Would you be miffed?

posted 2 years ago in Gifts and Registries
  • poll: Would you be upset?
    Yes, she should have got at least a small gift : (11 votes)
    18 %
    Yes, she should have got at least a card : (35 votes)
    58 %
    No, you're being unreasonable: she doesn't need to get you a gift OR card : (14 votes)
    23 %
    Obligatory 'other' : (0 votes)
  • Post # 2
    Member
    4834 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    My SIL (who was a bridesmaid), MIL and FIL didn’t get us any gifts. They didn’t contribute to the wedding, and we paid $200 a plate for them. Oh well, you can’t say anything.

    Post # 3
    Member
    1362 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley

    Depends on which of my bridesmaids, really.  Did she get you anything for your shower (if you had one)?  

    Could it be she is the type of person who just didn’t know that it would be polite to – at the very least – show up with a card?  I know some of my friends just don’t know any better… lol.

     

    Post # 5
    Member
    8071 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2015

    You have up to a year to send a wedding gift so no I would not be miffed. Last time I was a BM you better believe I sent a gift a few months later- between spending a year as a brideslave, buying a BM dress, shower gift and hosting a shower,  hotel room, and a cool $500 bachelorette night- spending another hundred or two was not my priority wedding weekend. She knows etiquette – so this did not “miff” her.

    I find it so appalling and ungrateful all your focus after the wedding is on the one person who didnt get you anything the day of. Even though she had already done so much for you as a BM, even though standard ettiquette says you have a year, even though you got gifts from every single other guest… This is what you’re focused on. Ick.

     

    Post # 8
    Member
    8071 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2015

    barbie86:  well I guess it is different if she hadnt payed 1000+ for your wedding happiness over the last year. Maybe she will come through in time, but either way I would still focus on allllll the other guests who gave generously, rather then the one immature BM who disappointed you. 

     

    Post # 10
    Member
    245 posts
    Helper bee

     

    barbie86:  UK bee here too, I don’t think you’re being unreasonable, I’m sorry but the whole ‘you have a year to send a gift’ is a rubbish excuse when it comes to one of your BEST friends & bridesmaid who you’ve clearly been very generous to, that aside, I could accept no gift but no card is actually worse in my opinion, that’s the part that takes the least effort and is the most personal! There’s not much you can do without ruining the friendship to be honest, but no, she sounds pretty self centred & I would never not even gift a simple card to a close friend who had asked me to be part of their wedding and spent a lot of money on me.

    Post # 11
    Member
    354 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    barbie86:  I totally understand, that’s a crazy amount of money on her bridesmaid dress alone so id be a bit miffed, but id probably let it go. Yous have been friends for 23 years, you have to ask yourself if you brought this up or held onto it, it would inevitably tarnish your friendship? Is it worth it? 

    Did she help out in other ways/a generally good bridesmaid? My sister & cousin are my MOH & bridesmaid & I’ve bought there dresses & accessories, however if they didn’t get me a present that would be fine as they’ve helped & been so supportive. 

    Also like the pp said maybe it’s best just to focus on all the lovely gifts other guests gave you & how wonderful your day & new husband are 🙂 x

    Post # 14
    Member
    1629 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014 - Church

    barbie86:  I would be miffed about not being given a card … Sulk for a day or whatever and then let it go. There is no use harping on it.

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