Post # 1
I have been planning my wedding for 2 years now… mainly collecting small things but thankfully havent put any deposits down because my future sister-in-law got engaged in April and decided to have her wedding the weekend before mine at the same place as me!! Does any one else think this is wrong?? I am really hurt!!
***She was well aware of my engagement and the date and place of our wedding… I have decided to change my wedding to a whole year later but that sucks because I have been engaged for 1 1/2 years already and she just got engaged 4 months ago!! And regagrding comment #6 … My fiance works weekends so that was a big thing that made me upset too!! How does she expect her brother to get 2 weekends in a row off along with our honeymoon?!?! Its just really upsetting and I needed to vent!!
*** We were engaged in july 2007 but decided to do our wedding 04/10/2010 because 04/10 was our original anniversary… so I had centerpieces decor bridesmaid gifts…all the ittle stuff and had just started talking to local caterers and this happened!! I found this out 6 weeks ago and still didnt know what I wanted to do until this last week. I just put everything on hold.
*** The place we were planning on getting married at was my fiances moms house she owns 11 acres in the country… sooo… no actual deposit or booking was needed for the venue
Post # 3
Hi! I’m assuming you’re engaged and the date is set? Did your FSIL know that’s where you wanted to get married? I’m sorry she stole your thunder..
Post # 4
I would be really hurt too and super pissed!! I can kind of relate as I got engaged first and FSIL saw my ring (didn’t even congratulate me) and then her BF gave her the same ring when he proposed!! I will admit I was (and still am) furious!!
Post # 5
Oh yah, I would be upset. For sure. Can you have your fiance talk to her? I think it would be best if he was the one communicating in this sticky situation. Obviously, you two can’t have weddings on back to back weekends. You were engaged first, you should get to choose your date first.
Post # 6
Assuming she knew the date and location of your wedding, it’s TOTALLY wrong what she did. You could be the bigger person and just let it go, OR (since you don’t have any deposits down) change the date and book your wedding the week before hers.
Either way, I’d keep any future wedding plans under wraps.
Post # 7
The other thing that’s notable about her decision is that assuming she takes a standard honeymoon, doesn’t that mean she won’t be able to go to her brother’s wedding? That’s pretty rude.
Post # 8
EW I’d be soooooo pissed. If she knew the deets on your wedding, she needs to change her date AND her venue. That is beyond rude. If she didn’t know then you still might try to have a conversation with her about changing her plans, but if she’s got deposits down and you don’t you’re pretty much forced to change your plans, which really sucks but if you don’t have anything actually reserved and she does then, sadly, she’s got the upper hand in the situation.
Post # 9
im confused-you said you hadnt put deposits down after two years, but she booked the weekend before and the place?? were you penciled in there or something?
Post # 10
I am also a bit confused too. You didn’t book the venue yet?
I agree that it totally sucks that she did what she did… BUT….
#1 – if you didn’t book it, then sorry, but it’s up for grabs
#2 – as they say in SATC – you get a DAY, not a year, not a month, not a week. A DAY.
That being said, I would be pissed too. I can’t imagine things will be all that friendly between the two of you, but at least she didn’t snag your actual day. I would keep all future plans under wraps
Post # 11
WOW – That’s just a bitchy ass thing for her to do. Even if it wasnt consecutive weekends, I would be pissed if someone had the same venue as me within the same family. However, she is your sister in law, so it’s not like you share the same family – however, his family will be going to the same place twice.
That’s just F-D UP! Have you talked to her about it – how did your fiancees mom not see a problem with offering the house to her the weekend before yours – I get its her daughter, but didnt she know you were having it there? And FSIL knew as well?
If I were you b/c I would be super pissed and thinking people would be bored of the venue after already attending a wedding there the weekend before – I would look for another venue or confront her about it (although i doubt she’ll change b/c its her mom’s house) however its your fiancees mom’s house and its his wedding and thats her son – so he has the same right.
Not cool at all.
Post # 12
What does FI’s mother say about all of this?
Post # 13
Flaimingred- good point! Why is FI’s mom allowing this? Sounds like you had everything set, and she should be at least slightly concerned about your feelings!
Post # 14
Same place, one week earlier? So not okay.
Post # 15
Your FSIL is totally in the wrong. I would NEVER do that to a family member, or even a friend. I understand that brides don’t get a week, or a month … they get a day, but honestly, when much of the same family is involved, the polite thing to do would have been to one, let you have your wedding first, and two, either have her wedding at the same location several months later, or pick a different venue for a wedding a few months after yours.
I’m sorry, hun. That’s really awful.
Post # 16
It is a LOT of work to host a wedding at your home, and I can’t understand why anyone would want to do that two weekends in a row.
The only thing I can imagine happening is that since you switched the date and did not book any of the vendors for the new date, perhaps your MIL did not think you were certain about the new date. Even if that is what she was thinking, she absolutely should have called you to check the status of your plans when her daughter decided to have a similar wedding.
What does your FI think about all of this? Since it is his family that is behaving very insensitively, it really should be his responsibility to talk to them to see what is happening if he agrees with you.