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I'm not asking if you'd be offended if someone told you that they didn't like your dress.
What I mean is, if you had a mermaid dress and someone posted that they hated mermaid dresses, would you be offended? Or if you bought a Maggie Sottero dress and someone said that they weren't a fan of Maggie dresses, would your feelings be hurt?
I find myself biting my tongue a lot on here about what kinds of dresses I prefer and which kinds I don't, because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. But on my latest dress post, a lot of people said that they don't like tea length dresses, and I wasn't offended in the least. To each their own, right?
Still, I don't want to offend anyone so I usually keep my mouth shut. Again, I'm not talking about SPECIFIC dresses, I'm talking about types of dresses (halter, pickups, drop waist, etc.)
I wasn't really a fan of my type of dress before I tried it on, so I can't blame anyone else for thinking the same :-) To each his/her own, for sure!
If someone told me they hated my dress, I might be pretty upset, but that's a different story.
I think you want everyone to love your dress - but I think most people also realize that not everyone is going to love every dress. There are things about dresses we either love or hate. I think it's helpful to point out what we personally don't prefer. I think it could be said nicely (ie: I don't think neckline is particularly flattering vs. OMG you look hideous with that neckline).
I guess that's all to say - I'd prefer polite honesty :)
I should have read the post before voting in the poll. In my mind, you said, "I bought a mermaid dress!" and then a friend said, "Oh, I *hate* mermaid dresses!"... and maybe followed up with "but I'm sure it looks great on *you*!" if they were being nice. ;)
Otherwise, no, I tend not to be offended if total strangers out of context say they don't like a certain kind of dress. I assume they're talking about on themselves, and if they're talking about on everyone and being judgmental, I tend to think of it as their problem and not mine. ;)
My daughter had her heart set on a mermaid/trumpet dress, which I really don't care for (or so I thought). However, the dress she found looks great on her and totally suits her personality. Sometimes people are coming from the perspective of what they like for themselves. Certain styles suit certain body types better than others. Mermaids/Trumpets are flattering on some and less flattering on others. If you feel good in your dress thats all that matters.
Everybody's allowed to have different tastes. If you can't acknowledge that, that's the silliest thing ever! If everybody LOVED the same thing, we'd all have carbon copies of dresses
Totally agree with ejs.. people have different tastes, and that's fine! I wouldn't be offended in the slightest.
I honestly don't care if anyone else but me, likes my dress. That said, I don't really comment on or even look at many of the dress threads here because I'm just not that into it. I know what I like and I'm comfortable with that. But my dress is a very plain, linen summer dress - not a wedding dress by any means. So, to go and judge or offer suggestions to brides with super fancy, beaded, laced and what-have-you dresses, seems silly to me, because it's just not my thing. That said - I did actually vote on your previous thread about the regular and tea-length, and because it fits my style more (which shouldn't even be a factor to anyone but me!), I voted on the tea length. I just think it looked less traditional in your pics, and I'm all about keeping life interesting! I truly wonder how many people who ask for advice here actually need it. I think most of the wedding dress threads here are about being showy, more than sincerely seeking advice. (Not saying your's was, just saying in general.) I think there can be a lot of "keeping up with the Joneses" mentality on here... so I just avoid the threads that appear to be that. (I did check out your dress thread, though, because I've dug your style in other posts here and was curious what you were choosing for a dress!)
I'm sure as brides we all know that each of our wedding dresses is perfect for the one wearing it.... Each wedding that I attend I think the dress is gorgeous, although it might not be something I would ever consider wearing at my own wedding. To me, that's the coolest thing about finding your own perfect dress! :)
@VagabondGurl: I don't reply on a lot of dress posts either, because to be perfectly honest, I'm not a fan of most wedding dresses in general. If I do comment on a dress that I don't like, I will try to say something nice about the fit or something.
I wouldn't be offended because honestly I am not a big fan of my dress style either lol I just happened to really like the one that I bought.
i know my type of dress (short and casual) isn't everybody's favorite, but i'm glad. i don't want everybody to love it b/c then everybody would have it, and i wanted my dress to be different.
@danadelphia: I'm with you in that I usually try to shy away from posts where I don't like the dress as to not to offend. Or...like you, I try to say that the length is nice or fits well. I'm the same with veils. I'm not a fan of a certain style of veil...and actually I cringe when I see them on someone, but I usually just don't comment on those posts as to not hurt anyone's feelings.
But, if someone said they didn't like my style of anything, that's fine...that's why it's my wedding and not theirs!
I would not be offended at all that a person does not like the type of dress I bought, as there are many styles I don't like myself. Everyone has different tastes, to each their own. Now, if someone came up to me and said I don't like X when they knew I was wearing that type...that would probably hurt my feelings. However, I would not it against that person.
I had to read the title carefully too, as well as your OP.
I wouldn't care at all if someone said "I don't like strapless dresses" because well...luckily they aren't buying my dress.
That is nothing like someone actually saying that they don't like your specific dress. I would never comment like that on someone else's dress. I was hurt that after taking my friend wedding dress shopping, making the tough budget decision to buy a sample dress that I can have altered to look like my dream dress, and then actually BUYING THE DRESS, she said "I really liked the first dress you tried on better. If I had your body, that's what I would have bought". That hurt my feelings a lot....
Really, I wasn't into the whole wedding dress, "THE ONE" mentality...but it did really irk me that she came dress shopping with me and after I buy the dress she said that. The first dress I tried on was LOVELY, but wasn't me.
It just hurt my feelings that at that point she just couldn't keep her opinions to herself. If I see a post about a dress where the dress just isn't personally my style, I either say nothing or do like the OP and compliment the fit. We can't all be the same.
PS: I think that tea- length dresses are lovely. Frankly, if someone gets offended because you post that you don't like strapless dresses, or white dresses, or long dresses, or dresses with trains, then that says more about them.
The only slightly negative comments that I would post on here is if someone had a dress that obviously didn't flatter their figure. Because there are so many dress styles out there, that there is always something that will fit your shape right, no matter if your really short or big on top, etc. I've seen dresses posted here and other places, that I bet people where dying to get because they saw it in a magazine (guilty!), but it just didn't work for their body type.
I have a unique style dress (one shoulder) and some people don't like those, but that's OK...it works for the pear shaped, short person that I am. :)
No, I wouldn't be offended. Then again I also wouldn't be offended if they flat out said they just specifically didn't like MY dress. I know everyone has different tastes, so who cares? I happen to like my taste, probably because it's my own. :)
@danadelphia:I don't reply on a lot of dress posts either, because to be perfectly honest, I'm not a fan of most wedding dresses in general. If I do comment on a dress that I don't like, I will try to say something nice about the fit or something.
I'm not a fan of most wedding dresses either. Maybe it's because I'm a bit older, or I like really plain dresses so I usually don't comment at all. However, I do know that when I see some brides in their dresses, they look really really beautiful. Not something I would wear, but I really like them in their dresses.
No..everyone has their own tastes in wedding dresses. For instance, I want to look and feel like a princess when i get married...and my fiance wants me to too, and most people these days don't like the looks of princessy like dresses anymore, but I don't care!
I totally agree with @bRooklynRocks:
Many times, even if the type of gown may not be my favorite type, it often looks great on the bride that chose it! I love to see the photos of all the unique brides to be and their unique gowns and wedding ideas! It's fun!
I showed my mom a pic of my dress
mom: "oh...thats..." long pause
me: "nice? awesome? pretty? lovely? gorgeous? gaudy? epic?"
then she changed the subject lol and thats why i didnt take her dress shopping w/ me!
So if i dont care what she thinks i could care less about other ppl not liking it. As long as i love it and my FI loves it!
At least with me, when I think, "I don't like that style" or even, "I don't like that dress," it's more in the context of... I personally would not wear it. I don't mean that it's not a pretty dress. In fact, when people post photos of their dresses, everyone looks radiant whether I'm a fan of the particular style or not. (The dress picture threads are my favorite ones to read, too.) There are definitely gowns that I find to be beautiful that I still would not wear on my own wedding day. To each her own!
I wouldn't be offended at all. Bridal fashion would be really boring if everybody liked the same styles.
Whether I'll speak up about disliking a dress depends on whether the poster already bought it. There is one designer in particular that's popular on the 'bee whose dresses I find gaudy. If it's a "so excited to show off my dress" thread and I don't like it, I just don't say anything. If it's a "I'm considering this dress; what do you think of it?" I'll give my honest opinion.
It wouldn't offend me at all - wouldn't it be boring if everyone had the exact same taste - but I'll admit to biting my tongue on here after seeing a couple of (IMO) way oversensitive responses to offhand comments about not liking X designer's dresses. It just comes down to a matter of personal preference in my mind.
No I wouldnt be offended because there are tons of dresses that I dont really like so I dont expect everyone to like mine either :)
Hi Danadelphia. I remember that post! Which dress did you decide to go with?
As for this post... I wouldn't be offended at all if someone told me they didn't like my type of dress. If it were someone I knew telling me in person I would probably be a little sad because I would want everyone I know to love my dress as much as I do but as far as trying to get input and opinons, I would rather have people on here tell me they don't like my type of dress, if that be the case, before they give me any opinions on it (or vise versa) that way I have a better idea of what their biases might be. For example, I had a previous post asking about if my accessories went with my dress and I got a lot of people saying things I liked with my dress was too much... but it came out also, that a LOT of people just didn't like birdcage veils, or gloves... so in that case, if they said they didnt like my veil or gloves I kind of figured it might not be so much/completely the accessories I picked out but could be a little bit that some people who gave me their opinion had different tastes then me :)
I guess with everything wedding, you should really juse go with what you like best and makes you feel the most prettiest :)
One of FIs coworkers fiance's (complicated i know) told me she didnt like ruching on a dress. Well the bodice of my dress is ruched and gathers to one side. I wasnt offended just because I know the dress is very flattering on me and everyone has their own preferences!!
Fashion is fashion and not everyone has the same taste and so no - I have never been offended when people say I hate ballgowns. Lots of people hate ballgowns. And personally I didn't originally want a ballgown.
But I love my dress, my mom and MIL love my dress on me, my girls love my dress on me and I know my FI will love my dress on me and that is all that matters to me!
yeah i ran into this problem a few days ago. i posted a dress and people actually said they "hated" that dress, and that the dress was "ugly". i think that's just rude. saying what you dont like about a dress is helpful... just splurting out things like hate and ugly, is just crass. but hey, it's virtual so we cant expect everyone on here to be a 'lady'.
It wouldn't bother me too much if it was an anonymous stranger on a message board, but I'd be a little pissed if someone in the bridal party (read: the ex-problem bridesmaid) whinged about it because hey--you're supposed to be supportive, damnit! Keep your mouth shut (unless it makes me look like a transvestite or Margaret Thatcher or something, in which case, please tell me). Either way, to each their own--I'm the one wearing it, not you.
i really really do not like halter top dresses at all. and if someone told me they didnt like my maggie or a line or whatever i wouldnt care. to each his own. as long as u feel good in it who cares
nah - everyone has their own idea of what looks good. now if i posted a picture of ME IN MY DRESS (ie. not one i am thinking of getting or something im not sure of but the actual dress i bought complete with alterations *heres my look* type of picture) and people said they HATED it and looked bad etc, i would probably break down in tears.
hence why wheni comment on dress postings i make sure to know which comments people are soliciting - the "what do yout hink about this TYPE of dress" versus, "what do you think of this dress that i love dont i look great!" type of post.
people's taste's are really different - that's why there are so many options out there! I wouldn't be offended if someone didn't like the style of my dress - they don't have to wear it!
Don't ask questions if can't take the answers IMO
When you put your choice of style (and that goes for everything, not just dresses), you have to be prepared to hear negatives.
It doesn't bother me if people say they don't like my style of dress, that means less people with the same look!
My dress isn't lace but looks like it, and a lot of bees commented that they don't like lace dresses when referring specifically to my dress and I didn't mind at all. To each her own and I know for SURE that was the perfect dress for me, so if others don't like it in my opinion it's his/her loss.
I'm sensitive so those comments might sting a bit....but I'd get over it.
Nope not at all. I know not everyone's going to like my dress and there are styles out there that I think just look ridiculous. I comment on dress posts where I like the dress. If its a style I don't like but the bride looks amazing in the dress then I'll say that. If I think the bride wants an honest opinion and hasn't bought the dress I'll be honest, like PinkPinstripes said, if I didn't wanted stangers to say bad things about my dress I wouldn't run the risk by posting it.
Actually, I am in love with a dress that my closest friends and family are NOT in love with because it is "too plain". I recognize their comments, but that makes me happy! I love classic simple dresses.
No one has said they didnt like ME in the dress, or that the dress was ugly, or anything like that. I think that would be a different story. As long as the comments are limited to "Its pretty but not my style" Id be fine.
There are a LOT of dresses that I find beautiful on WB that I wouldn't wear to my wedding. The red dress someone posted about yesterday is one example. 100% not my style but I thought it was a beautiful dress. So for me, its fine.
If someone on the boards said it? No, I wouldn't care.
Now, if like my MOH, my mom or my FI were to be all, "OMG, v-neck a line ivory dresses are disgusting!" after knowing that's what I'm wearing, I'd be a little upset.
On the boards? Not at all. Seriously. You post a dress and ask complete strangers what they think you're opening yourself to criticism. Unless you state, only positive responses please, I think you need to be open to having your dress called hideous or something like that. Now saying a BRIDE (an actual person) looks hideous is another story.
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