited number of people that could fit so I’d rather invite people I knew. They understood and were fine.
If they really, really protested I would have considered it but probably would just have been tried to convince them more and showed them my list and asked who should I cut, so they’d understand.
Post # 5
I added a +1 for everyone over the age of 18. I think if they are making the effort to come to my wedding, they should be able to bring a guest. Some of my friends are bringing siblings as their guests, which is fine with me. Some aren’t bringing anyone. Whoever they want to bring is fine with me. I always appreciated the +1 gesture regardless of if I brought someone.
Post # 6
My brothers aren’t getting a +1 because neither of them are seriously dating anyone. Plus their whole family is going to be there so they don’t really need to bring a guest to feel comfortable.
I’m more likely to allow a random +1 for a friend who doesn’t know many people than a family member who knows almost everyone.
Post # 7
We’re only allowing +1s that are serious relationships. We dont have the space or the budget for that.
Post # 8
We gave every single person a plus one…who likes to go to a wedding by themselves? There’s nothing worse and more uncomfortable than being the only single at a table,regardless of how many other people you know there. They may choose not to bring a date, but I think its a gracious thing to do for your guests. The only way I would eliminate it would be if I was at a bare bones budget and it was simply impossible financially to add to the guest list.
Post # 9
I am allowing every single person over the age of 18 a plus one, most won’t even bring someone but I think as adults they should get the option. My MOH was not allowed to bring a +1 to her sisters wedding, but the groom’s sister was because she was dating someone. This caused a lot of fights between my MOH and her sister. I think if my MOH was given the option she may not have even brought anyone but she felt insulted that her sister didn’t even give her the option. Maybe you can talk to your siblings about the cost (in this situation I mentioned, cost was not an issue).
Post # 10
We went against the grain with this one, I think, and picked and chose who got +1s. Long-term relationships: +1. Not going to know many people there: +1. Going to be sitting at a table with all their friends and family and not in a serious relationship: no +1. We were thoughtful about it and if people asked if they could bring someone we sometimes said yes and sometimes said no.
Post # 11
If you make an exception for one person, everyone else will wonder why they didn’t get the same exception. Plus ones add up to a ton of money that people may not have and may not be willing to spend on total strangers. If you don’t want random people whom you will never see again and who don’t care about you at your wedding, then don’t allow anyone a plus one. Folks in serious relationships (including married couples) are supposed to be invited as a couple. If someone is not in a serious relationship, there is no reason they can’t attend solo. If someone honestly doesn’t feel they will be able to enjoy themselves without a friend or date then maybe they are better off declining the invite. People attend weddings solo all the time, and if a guest knows just one other person who is invited, there is no reason they can’t at least try to have a good time.
We have a handful of family who is not in any relationship and they are not getting a plus one because we don’t want to spend the day with people we don’t know and will never see again, and we don’t want to spend our hard earned money on who don’t care about us at all. No one has asked either, especially since they don’t make it a point to bring along random people to other family events and have no problems at all enjoying themselves when they do attend solo.
Post # 12
Our guest list keeps getting bigger, mostly because my fiance keeps adding people. So our 85 person wedding is now closer to 120. We are inviting 145 and know many of our older family members from out of state will not come. The wedding is at a resort on the water, which we could afford because we wanted to keep the guest list small. Now, I am going to have to make up the extra cost and really do not want the burden on my shoulders. Our entire bridal party is single as are most of our friends. Only my fiance’s brother is married(neither of our parents or other multiple siblings are married). So to let everyone single invited to the wedding have a plus 1, it would add about 50 people. Say 25 bring people, that jumps the guest list to almost double the original amount. I wanted an intimate wedding with people I love and know around me.
We are also providing a rehearsal dinner and morning after brunch for our OOT guests, which include most of our guests. I just don’t know if I would want random people coming to all of these things.
Post # 13
I’m guessing you two really didn’t discuss your limitations if he keeps adding people to the list. One thing to consider is that just because you invite all those people, doesn’t mean that all will accept. Many brides have been really concerned that acceptances have been so low.
At my daughter’s wedding last June, all her co-workers with came solo…and she and her FI were really upset about it. That was 17 less people than we expected. Others had family obligations, one was sick, another had a family death…see where I’m going? Of the 140 invited,we had 117 attend.
My other daughter’s wedding last month had 85 come of 100 invited, so again, not everyone attended. You should plan for the worst case scenario, but you can also expect some people will decline.
Tell him to stop inviting everybody! What is he thinking?! You’ll figure it out, and hopefully, with as few arguments as possible.
Post # 14
I am only inviting serious SO’s