- 5 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
FI and I are 2 weeks out from our wedding. On his side of the family we have parents who are divorced and both remarried. My FMIL has very strong opinions on our wedding as far as that she and FI father should be the ones seated as part of the parents, not the step parents. In her view the step parents came along after the kids were adults and didn’t have a part in raising the kids, and to be fair she is treating her husband and my FFIL’s wife the same way when it comes to the wedding.
Anyway, I know the reason she brings this up is because in FI sister’s weddings FSMIL really wanted to participate in the “parent” activities, being seated with the parents, being in the receiving line as a parent, etc. I really think FSMIL understands FMILs feelings now, but FI is insising we meet with FFIL and FSMIL to go over some of this stuff.
Now I’m sitting here thinking of ways to gently tell her our wishes without hurting her feelings. What FI and I came up with is a few other ways to have FSMIL involved in the wedding. For example, being in charge of our guestbook maybe passing out programs or bubbles. Since FI isn’t always good about phrasing things I was thinking about saying something along the lines of “we know that you aren’t going to be involved directly as a parent in the ceremony, but we’d love it and would be honored if you would do this for us”. I though I’d follow it up by going through the full ceremony with them casually mentioning to them that FSMIL would be seated before the ceremony by an usher (her grandson) but not by my FI. My excuse for going over this with them would be the fact that they live further away and haven’t had the opportunity to be apart of our planning so we wanted to share the details of the ceremony with them.
If you were my FSMIL would you be offended? I’m worried because although I don’t care about the logistics of whether FSMIL has the “parent” honors, FI has an opinion and both FSILs and my FMIL have an opinion so I’m between a rock and a hard place. HELP!