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Hi ladies,
My mom sent me a picture of the dress she is planning on wearing to my cousin's wedding next weekend. What do you think? I know I wouldn't have even noticed if someone wore that at our wedding, but I'm aware it's a sensitive issue, so what you you ladies think? Ok? Not ok? Ok with a brown pashmina? Thanks!
DRESS2.jpg (14.1 KB, 67 downloads) 2 years old DRESS.jpg (14.5 KB, 77 downloads) 2 years old 
The fact that she had to send you an email to ask your advice is enough.
I certainly would never wear it. IMO, I just never ever ever wear anything remotely white (the little bit of decoration in the corner isn't enough) and while I know that nobody will possibly think your mother is the bride, surely she has something else?
I would suggest she find something else. A brown pashmina helps, but i doubt she'll wear it all night. Still, because MOST guests are really sensitive to someone else wearing white to a wedding, you don't want anyone gossiping about your mom, do you?
It's close enough to questionable that I wouldn't wear it if I were her.
Even if she does have a brown pashmina, her dress is still pretty white with very little of the other colors. If that pattern were all over it, it'd be different.
I'd personally be a little put off if someone wore this... In my opinion, I think it's a little rude to wear anything that is a white or cream to a wedding.
It's a cute dress (creme-colored?)... And it's tea-length right? Cute little flower design on the bottom. I think it's totally fine, but others will disagree I'm sure.
I'd be totally fine with someone wearing this to my wedding... but your mom may want to change it if your cousin is a bridezilla, LOL! :)
@DDUBZ - I totally actually agree with you, I voted that it was fine. its just a little tea-length dress, nothing remotely bridal, its quite and quaint and I wish my FMIL would wear something that cute!
But I do agree, it can be a touchy subject so its uptimatly up to you, if you think its not appropriate then maybe she should change it. I think it would be super cute with the brown pashmina, stylin!
It doesn't seem like a big deal to some people, but on the other hand some people are REALLY sensitive about anyone wearing white (or cream, or off-white) to a wedding but the bride. IMHO it'd be safer for everyone to stick to other colors! If you have to ask, it's probably because you know SOMEbody might be offended.
I think the bottom part is fine, but I think the slinky, ivory, spaghetti-strap top is a bit inappropriate for a wedding -- and to be honest, I think it's not really age-appropriate dressing for a mom at all. I wouldn't be upset if someone wore it to my wedding, but (even if I were a guest at someone else's wedding) I'd think it looked a little bit desperate (especially on someone past their early twenties).
I think the dress would look pretty and be totally appropriate, though, if it was paired with a cute cardigan or a little jacket on top. If it's an outdoor daytime event, maybe just a little short-sleeved crocheted shrug in green or brown. If it's a super-formal evening affair, maybe something more like a sheer jacket.
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I just wanted to clarify that this is about MY mother, whom I love dearly. My mom is not desperate and is quite the tomboy so the dress doesn't fit as you may think it does. I guess my question was geared more toward the color and not the style, but thanks for your opinion.
I think that with the brown pashmina its fine (or a non-white cardigan). But! I know others may feel differently.
I think it depends, if it were a beach wedding and the bride herself was dress casually in a white dress I would maybe be slightly offended. But if not then I say it totaly fine.
I think its fine! If she's worried about it, could she ask the bride's mom - who I assume is her sister or SIL?
I think it's on the edge, but the brown pashmina would probably make it fine. I wore a cream dress to my future-sister-in-law's wedding and I'm still kicking myself for it. I didn't even think about it at the time. I hate seeing those pictures. So if she's comfortable wearing it, I think it's fine. But she doesn't want to be like me and regret it. I doubt the bride will even notice. :)
Wow, I definitely didn't mean to imply that your mother was desperate, or anything else about her character. My comments were only directed at the color and style of the dress. Obviously it's very difficult to assess the fit of the dress when it's on the hanger, not on the person.
My comment was only meant to answer your question -- I do think that, unless it was paired with a cardigan or non-white top, the color and style of the dress are inappropriate for a wedding. Sorry to have offended you.
I think it's fine. The only way I'd shy form it is if the wedding is casual enough that the bride is wearing a very siilar stylr wedding dress (even if floor length.) I just don't see this dress as taking any attention away from the bride. Your mom isn't even in any spot light. She's not a MOB or MOG.
While I disagree that spaghetti straps are out if you older than your early twenties, I would recommend a wrap or jacket for someone who's probably in her fifties. And by the time dancing starts, if she gets hot, or wants to lose the jacket, I think it would be fine by that point.
I voted no. I stand by the no mostly white/ivory/cream rule. I agree with whoever said that if the pattern was all over that it would be fine, but as it stands I vote no. It's super cute, though! She should wear it for a summer night on the town.
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With a brown pashmina I think it'd be fine, but also what color shoes would she wear with it? Def. not white!
I had a cousin (in her 30's) wear an all white lace gown that was close to floor length with white shoes to my wedding and honestly I wasn't upset by it because I know my cousin isn't very fashonable and rarely buys new clothes. I remember she wore the same thing to my college graduation party. However, I have to say it did kinda bother me in photos where you just saw her below the knees because the white dress and white shoes made it where someone could mistake her for the bride.
I voted no because I, personally, wouldn't be upset. However, I think having your mom ask the MOB, like hbowar said, or even asking the bride herself, would be a really nice gesture :)
I don't think I would even notice if someone wore this to my wedding, but hey, not everyone would feel the same way.
Tanya123, I think spaghetti straps are fine wayyy past the early twenties -- I just think they make this particular dress look more "bridal." I mentioned that age because I think that's about the age where I assume people start to become a little more conscious of etiquette "rules" (even arguably outdated ones, like wearing white to a wedding). If I see someone wearing a dress that seems a little questionable as a wedding (like I think the dress in the original post is -- hence the question about whether it's appropriate) my reaction is going to be a lot different if they're a teenager or young adult, than someone older. If it's someone really young, I think guests are a lot more likely to assume that she's not aware of the "rule." I wouldn't want guests at a wedding gossiping about my mom because they assumed she knew about an etiquette rule and flouted it anyway.
I wouldn't have a problem with someone wearing it to my wedding but I don't think that I would wear it to someone else's wedding.
I think if your mom is comfortable in it, that is the most important. I understand some people are uncomfortable with anyone else wearing white, and I tend to agree, but the dress appears to be a creme color, and if she added a wrap, I think it woul emphasize the color of the wrap more than the color of her dress. Ugh, I think it's a hard one and I'm over here straddling the fence.
I don't think this would even be a problem. It's more casual, and wouldn't compete with bridal look.
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I think it's super cute. My mom will probably wear cream or white to my wedding, and I'd never even question it. If it looks good on her I'd say go for it. Especially with the brown pashima. No one's going to mistake your mom for the bride, and if the style of the wedding is in line with the style of the dress I'd say it's no problem.
If your mom's worried about offending anyone though, maybe she should ask the bride. When I considered wearing a white dress (though definitely not weddingy) to a friend's wedding last year, I asked the bride outright if it would bother her. She appreciated my asking.
White. Ivory. Cream. Either way, never ever ever ever as a guest to a wedding!! White and shades of should be reserved for the bride only out of respect.
But cute dress, none the less! Better suited for a baby shower, sunday brunch, etc.
I wouldn't care. I think it's a lovely dress. I'm more worried that my family is going to show up in shorts or t-shirts or something, so a dress like that wouldn't bother me in the least.
I think it's super cute (and age-appropriate)! But if I were her, I'd try to make sure I was wearing the wrap in any close-up photos just to be on the safe side. When you see her in person, it will be completely obvious it's not a wedding dress, but photos from just the waist up might not be as easy to tell at a glance.
But like budgetbeautiful, I was a lot more concerned by the abundance of fleece and blue jeans at my wedding than people wearing a slightly off-colored cute dress :-)
If there is any question in your mind about the color being inappropriate, that should be a signal that others may feel the same way. It all depends on the formality of the wedding and how traditional the bride and bridal party are - I know some brides who have dressed all of their attendants in white, so clearly guests arriving in white or cream wouldn't be breaking the "rules'.
I would ask someone close to the bride if it would be okay, and be sure to show the photo.
paigely.jpg (118.5 KB, 52 downloads) 1 year old 
I think it is fine. I would not have noticed if someone was wearing this at my wedding. It's cute - that's what matters!
Isn't that dress a pale yellow??? What's wrong with pale yellow at a wedding? I think it' a perfect dress for a spring or summer wedding - esp. with a brown pashmmina.
No one will mistake her for a bride - or that's she's "desperate" for that matter. I know that everyone has different comfort levels when it comes to showing skin, but I personally think that spaghetti straps are just fine (so long as your bra straps aren't showing). :)
I would not care if a guest wore a dress like that to my wedding. Frankly, as long as people have clothes on, or someone does not wear my wedding dress to my own wedding, I could give a crap what people wear!
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Now that I think about it (actually, only realized it from looking at pictures AFTER the wedding), one of my friends changed into this gauzy, cream dress for the reception & I didn't even notice! The pics look GREAT, though!
Personally I would not give a fig if someone wore this to my wedding. I just don't care about such things in the least. Someone could wear a full-on bridal gown and I probably wouldn't even notice.
That being said, I probably wouldn't wear this as a guest at a wedding, because I know there are some crazy girls out there who freak out at the slightest bit of white.
I guess it depends on answers to the questions including (but not limited to):
1. Would the bride care?
2. Would photos look weird if your mom in the dress has her photo taken with the bride?
3. Is this your mom's top choice?
4. Does ur mom care about what other guests may think?
Answers may depend on the bride's dress, which the bride may or may not want to divulge to ur mom for the sake of secrecy. Answers to 4 is also hard to answer 'cuz the conflict is between what we wanna do versus public opinion...
I'm experiencing a similar problem (w/ my own mom). I personally don't care although my sis insists that my mom gets another dress. My mom is lazy to go shopping again but also cares for public opinion...so I will be following this thread... or post my dilemma in the near future once I get a pic of my mom's dress.
My mom actually wore a strapless light gold/champagne floor length dress to my sister's wedding and I didn't think anything of it (and I don't know of any guests who did...)
I know that *I* personally wouldn't be upset. I think you've gotten some good tips from the other bees though... we have no way of knowing if this would upset the bride. If she's at all hesitant, I would go with something else. Usually going with your gut is the best in situations like these...
I don't think I would be mad; maybe a pashmina or brown cardigan would help. If there's any doubt though, it might be good to play it safe and choose a different dress.
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I think it's fine. Someone wore an all white summer dress to my wedding and I didn't give a hoot! You could still tell I'm the bride. :)
I would say not to wear - the bride probably won't even notice or care, but you don't want other guests to gossip about her wearing white/cream.
I'd be pissed if someone wore this to my wedding because I'm wearing an off-white tea length dress. I'm a firm believer that white/cream is reserved for the bride, everyone else should be in another colour.
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