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If I were asked by my FSIL who I don't hang out with and haven't been around hardly at all to be a bridesmaid I would feel awkward. That is just me though. I feel bridesmaids should be who you are closest to and if I wasn't close to the person asking I would politely decline. I would also wonder if my family pushed them into it or something to make them ask me.
@Corilee13: Yeah, this is what I was thinking. I mean, she will be my fsil, but I barely know her
I wouldn't because it could be a recipe for disaster but it wouldn't be weird.
@Talishazwi: How could it be a recipe for disaster? Serious question. She seems like a very chill, very low drama girl. I actually really like her- at least, I like what little I know of her
@jackndiane:Yeah, if you guys were closerI would say go for it, or if you knew she wanted to be in the wedding party again I would say go for it. But if she really hasn't said anything about it I wouldn't. I have been asked by a casual friend (more of a co-worker than anything else) to be her bridesmaid and it was awkward as hell because I barely knew her and didn't know how to turn her down without hurting her.
I would not ask her because she isn't your SIL and you don't really know her.
ETA: if you did know her and you were close, I would say include her (regardless of FBIL's intentions to propose).
What if they break up and you have this girl in your wedding pictures? This happened to a fiend of mine. She dated a guy for years and everyone was sure they would get married. Well, they ended up breaking up and she had been in his sister's wedding. Big framed family picture hanging on the sister's wall.
Ok, so that really isn't that big of a deal. How far a way is your wedding? If you have time, I would maybe wait until the holidays when you are bound to see them and see if you feel like you are getting to know her any better. I would also maybe run it by FMIL and see what she thought.
How long until your wedding? Maybe you could spend some time getting to know her better, then ask. I was reading a post the other day, or maybe an article somewhere, on reasons to wait to choose your bridal party.
I don't know, I wouldn't ask her. Since you've only met a few times, even though you like her, she's not one of your closest friends. So you'd be asking her because you expect her to be your sister-in-law soon. You're probably right, but that also might put some kind of weird pressure on her or her boyfriend that you didn't intend. I just wouldn't go there.
@mrskesslertobe: I like the suggestion of waiting a little to the holidays and seeing if it feels more natural! Thanks!
@jackndiane:recipe for disaster because you don't know her that well. You don't know for sure if she will respond when you need her to, buy her dress on time, whether you can be honest with her, etc... and that can put a strain on any future relationship you might have with her. Also, as @mrskesslertobe: said, what if they break up?
I would just see how it goes when it gets closer. There is no law that says you have to ask all your BM's at the same time. You can wait. And she can still be just as involved without being a BM.
I haven't read the other responses, but I think that you should choose girls who you know well and really want to have by your side to be bridesmaids. I do think, though, that it would be a nice gesture to include this girl in some family pictures and such.
I think the answer is obvious from this statement you made
"I really don't have a preference regarding making her a bridesmaid or not. I think it would be nice, but I don't care one way or another"
You should care deeply for the individuals that will be standing up there with you IMO.
Personally I wouldn't ask her. Like you said your self you don't know her that well and you don't have a prefrence wether or not she is one. That should be your sign.
I think your bridal party should make up of the people that are closest to you. People that know you and are willing to stand beside you in support of your marrigeNot just "who you should ask". My mom suggested I ask my sister and I told her strait out no. We don't get along and she doesn't need to be in my wedding party just because she is my sister.
Good luck!
I've been a bridesmaid in somewhat of this sense, and I felt like she just needed me to make the numbers even between the groomsmen and bridesmaids. If you're not close, she won't have an issue with just attending. Trust me.
I would say dont ask her to be a bridesmaid but maybe find some other way to include her if you want her to be apart.
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My fiance has only one brother and this brother has had a serious gf for 3 years now. The brother is probably going to propose to his gf within the next 1-2 years. I have met the gf about 4 times total. I really like her and I am hoping she will become part of the family (especially since she is one of the few sane people in that family- but that is another story). Anyway, I really don't have a preference regarding making her a bridesmaid or not. I think it would be nice, but I don't care one way or another. My question is this: since she will probably be my sister in law soon, should she be a bridesmaid? Would it be weird to ask her to be a bridesmaid given that I have only met her a handful of times? I am almost certain that she will be my sister in law soon.