Would you attend this wedding if you were me? Opinions please

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
855 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@sweetchiquita12:  I think it kind of depends on what the rest of the extended family is doing to be honest.  It would be a lot stranger for you to bail if its a local wedding and most of the family is going.  For the record I had a younger cousin that got obsessed with doing things “first” and it totally soured the relationship, so I understand your frustration.  This is probably one of those things to just try to get past and smile and go to the wedding.

Post # 4
Member
4410 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@sweetchiquita12:  I would definitely attend in this case. Not attending will only make a bad situation worse, and it will deepen the rift between you two. It sounds like you both haven’t been communicating well with each other — I’d get in contact with her and clear the air ASAP (tell her how much she means to you, explain to her why she wasn’t a bridesmaid, let her know you were sad she wasn’t at your wedding).

Post # 5
Member
8426 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@sweetchiquita12:  It depends on if I would want a relationship with this cousin.  If I did want to have some sort of relationship, I would probably go with a card and gift; if I didn’t care I’d probably just ditch out on the whole thing.

Post # 6
Member
1362 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley

Attend her wedding so she has to spend money on your plate.  That’ll teach her!

But in all seriousness, I would try not to let this bother you.  She is the one with the issue here, not you!  Doing the same thing in return is just going to make you look silly, too.  Go and have a good time! Enjoy the family and food!

Post # 7
Member
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I wouldn’t let the fact she didn’t attend my wedding be the deciding factor on whether or not I attended hers.

Post # 9
Member
1926 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@sweetchiquita12:  If you are good with not having a relatioship with her and you really don’t want to go then dont… but if it were ME I would do it just to be the bigger person. She acted like a child. 

Post # 10
Member
9533 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would be the grown up and attend.

Post # 11
Member
2565 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

She acted like a child, you don’t have to.  Just go to the wedding and maybe she will get over herself and stop being so ridiculous over the fact that you got married first.

Post # 12
Member
790 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@sweetchiquita12:  Id still go, shes paying for  your food, give her the same amout of money back in a card. Go eat food, dance, dress up pretty  have fun with your new husband and if shes asks if you had a good time. Shes going to be busy at her wedding to notice you, but im sure your parents/aunt uncle (her parents) will see that you didnt attent…. ide suck it up and eat the food…  🙂 you can always leave early…say you got sick…(becaue if the cake) ha! 

Post # 13
Hostess
22135 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’m so sorry your cousin blew off your wedding! That really stings. 🙁

I know it’s easier said than done, but I’d try to be the bigger person in this situation and would probably still attend the wedding. My logic:  I can’t control how other people treat me, but I can control how I treat other people.

Obviously, it’s totally up to you though!

 

Post # 15
Member
8282 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

My first cousin and her mom didn’t attend mine and I do not plan on attending hers when the time comes. 

Post # 16
Member
7216 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@sweetchiquita12:  Did the “religious wedding ceremony” include a reception?

EDIT: My point being, if it didn’t, then IMHO it wasn’t rude of her to skip it.

Either way, I’d attend hers.

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