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Of course not. Everyone has a right to have a relationship with anyone they choose, regardless of sex. If your guests are too bigoted to understand that, too bad.
Most younger people know at least one gay person or more. I don't think people will be offended. It sucks that they won't be able to show affection in public but as you said, it's not like they are in a relationship. He's travelling quite a ways to come for your wedding. I'm sure he will have fun. As per your qestion, I won't have a problem with it.
of course i wouldnt mind.
i have a ton of gay friends and we will be having 3 gay couples attending our wedding. if someone has a problem with them, they can take it up with me---i will unleash my inner bridezilla on them, and then they can leave our wedding.
but thats just me :)
I wouldn't be offended at all. I'm actually surprised you asked this :)
I agree with Statutory Grape. I wouldn't think twice about it. For me it's a celebration and your day. Everyone should be able to a have a good time.
No way would I be offended. I probably wouldn't even notice, because it's not a big deal.
I actually have a similar problem. One of my oldest friends is a gay man, and he and his husband will be attending our wedding. Some of the boy's family members are fairly homophobic as well. I'm not worried that they'll be offended (if they are, I don't care), but I'm a tiny bit worried that they will do something to offend my friends. They're polite people so I'm not worried that they'll make a scene, but I'm hoping that they don't make any remarks that my friends or anyone else will hear.
I know that the guy who was invited was gay, but since this isn't his partner you shouldn't even mention that he's gay. You should just leave it at there being two good guy friends.
And no, I don't think most people care.
It's just 2 guys coming together, not a big deal at all. I don't think anyone would be offended at all. If they are, who cares? Clearly they have their own issues if they feel the need to comment about other guests.
Don't even worry yourself about this.
No, I wouldn't be offended it all. And if there are people who are offended, then that's their own ignorance.
not at all. what's more, think about how many girls bring other girls as their dates to weddings. it shouldn't be weird if a guy, gay or straight, brought a male friend.
Nope. I would not be offended. I dont think that anyone has any business being offended.
@kate169: I agree. If they are offended, it is their own problem. It is a day to celebrate you and your fiance.
Wouldn't bother me. If they aren't affectionate then people will just think think they are friends. Older peple have a difficult time dealing with this type of thing, but as long as the two aren't making out then I don't think anyone will notice. The majority of your guest probably wouldn't care and the other's will be oblivious. Besides, the attention will be on you, not what your guests are doing.
I would definitely not be offended! People who are offended probably won't say anything to you on your wedding day, and if they grumble about it afterwards I would politely suggest that they keep those opinions to themselves.
it's sad that this question even has to be asked. by no means am i criticizing the OP, but it's just sad that our country is in a state where someone even has to think about this. People should be allowed to date or not date whomever they chose.
so no, I would not be offended in the slightest. and anyone who would....well, that's their problem.
I agree with everyone who said it's absolutely not offensive.
I would be much, much more offended with another guest having a problem with it.
I wouldn't be offended AT ALL, and, personally, I wouldn't cater to anyone's homophobia, father of the groom or not.
No, I would not be offended at all....and I do not agree with same sex marriage/relationships. But, I also don't agree with drinking alcohol, pre-marital sex, the right to choose and a whole lot of other things that seem to be with the norm in society. So, either I'm not easily offended or.....I respect the fact that like I get to make choices in my life, others have that right too.
It's absolutely, totally okay. I hope your friend and his guest have fun!
Not at all. But I can understand wanting to think about your FFIL's feelings. I seriously doubt it will be a problem though, no one will even have time to react the wedding will go by so fast!
I agree - I definitely wouldn't be offended whatsoever, and most likely most people in our generation wouldn't be - we did, after all, grow up in the era of Will & Grace lol.
But older generations may not deal as well with this and those in the South may not deal as well (I'm a Southern gal myself and proud of it, but I will be the first to admit that those in the South are not well known for their open-mindedness). If you're worried people will be offended, there's a good chance they won't even notice or realize - how big is your wedding?
absolutely not! anyone who is offended can deal with it or leave! i agree with everyone here!
I agree with everyone here. I absolutely would not have a problem with it.
However, if you are trying to gauge whether or not any of your wedding guests might have issues with it I think you are asking the wrong people. I don't personally know of any female under the age of 50 (maybe 60?) or so that would be offended. Those that would find it offensive tend to be older and male. I don't get why it seems to be more of an issue with guys, but in my experience anyway, it is. Whether or not you want their issues to influence your decision is up to you...but I'm hoping you won't.
That said, your friend and his date aren't romantically involved. They are coming as platonic friends. I don't see how anyone could have a problem with that.
Thanks, Bees! I just wanted to make sure that I am not uber liberal or anything :-)
@qui40067: It's not a large wedding, 110 people. We both come from large families and of the 110 people, only 6 are not relatives (or spouses of relatives) so that made me think that they might attract attention or stand out a little bit.
@missbuffalo: Both of them are a bit effeminate and have lived an "out & proud" lifestyle for pretty much their entire adulthoods (we are all around 40 years old). It will probably be obvious to most people that they are gay from some of their mannerisms (and the fact that they will be perfectly coiffed and coordinated - LOL!)
I am of the same mindest that if anyone has a problem it is their problem, but not being overly familiar with southerners, I got a little nervous as sometimes they are depicted as less tolerant than others of some things.
Thanks again!
Offended by what, that you allowed him to bring a +1 whom you're barely acquainted with?
;)
Not a bit!
One of our BMs is a lesbian, and I'm kind of sad that her girlfriend can't get time off work to come with her to the wedding, because I was totally ready to tell off a few older people who I can see having a problem with it. Now unless one of our other gay friends brings a date (and none of them are in relationships, haha), I won't have a chance to use my prepared speech :)
I shot a wedding once where I didn't even realize two of the guests were "together" until the end! They danced with women most the night or sat and talked. Didn't even click until a "couples" dance (you know the "who has been together longest dance") came on. It took me by surprise at first, just because dudes dance together for fun too... so I just figured it was guys being guys.... While I'm personally not a supporter of gay marriage (which has been discussed at length on the boards so I expect to NOT be flamed for saying that) I am a huge supporter of human dignity and respect. I took pictures of them like the other guests around them, and when they asked specifically for a picture I could tell one was a little nervous about it. I smiled, said sure, they got together, snap. The end. This was a few years ago too...
I may even have a lesbian at my wedding of which about 75% of the guests do not support gay marriage. She's from England though, she's not in a relationship and will be coming alone to see all our mutual "girl friends" from college, many of whom are also single and coming alone. So, To me, it's just "my friend" not "my friend a lesbian." If people have an issue with her being present they can speak to me. (I doubt anyone would even realize however, especially as she's not bringing a date if she can make it.)
There's a HUGE difference between not supporting and being rude or un-charitable. I would hope your guests have enough sense in them to not say anything or act rudely. Especially considering they won't be all romantic on top of each other, I would honestly not care and don't foresee it being a problem... there's a time and a place for proper charitable "debates" on hot button topics, and a wedding is def. not one of them ;-)
If anyone if offended by gay men being gay men, that is their problem! Let your friends have fun! Anything that is accepted of a hetero couple should be accepted of a gay couple.
No matter what their personal beliefs, I would trust that your family and your FI's family will behave themselves and suck it up, as it's your wedding and not their place to cause issue. Trust them to be adults.
My FI's very good friend is gay and he and his partner will be coming.
I would never be offended.
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I have a really, really good friend who is a gay male. He is travelling from across the country to attend my wedding and I am thrilled that he'll be there to share the day with us!
He sent me an email today asking if it will be "okay" for him to bring a guy as his date. He requested to bring his old friend from college, whom I have met several times over the years, since he is not currently in a relationship. My friend will only know maybe 3 or 4 other people at the wedding, so I can see him having a +1, especially since he is travelling so far.
What I am wondering is this:
They won't be kissing or anything as they are not romantically involved. but FI's dad is somewhat homophobic and most of his family lives down south so I don't know them & I know that I & my family are somewhat liberal so I'm trying to get an idea of how people might react.
I told him it is fine to bring his friend, but I just wanted an idea about how other people might feel.