Post # 1
The bride got you a gift that was equally or more expensive than what she asked you to pay for your cost of being a bridesmaid? like, if she had enough money to buy you an expensive gift, wouldn’t you rather she’d have just paid for your dress, etc… instead and skipped the gifts?
Post # 3
It is the same situation when parents give couples a large amount of money towards the wedding, then the couple buys the parents an expensive gift. Why didn’t the couple simply spend less on the wedding and return the extra funds?
Post # 4
@Aquaria: kinda but it may hav been circumstantial ex: a family member gives them extra money that they were nt expecting… I see your point of view but just be understanding at the same time at least she is paying it back to you guys just in a different way
Post # 5
Were im from its expected of the bridesmaid to buy her own dress. Of course it would be a nice gesture for the bride to buy the dress.
Post # 6
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
No. These issues are separate. A gift is a thank you. If she gifted the items she wanted you to wear, that’s not a thank you. That’s a subsidy. If you had an issue with the budget, that should’ve been handled in its own right.
Post # 7
@Jen51287: of course it’s traditional for the bridesmaid to purchase her own dress. I’m not disputing that. It’s just that if a bridesmaid has to sacrifice a lot of cash to pay for the bride’s choice of dress, and then the bride goes and gives her a diamond necklace (which is an amazing gift, but probably not as useful as that cash would have been) it would be kind of awkward. I’ve seen this happen a lot.
Post # 8
@Aquaria: But now you get a pretty diamond necklace out of the deal! I think as long as the bridesmaid is comfortable paying for her dress, shoes, etc, this is totally fine. And I agree with PP, buying the dress wouldn’t really be a gift.
Post # 9
@Aquaria: If I agree to be a bridesmaid I know I pay for my dress, shoes, accessories, hair and makeup. I have that figured out before saying yes. I personally would like a gift.. and additional “thanks so much for doing all of this for me”.
Post # 10
It depends- I have bought my friends gifts that I purchased with gift cards. So very little of my money was actually spent on the gift even though it was a very expensive item.
Post # 11
No way! I was Maid/Matron of Honor twice and each time I got gifts that I cherish. I could have bought myself the same jewelry, but lets face it I probably wouldn’t and now it’s more meaningful. I also got a coach bag that I love.
Post # 12
No… that would not annoy me. And, let me tell you, it most certainly did not annoy my bridesmaids, who got very generous gifts and were really happy about them.
Post # 13
@Aquaria: I think you have a valid point. You spend money that is not in excess supply, to buy a dress that you will likely never wear again, along with expenses for shoes , makeup, hair etc and the bride then buys you an expensive gift that you will treasure as a memory of the wedding, but that really isn’t part of your lifestyle.
Post # 14
I only have one bridesmaid (my MOH) and she is buying her own dress. My gift to her is going to be a necklace with a small diamond in it from Tiffany’s. I think the necklace is like $375 and her dress is going to be around $200. To me, the necklace is a thank you – something she can wear all the time (its her style and its not bridesmaidy), plus its something she would never buy for herself. The dress is just for my wedding – that is really not a thank you gift at all IMO.
Now if buying the dress were a financial issue for her then that would be different, but she is financially comfortable so I don’ t think the dress purchase will be putting her out.
ETA: I am paying for her makeup though and my mother, who is a hairstylist, will be doing her hair.
Post # 15
Personally I would rather it be like this, I would never fork out the money for a diamond necklace though I would love to have one but I would willingly and happily fork out the money for a bridesmaid outfit. In this situation I get to stand up in a friends wedding for a price I expect and get a diamond necklace out of it too 🙂 win, win in my book.
Post # 16