Post # 1
So my first cousin didnt attend my wedding. We grew up together and were close all throughout our chuldhood since we are only two months apart. We have grown apart over the years because we are very different people but there has never been any bad blood between us until recently when she found out I was getting married before her. I had three functions for my wedding and she didnt even attend one of them. I knew that she was not going to attend my destination wedding because of money but she didnt even come to my pre wedding family dinner OR my actual religious wedding ceremony in our home town. She told me that she had to “work” I thought this was rude but was like ok she has had some job issues in the past so maybe she really did have to work and couldnt get out of it. She sent a card and a small monetary gift with her parents from her and her fiance. Once the wedding is over I get no congratulations from her at all not even a msg or anything. I find out a few months later through a mutual friend that she didnt have to work at all and just didnt want to come because she was angry I didn’t include her in my bridal party. The thing is my bridal party was only a part of the destination wedding which she wasnt even able to attend.
Well now her wedding is coming up next year. I dont want to attend because she rudely didnt attend my wedding and I plan to do the same thing. If I hadn’t found out she purposely didn’t come I probably still would have went but the fact that she didn’t really have work and just ditched it makes me not want to attend her wedding now. What would you do if you were me? Would you attend the wedding?
Post # 3
@sweetchiquita12: I think it kind of depends on what the rest of the extended family is doing to be honest. It would be a lot stranger for you to bail if its a local wedding and most of the family is going. For the record I had a younger cousin that got obsessed with doing things “first” and it totally soured the relationship, so I understand your frustration. This is probably one of those things to just try to get past and smile and go to the wedding.
Post # 4
@sweetchiquita12: I would definitely attend in this case. Not attending will only make a bad situation worse, and it will deepen the rift between you two. It sounds like you both haven’t been communicating well with each other — I’d get in contact with her and clear the air ASAP (tell her how much she means to you, explain to her why she wasn’t a bridesmaid, let her know you were sad she wasn’t at your wedding).
Post # 5
@sweetchiquita12: It depends on if I would want a relationship with this cousin. If I did want to have some sort of relationship, I would probably go with a card and gift; if I didn’t care I’d probably just ditch out on the whole thing.
Post # 6
- Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley
Attend her wedding so she has to spend money on your plate. That’ll teach her!
But in all seriousness, I would try not to let this bother you. She is the one with the issue here, not you! Doing the same thing in return is just going to make you look silly, too. Go and have a good time! Enjoy the family and food!
Post # 7
I wouldn’t let the fact she didn’t attend my wedding be the deciding factor on whether or not I attended hers.
Post # 8
@housebee: @MrsWBS: She has actaully been really mean to me after finding out I was getting married before her and came to my engagement party and acted like a drunk fool saying really hurtful things. So I really dont want a relationship with her anyways..Is that a good deciding factor?
Post # 9
@sweetchiquita12: If you are good with not having a relatioship with her and you really don’t want to go then dont… but if it were ME I would do it just to be the bigger person. She acted like a child.
Post # 10
I would be the grown up and attend.
Post # 11
She acted like a child, you don’t have to. Just go to the wedding and maybe she will get over herself and stop being so ridiculous over the fact that you got married first.
Post # 12
@sweetchiquita12: Id still go, shes paying for your food, give her the same amout of money back in a card. Go eat food, dance, dress up pretty have fun with your new husband and if shes asks if you had a good time. Shes going to be busy at her wedding to notice you, but im sure your parents/aunt uncle (her parents) will see that you didnt attent…. ide suck it up and eat the food… 🙂 you can always leave early…say you got sick…(becaue if the cake) ha!
Post # 13
I’m so sorry your cousin blew off your wedding! That really stings. 🙁
I know it’s easier said than done, but I’d try to be the bigger person in this situation and would probably still attend the wedding. My logic: I can’t control how other people treat me, but I can control how I treat other people.
Obviously, it’s totally up to you though!
Post # 14
@Gemstone: That’s a good logic! I like that. We will see if I change my mind by then its isnt until late next year so maybe I will be less bitter by then
Post # 15
My first cousin and her mom didn’t attend mine and I do not plan on attending hers when the time comes.
Post # 16
@sweetchiquita12: Did the “religious wedding ceremony” include a reception?
EDIT: My point being, if it didn’t, then IMHO it wasn’t rude of her to skip it.
Either way, I’d attend hers.