Post # 1
If your uncle asked you what your FI did for a living right after looking at your ring?? My FI and I have been together for over 5 years and he has been at almost every family party/event and his career has come up in conversation. Not only did he ask that but after, he goes is it appraised?? and when I said yeah I got it insured, he actually asked how much it cost! When I told my mom she didnt think it was a big deal, is it just me or is this rude?
Post # 3
100% rude! No one in my extended family has asked the cost of my e-ring. All they said was how beautiful of a job my fiance did in picking out my ring all by himself.
Post # 4
I don’t think I’d be offended-he obviously thinks you have a very valuable ring…take it as a compliment. I think it’s odd he thought they were “ok” questions to ask, but sometimes guys are dumb!
Post # 5
I’d be so livid!! That is so rude of him! It’s one of those big no,no’s to ask the price of an engagement ring, I think it’s up there with asking someone how much their salary is!
I think it’s also the fact that he hasn’t asked him beforehand. It’s one of those things you should do when you first meet someone, and if you haven’t seen them for a while ask them if they’re still in the same job.
You’ll find that a lot of people are really rude and blunt about rings. The same thing happened to me with a “friend” asking me the price. I told her I didn’t know (I don’t know the exact price he paid, but I have an idea) and I asked her why it matters. She also asked in a sneakier way another time, asking the clarity, carat size, weight of the gold, jeweler etc. SO OBVIOUS haha She also started telling me about her ring (she wasn’t even engaged, in a serious relationship, and the ring didn’t exist) and about how her mother was buying her a 3 carat engagement ring with 24k gold blah blah bullshit blah.
Don’t worry about your uncle. He might just be insecure/jealous/rude. Maybe he has some serious ring envy going on!
Post # 6
Nope. Wouldn’t bother me at all.
Post # 7
I wouldn’t want to tell someone how much my ring was but it wouldn’t really offend me if a family member asked that question after looking at my ring.
Post # 8
I would def be offended. What was he trying to say? Totally ridiculous questions IMHO.
Post # 9
@mishagirls79: At first I thought it might have been since my FI wasnt with me, and he wasnt able to say that but Im not too sure now.
@WhatMaeBee: thats what my FI said, but he also started telling me how once im married Ill have bills to pay etc (not like I didnt know that) He even stated how much I should be paying per person at my reception!
@MissMfutureMrsB: omg I think I would have said something if he started asking about clarity and color etc, that would just take it over the top. I couldnt tell if he was envying it or trying to state it wasnt good enough. He was one of the last of my moms siblings to get married just a few years ago so maybe thats why?? Im curious to see what he’ll say to my FI or me again come christmas eve and day.
@star_dust: @bunnyharriet: I actually dont know if I should be offended or take it as a compliment. I used to be really close with him, I grew up with him living upstairs from my parents house but once he met his now wife and moved out he seems to treat me differently. Idk maybe he just wanted to make sure Ill be financially stable??
Im just praying theres no more questions come christmas infront of my WHOLE family!
Post # 10
It wouldn’t bother me as I wouldn’t feel obligated to answer the question. I would probably say something like ” we’ll now, that isn’t any of your business.” i would then move on to speak with someone else. Just because someone has the nerve to ask doesn’t mean you have to supply an answer.
Post # 11
@TwilightBlue: thats true.. I actually was in shock he asked ( we were at my grandmas painting christmas cookies just me, my grandma, him, 2 of my cousins and my sister) I didnt answer, I paused and was like umm I dont know, and then of course my sister jumps in ” I do!! I saw the paper it was X$” way to go lol
Post # 12
I wouldn’t be offended by asking what fh does for a living, but would be very taken back by asking the value of any piece of jewelry, not just my ering. What fh spends on me or anything else for that matter, is no concern to anyone else. I would respond with, it doesn’t concern me what the appraisal of it is, I am just thrilled to be his girl 😉
Post # 13
In my case, I actually was the one who had to figure out how much he spent and when I discovered the cost, the first thought was insuring it and where he got the money. We’ve been together for years and I’m familiar with his income. I asked and he told me his parents helped to get the ring and he was paying them back in smaller payments. I was glad to hear that 1. He didn’t just shell out a ton of money and 2. this was a blessing from his parents that they were 100% supporting our marriage.
But this is as far as the question about cost really needed to go. No one else needs to know the cost or anything more than how much you love it. Some people just don’t know boundaries.
Post # 14
Whether he meant it as “damn, that’s a huge rock” or “why is it so cheap?” it’s still kinda rude for him to ask about that stuff, especially how much the cost. To me, it’s like asking a woman her age or what she weighs- you just don’t do it. Not only that, but it is absolutely none of his business- and I’d have probably told him that instead of answering any of his questions. But maybe I’m just a little irritable right now.
Post # 15
I’d be offended, but it sounds like your uncle was just curious, and thought being honest would have been a compliment or a kudos to your FI. Unless he said all of that sneeringly.
Post # 16
@bella731: Is your ring quite large? If it is on the bigger side, I would take it as a compliment. Yeah it’s not the best way to word a compliment, but maybe that’s what he was aiming for.
If it’s on the small side then yes I would think it was a very rude comment and even a “clueless male” should know better.