Post # 1
Hi everyone I’m a newbee 🙂 I’ve been a lurker for a while but finally decided to get active even though I’m still waiting.
My SO and I are in a temporary LDR while he’s in Amsterdam for 5 months. Last night when we were talking generally on Skype about our day etc he explained a situation he was in the previous night when he went out.
He went to a party thrown by a friend of his and decided to leave early with another friend. On the way back he saw a girl sat on the side of the road crying and surprised that no one else bothered to stop, he asked why she was crying and it turned out she was a British girl who had come to visit her Dutch boyfriend and they’d gone out. At some point during the night, the boyfriend had gotten into a fight and got arrested leaving her with no real knowledge of where she was or how to get back to his place. My SO offered her a place to stay for the night and she accepted. He locked her in his bedroom, slept in his flatmate’s room and her boyfriend came to get her in the morning.
When he told me what happened, I thought it was sweet he’d helped the girl especially as she was in a city with the reputation that Amsterdam has. However he then explained that the guy he was with told him his girlfriend (me) would kill him for letting a girl stay over. My SO told a female friend of his the next day about it and she said she’d be jealous if her SO did that which made SO nervous about telling me.
Being jealous didn’t even occur to me till he mentioned it so I guess my question is would you be jealous/annoyed?
I should probably also say that my feelings wouldn’t change, I’m just curious about what other ladies would think/feel.
Post # 3
@Chael: I wouldnt be jealous, but I would be concerned. Just because she is female doesnt mean she is safe to be around and isnt going to kill him or steal his stuff.
Post # 4
@kerensa: I wasn’t concerned because he’s much more security conscious than I am. Like I said, he locked her in his bedroom so she couldn’t leave without him knowing and so couldn’t rob him. There was a guy with him at all times as well (first his friend, then roommate)
Post # 5
@Chael: I wouldn’t be jealous. If my FH told me he left some other person stranded when he was in a position to help them, I’d be pretty upset with him.
Post # 6
@kerensa: that would be my concern too.
@Chael: yeah, she was locked in his room but i’m sure he has personal items in there that may hold some value. i can’t believe he “locked” her in his room where she couldn’t get out unless someone unlocked the door.
Post # 7
I wouldn’t be jealous, I would trust my SO’s version, especially if he told me on the phone the day after (maybe if I had learned this through some other friend and my SO would have hidden it from me, it would have drawn my suspicions), but no I would not feel jealous. I would wonder though, why she had followed 2 strangers to their hotels. If it happened to me I’d be terrified and I would have tried to go to the police station at least. Meaning, I would suspect the girl more than SO and his friend, hehe.
Post # 8
Nope, but I’m not a jealous person in general. I’d be more proud that he’d helped out someone in distress.
Post # 9
No jealousy. Concern about his safety yes and relief that it all worked out.
Post # 10
@Chael: Jealous definitely isn’t the right word. But I definitely be would uncomfortable with it, as he did not know this person that he offered to let stay in his home. She could have been dangerous or tried to pull something weird. Plus, it’s just odd to open your doors to a strange woman who may or may not be who she claims.
I also find it really creepy that he locked her in a room. Wtf.
That whole thing would give me the heebie jeebies.
Post # 11
It’s a little weird, but I think the odds are pretty low that he did something sexual with her, so I don’t think I’d be jealous as much as weirded out and possibly concerned for his sanity.
Post # 12
I’d find it a little weird too but not something to be jealous over.
Post # 13
I would find the whole thing totally inappropriate, including the locking of her in his room. He theoretically could have been accused of kidnapping! Not only that, I find it difficult to believe that he couldn’t have thought of another way to help without bringing her home with him.
Post # 14
I would definitely not be jealous, however, if I found out that DH didn’t help someone like that out I would be pretty upset. I think since he was able to lock her in his room it was fairly safe to allow her to stay there.
Post # 15
SO doesn’t tend to trust strangers as far as he can throw them so he apparently explained to her that he’d house her for the night on the condition that he could be guarantee she wouldn’t rob them, kill them and leave in the middle of the night and she agreed lol.
I thought it was sweet of him to help more than anything because I’ve also gone to visit SO and I know how utterly terrifying getting stranded without him would be and yes I was definitely relieved it worked out well both for him and the girl.
@NauticalDisaster: Haha it was their house not hotel but yeah, at first I wondered why she decided to trust them enough to go but I guess when you’re out of choices you become desperate.
Post # 16
@weddingmaven: lol you can’t kidnap the willing.