Weddingbee boards

I'm a BM in my cousin's wedding on 10/10/10. I go through cycles where I let my hair grow long, then I do a drastic cut, and start the process all over again.  Well, I've been letting my hair grow for about 2 years, and I'm just sick of it. I want to cut it really short, around/above my chin.  Obviously if I do that, I won't be able to get an updo, and I'd probably just end up doing my hair myself rather than get it done professionally.  I'm slightly scared to ask my cousin about it because I feel like if she says that she'd rather have me keep my hair long for an updo, then I have to wait another 3 months to cut it. ugh. So I'm considering just doing it and telling her after the fact and hoping she doesn't care, but I don't want to seem so scheming.

So what do you think? Would you care?  My hair is about 5 inches longer than it is in my avatar picture, and I want to cut it about this short:

Soooo... confession.  I would be mad and AM mad.  LOL  I know, bad bride, bad bride.

My MOH (who is in the military) made a big production about how she wouldn't cut her hair before my wedding - I never said anything to her about it.  She took it upon herself to promise me she would suffer and wear a bun...  and then without saying anything in advance, whacked it off into what I find to be a really unflattering haircut.  I hate the cut on her; its seriously short and she has never had short hair like that.  She did it for ease while she was in officer basic training - which I get - but still...  I thought it was a little rude.

My immediate reaction was to be seriously pissed although I've not said anything to her about it.  She knows I'm mad, I know she doesn't give a sh*t what I think.  And my being mad is less about her hair and more about the fact that she couldn't care less - not jsut about hair but about many things wedding related up to now.

So back to you - Have you had your hair that short before? 

@christalynn11: I have had my hair that short, but not in recent years.  The past 5ish years I've kept it at least to my shoulder, but usually with a similar cut to the picture I posted.

Has she specifically said she wants everyone to get an updo? Has hair even been discussed? If it hasn't, I say go for it. My MOH has a more extreme version of the haircut youre getting (its super short in the back) but I would never dictate that she has to grow it out. But I'm much more lax about my BMs, I just want them to feel comfortable.

@Boston Bee:  Well... I'd say you should at least give her the courtesy of telling her.  If you've had the cut before then it's not an unknown for her (in my case, MOH cut it 4 or 5 inches shorter than I'd ever seen it and I've known her since we were 6).  DId you see @hotchild's post about her PWC?  My MOH is this short too.

http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/extreme-post-wedding-chop-before-and-after

Honestly, I'd ask your cousin.  Three months isn't forever, and wouldn't you want the same kind of courtesy if it were your wedding?

OH and regarding the not telling her and that feeling kind of sneaky?  In my opinion, it is.  That sneaky-ness is what made me most upset with my MOH.

I think it's ridiculous to even have to ASK if you should have to worry about someone else being upset about YOUR hair. I guess I am different, cause I really don't care how the girls do their hair a couple will have it up and then another girl is doing her's down. I just want them to be comfortable! Besides their hair isn't why I chose them to be BMs! 

Also I think that cut is SUPER cute and if you do it you have to post a pic!! :)

Seriously?  The only obligation a BM has is to show up on time and in the right dress.  I really take issue with brides that start dictating everything else.  NO ONE will notice what the BM's hair looks like.  It seems wildly self-centered to believe that your BM's should stop living their lives (dying and cutting their hair as they see fit, for example) simply because they're going to be in your wedding.  A bride's wedding is only the center of the universe to her...for everyone else, life goes on as before.  I say, cut your hair however you like and enjoy it!

I am not requiring my BMs to have their hair done in a certain way, and I really do not think it is up to me to dictate what they do with their hair.  As long as it isn't some crazy color or obviously bizarre cut, I would just go with it.

The pic of what you are thinking about doing with your hair is really nice, and not at all a strange cut, so I think you would be fine with getting it done like that.  You could always ask (or just let her know) before you cut it, just to reduce the shock of it if she has a specific hairstyle in mind.  Then you can at least get a read on her before you do it.  Send an email or something with that pic and say how much you like it and are thinking about cutting it like that and does she think it will look good on you.  You are then asking her opinion without really saying "I am doing it and I don't care what you think!" which I think is more likely to be the problem here than the actual cut itself. 

I think its best when people look like themselves! If you have 5 bridesmaids all in the same hair, same makeup same dress, same shoes i think it is too much! I am letting my bridesmaids have the option of doing their hair and makeup and doing what they want. I have some girls with long hair and some with short but it is what makes them individual. Cut your hair if you want to! It's a really cute cut! 

I would have to seriously reconsider a friendship if someone thought they had a say in how long my hair is. If it will just ruin her vision if you have short hair she can pay for some darn extensions, but I'd still be fairly miffed.

Thanks ladies! I'm going to cut it once I get back home in a few weeks!  I am going to shoot my cousin an email and let her know, but I'm not going to ask her permission.  She's having hair stylists come to the hotel where she's getting married to do her hair and any of the BMs who wanted their hair professionally done.  She said we could do our own hair if we wanted to, and she hasn't indicated that she has a preference of hair styles.  So I'll just do my own hair while any of the other girls are getting their hair styled. Thanks again!

I wouldn't be mad at all. It is your hair, do what you want with it. :)