would you be mad if…

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
509 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

@elw728:  I can understand him not wanting to make the long drive on the same day as a red-eye flight (today). But I can also understand your point that it seems like he’s not prioritizing time with you. Can he come see you the NEXT weekend of his 12-day trip? That way, maybe he could leave on Friday afternoon and see you for the whole weekend?

Post # 4
Member
795 posts
Busy bee

Eh, men sometimes don’t think like us. Maybe he wanted his hair cut before seeing you, maybe he was even working on a surprise for you or something. Grab a glass of wine and relax, it’s definitely not worth a fight. 🙂 

Post # 5
Member
975 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Banff, Alberta

@elw728:  Hmmm I don’t see anything to be upset about! I can definately understand wanting to make the most of your time together. FH and I were long distance for 2 months and then another month later in the relationship. So I can understand being impatient but I don’t think he has done anything wrong.

Post # 6
Member
1298 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@elw728:  maybe he felt too tired to drive from FL to Atlanta safely but not tired enough to stay at home all day and sleep? Maybe his mom did all the driving while they were out doing errands? 

Post # 8
Member
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

is there a reason you couldn’t go there? long distance relationships are a two-way street. he shouldn’t be the only one traveling to you.

Post # 10
Member
5199 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

I understand what your feeling.  My DH and I are also long distance and I tend to feel slighted when he doesn’t prioritize seeing me – even though he flys up to see me every other weekend.  For example, he’ll fly into a neigboring town on Friday aftenroon (I have to work until the evening) and then they’ll prioritize hanging out with his buddies in town and not get up to my place until 9:00 pm.  It pisses me off, but I’ve come to realize that traveling takes a toll on you and he enjoys seeing his friends for a few hours.  

I’d try to let it go and enjoy your time together.  When you have a great day together, he’s going to be kicking himself that he didn’t come a day earlier.  That’ll do more to influence his behavior than you getting mad at him.

Keep in mind that he is driving 6 hours each way to see you.  It’s not like he’s making no effort.

Post # 11
Member
1332 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I understand why he doesn’t want to drive exhausted but couldn’t he leave earlier tomorrow and later Sunday? Leave at 8, get to Atlanta by 2-3pm and then leave around 2 Sunday and get back at 8-9pm. 

Post # 12
Member
1311 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 1994

I couldn’t be in a long distance relationship, or in a relationship where my spouse travels extensively. I would always feel neglected. I do think there needs to be balance, and maybe he needed some time to himself and take care of himself and see his family. But yeah, I would of been annoyed.

Post # 13
Member
1234 posts
Bumble bee

@elw728:  I do kind of think you’re overreacting. There are a lot of reasons he might not want to come immidiantly, as others have said, like not wanting to drive so long when he’s tired (and I’m sorry but there is adifference between a long, monotanous drive on the interstate where there is nothing to distract you and it’s easy to drift off, and driving around town where it’s not one long straight drive and therefore needs more attention), maybe his mom drive all day. Maybe he just wanted to spend time with his mom? You have valid points, and you should be his number one priority, but you aren’t his only one. Maybe he just wanted to spend a little extra time with her? I know runnig errands together doesn’t seem like spending quality time together, but it’s how my best friend and I do it. In fact, she just came over today and helped me fold, hang, and put away laundry for three hours. 

I would take a deep breath and make the most of the time you do have together. He’s not wrong, you’re not wrong, so don’t make a big fuss out of this. One day really isn’t a big deal in the grand scheme of things. You have the rest of your lives to spend togther- his mom, on the other hand, won’t be around forever. 

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