Post # 1
A girl I work with (who is junior to me) asked to have a meeting with me next week. I believe she’s starting to see me as a mentor figure because I always help her and answer her questions. Anyway, she said the topic of the conversation is her career development and that she wants to know if she dresses appropriately for work. I have NO idea where this came from.
She is on contract and wants to get hired on, so perhaps she is concerned her clothes are standing in her way. The thing is, her clothes are not appropriate for work. She wears dresses that are way to short – when she sits down, her entire thigh is exposed. She often has cleavage showing too. I feel like she takes her “going out” dresses, adds tights, and thinks it’s okay for work.
No one wants to hear feedback like this and I am not her boss or HR. I don’t want to lie but I also don’t want to be mean for no reason. What would you do?
Post # 3
Given that she’s asking, I would be honest with her. Be as nice as you can of course.
If she wasn’t asking, I’d say to stay out of it.
Post # 4
If she’s asking straight up if she’s dressing appropriately, then you should be polite, but honest. Obviously no one would ever want to ask HR that!
Just tell her the best rule of thumb is that if you have to question wether you should wear something, then you probably shouldn’t.
Post # 5
@MrsPanda99: on one hand, I think that if she seeks you out and asks specifically what you think about her career clothes, you should be honest and tell her. She’s obviously questioning it and I think it could really benefit her if she knows that her clothing isn’t appropriate.
However, since you aren’t her boss or HR, I guess I would just worry that you telling her that she doesn’t dress appropriately could somehow be turned around on you and get you into trouble.
Post # 6
- Wedding: April 2013 - A court...
Yeesss. You don’t have to say it in a rude way just tell her maybe she could be a bit more professional looking by covering up some…
Post # 7
Phrase it as advice: “You should always dress for the position you want – replicate what your seniors wear” 😉
Post # 8
I think if you approach her privately (closed door, or when no other employees are around) and say it in the nicest way possible and even with a bit of humor, she should know.
If it were me, I would say (with a sincere smile) something like “I’m glad you value my opinion so I think if you wore things like longer skirts or button up shirts that covered up this area (while making motions over your chest!) you should be totally fine!”
Post # 9
@MrsPanda99: as others have said, if she’s specifically asking she already knows. She may need guidance on what would be appropriate. I just went to a group interview this week and was shocked by what some of the younger ladies were wearing. Putting a jacket over your clubbing dress doesn’t help the fact that I can almost see your vag.
Post # 10
- Wedding: August 2015 - Backyard Forest
I would, she obviously is asking for a reason. Somebody has probably said something to her.
Just be tactful, but honest – somebody needs to tell her what’s appropriate for work. Give some simple pointers and maybe some store suggestions.
Post # 11
- Wedding: June 2016 - Charleston, SC
If she’s coming to you asking if her clothing is appropriate or not, I’m sure she’s prepared to hear that she is, in fact, not dressing appropriately. She may already know and just need a final push to recognize it. I don’t think it’s a big deal to tell her to cover up more while being tactful and considerate of her feelings. Maybe try to think of outfits that she’s worn that are closer to appropriate and try to emphasize those styles? Just be polite about it and she should get the hint. If it were me, I wouldn’t mind be a little hurt for a minute and be told that I should change the way I dress in order to advance my career!
Post # 12
I would be honest with her since she is asking and obviously values your opinion.
Also, you can say it tactfully, like instead of saying “your dresses are too short” you can say “I think dresses look more professional when they are right at or 1 inch above the knee” something like that. Be proactive in your response instead of just sounding critcal.
Post # 13
@MrsPanda99: totally be honest. Also reflect her questions a bit and say well why do you think there is a problem with your clothes? Then hear her out and just tell her the truth.
Do the sandwhich of constructive critism
Compliment + then the negative + how to fix + something positive again
I think your an efficient worker and very professional with customers.
i do find that your professional attire could be improved upon.
I would suggest being more aware of and be more conservative about exposing your thighs and chest.
Agian you are doing a great job and I think you fit in well here…
Post # 14
I think if she has to ask if what she is wearing is inappropriate that deep down she knows that it is. She is asking for your honest opinion, so give it to her for sure.
Post # 15
@MrsPanda99: Hey lady! I would be honest but word it in the kindest way! “Although you look wonderful everyday I think you would benefit from dressing as your superiors wear. I personally have a few dress rules that I abide by. (you can then list things like: skirts must touch knee or go half an inch above kneww when sitting, shirts must show no cleavage and if they are low cut then there needs to be an undershirt that covers and does not slip, and ect.)”
Post # 16
Definitely be honest, but be constructive. Give examples of what she might want to try wearing instead. Don’t bash her dress choices so much as suggest better ones.