Would you be offended by this?

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1242 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

CarolinaPeach13:  I agree with the family only ideaI’ve been in two weddings where the bridal party was 9 on each side.  Sometimes the bridal party gets out of control (numbers wise), especially if it’s a small wedding. A couple of my really good friends stuck to family only and while some friends here and there were a bit disappointed at the beginning, in the end, no one really minded and it worked out for the best. They still had girls helping them do all the bridal stuff, going with them shoping for dresses, etc. The bach was still the same and so were the showers.

As far as the bach parties for the guys… I’ve heard some stories, so it didn’t seem to put a damper that the BP was restricted to family.

Post # 4
Member
6034 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

The smaller the bridal party, the better. It’s nice if you want to get the others a corsage or something but not required. Anyone who gets bent out of shape over not being in the bridal party is acting like a child. Absolutely do not ask the non-bridesmaids to wear any specific color or style. That’s like saying you like them enough to make them match in your photos but not enough to call them a bridesmaid. Names in programs is weird and awkward. 

You and your fiancé both should try to remember that your wedding isn’t as important to your friends as you think it is. most people don’t mind not being “honored” and most people are perfectly happy to attend as a guest.

Post # 5
Member
710 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

CarolinaPeach13:  I don’t think it’s fair to force your fiancé to do this also. He should be able to have whoever he wants on his side and you can limit your side to family only. 

Post # 6
Member
42549 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

We really don’t need to ask all of our friends from various stages in our life to be a bridesmaid. It’s good to leave someone to be in the pews.

Especially if you are considering a small wedding, a huge bridal party can look a little silly- like you are so scared of offending anyone that you asked everyone. In that case it’s not much of an honor.

I think asking them to wear a certain color dress or wearing a corsage is also unnecessary.

Post # 7
Member
8708 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Your fiance should have as many or as few people standing with him as he wants. That isn’t something you get a say in. I wouldn’t ask non bridesmaids to wear a specific color. If that happened to me I’d take it as “pretend to be a bridesmaid and do a bridesmaids job [“helping” the photographer] even though you’re not. “

Post # 8
Member
197 posts
Blushing bee

I think it’s totally fine to limit the bridal party. People have to make cuts for all sorts of reasons in weddings and most people understand that if everyone you’re friends with is a BM, there would be almost no one watching! I think it’s really nice to honor your other close friends too, BUT- buying a matching dress is most people’s least favorite part of being a bridesmaid. It’s like giving them all the cost and work with none of the fun. Could you ask them to do a reading together in your ceremony? Or include them by giving them the same BM gift as the others? And I definitely think inviting them to the bachelor/bachelorette parties would be nice! It’s your wedding and you should have whoever and however many people standing beside you as you so wish!

Post # 9
Member
7216 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

CarolinaPeach13:  I don’t like it. I certainly wouldn’t want to be told what colour dress to wear. Giving out corsages, and naming friends in the program, seems to divide guests into 1st and 2nd class.

It’s already an honour to be a wedding guest. Then you can further honor them by including them in the bachelorette, and doing some special “friends’ photos” at the wedding. You could even invite them to get ready with you in the morning, though I think there are too many to do that.

I agree also that small wedding parties are good.

Post # 12
Member
592 posts
Busy bee

I breathe a sign of relief when I find out I don’t have to be a bridesmaid, I just get to be a guest. 

I’d say keep your side small, family only, maybe your one absolute best friend too. Let your fiance do whatever he wants.

People can still witness, celebrate and vow to support your marriage as a guest just as effectively as if they were in the bridal party. 

Post # 13
Member
1 posts
Wannabee

I attended a wedding recently where my 2 sons were both good friends of the groom. One was asked to be a groomsman and the other an usher. They only chose 3 groomsmen and bridesmaids. The groom used his friends who weren’t groomsmen as ushers and the bride asked her friends that were not bridesmaids to all wear the same color which they did. It was cute! They were very supportive and seemed to feel like a special part of the wedding.

Post # 14
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee

My friend had her siblings only in her wedding party, but my friend and I threw her bachelorette party and as a thank you she bought us floral robes and invited us to get ready with her the morning of her wedding. We got to be in the getting ready photos, didn’t have to buy a pricy dress, it was the perfect scenario

Post # 15
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

I would do familly only in this situation. 

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