Would you be offended?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
720 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

It’s definitely a rude comment..maybe she was joking? That sounds like a joke a friend of mine would make, but it’s always hard to tell via text.

Post # 4
230 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

I don’t know that I would be too offended, maybe it has something to do WITH your gift, I don’t know how that would work, but maybe like you need an open bar for the type of gift it is… I really don’t know. I would ask what she means by that?

Post # 5
957 posts
Busy bee

She was probably joking, although it’s not a very good joke. I would try to forget about it. Some people have no class.

Post # 6
42101 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Razzmatazz:  It was a poor choice on her part to say that, much less put it in writing.

Rather than get my knickers in a knot, I would try to take the high road and assume that it might be a budget issue for them. If they have to budget money to buy drinks at your wedding, they may very well only be able to afford a less expensive  gift.

Post # 7
3828 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Rude ass comment. 

That being said, my DH totally reduced the cash gift we gave when he realized it was a cash bar at a friends wedding.  I didn’t want to, but he was annoyed. 

Post # 8
2973 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

If your FH is close to his cousin, she was probably joking. 

You have no idea the bullshit we’ve had to hear while planning this wedding. If someone had said that to us, I (wish) would respond with “Sorry you’re having financial issues. However, you’re assuming you’re invited”. 

Post # 9
9859 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Razzmatazz:  COMPLETELY Rude.  I understand her theory ‘open bar = better gift because you’re a ‘better’ host/ess’ but SERIOUSLY.  Some people are just ridiculous.  I wouldn’t be a happy camper at all.

Post # 10
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Razzmatazz:  I am literally kneeling down in prayer that she’s surprising you with a martini luge or something.

Something that actually requires you to have an open bar at the wedding.

And that you’re not getting a “limited” gift for (possibly!) having a “limited” bar!

Post # 11
8847 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

@julies1949:  +1

Maybe they can’t afford quite the same level of gift if they’re going to spend $50 on booze at the reception…  Still rude to SAY it out loud though!

Post # 12
1822 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall

Could it be that they are planning to get you some sort of alcohol as a gift? Fancy bottle of [whatever] – and would feel silly bringing that to an open-bar thing?

Might be stretching it. 

Post # 13
2878 posts
Sugar bee

@Razzmatazz:  Wow, I would be offended yes. I mean, when I go to a wedding it’s because I want to celebrate with the couple first. If I don’t have money to buy myself 3 drinks then I’ll just buy 1 and it will be fine. It would not affect the gift, it would affect how much alcohol I would drink. I hope she was joking …

Post # 14
2565 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I think a lot of people think like this about cash bars, but you never say it to the couple!  At least you won’t be having a wedding with a cash bar where people open up their gift envelopes for the couple to get money for the bar since they didn’t bring cash.

Post # 15
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

It was rude, but it sounds like it was a joke.  I think you are very offended because you are sensitive that you might not be having an open bar. 

That being said, if I go to a dry wedding in the afternoon, the gift I give would be different than what I would give at a black tie event. 

Post # 16
811 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

That is odd…my only thing with a cash bar is telling people ahead of time so they can bring cash.  We went to one recently, realized it was cash and had like $7 between the two of us, and no ATM on site.  ARghh!

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