Would you be offended…

posted 3 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 2
Member
42522 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

katem73:  If I were invited to attend the wedding, and expected to witness the ceremony, only to find that it had already occurred, I would be annoyed.

If you only want people to attend the after events, their invitation should be worded to be clear that they are not invited to the ceremony.

If my invitation is clear that I am invited to the breakfast and reception only, and I choose to attend, there is no room for offense.

Post # 3
Member
8425 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

katem73:  I personally never mind missing a ceremony (US bee), as long as I’m invited for the food part I’m happy.  I’m assuming you’re in the UK and from what I’ve heard tiered weddings are pretty common there, so I doubt anyone would really be offended.  Of course, only you know your guests and how important the ceremony might be to them.

Post # 4
Member
116 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Not necessarily all 70 guests will show up anyways and is it possible to just have standing room behind the chairs or along the sides of the room, or will the hall not allow that?

Post # 6
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

I wouldn’t be offended. Of course, as Julies pointed out above, not knowing ahead of time would feel really weird, but I’d get over it if you bought me a beer, 😉

Post # 7
Member
889 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Here in Germany it’s quite normal to invite the “inner circle” to the ceremony and more people to the reception. 

I would make this clear though in the invitation. I’dbe more excited about witnessing the actual becoming husband and wife, first kiss, tears rolling etc so if I thought that was happening only to find out nope i wouldn’t be that thrilled. 

Post # 8
Hostess
15072 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’ve been invited to plenty of reception only events but usually it is considered bad form. I went to these as there were discussions with either grimes or brides beforehand and expected the reception only invites because I was aware of their reasoning. Since its a small wedding, if I were you, I would reach out to those you choose to invite just to the reception and let them know what’s going on. I’m sure most will be fine with it. 

Post # 10
Member
11740 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Yes, I would be annoyed.  If the invitation spelled out that I was specifically not invited to the ceremony, I would be more annoyed.  To me, witnessing the ceremony is the important part of a wedding, and I would likely decline the invitation and not attend the reception portions.

Post # 11
Hostess
22135 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2011

katem73:  I wouldn’t necessarily be offended — many brides choose to have intimate ceremonies with larger receptions for one reason or another (though usually not held in the same venue/on same date) — but I’d be disappointed because I’d want to see the ceremony.

Post # 12
Member
3598 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Why’d you invite more people than the room can hold?

Post # 13
Member
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Maybe you’ll get lucky and it won’t be an issue.  We invited 80 and only a little over 40 were able to attend.

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