(Closed) Would you be ok with living with another guy after you got married?

posted 8 years ago in Home
Post # 3
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

Personally, I would feel uncomfortable with it, but if you are confident in your relationship with your Fiance, then he is correct, you would be able to save a ton of money and be able to get your own home sooner than if you had to pay a higher rent. But, what would you do with the dogs? About the bathroom, would there be an option to add another bathroom to the house? Maybe the master bedroom has a separate bathroom?

Post # 5
525 posts
Busy bee

I was going to say that as long as it wasn’t a long time solution (i.e. just for a while for you guys to save money) and it was a nice house then go for it… until I read the part about your Fiance being away for up to 2 weeks at a time. I would personally find it kind of strange living with another man for up to 2 weeks without my husband, but then it totally depends on your relationshp to this man. I don’t know… I think I would be uncomfortable with the situation but you can’t deny that it would be really great to save so much money… and you may find it’s nice to have a flat/house mate to chat to and have around if you are going to be alone for periods of time.

Post # 6
208 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

This sounds like an amazing oppertunity to save money, but I highly suggest you guys really think about it before making a commitement.  My Fiance and I have been living with roomate(s) for the past two years, and I will admite, it can get old very quickly.  We currently live with one other man in a three bedroom apartement.  I think the biggest issue for us is that we are not able to be as free in our home as we would like to be.  Our roomate is very quick to comment if he hears us kissing in another room, and we always need to be very careful about, well, noise levels, in our room.  I also find it frustrating that we cannot be as open with one another in communal spaces.  If we want to have a discussion we need to go to our room, if we want to snuggle and watch a movie we are often interupted.  Granted, our roomate has gotten increasingly passive aggressive over the last year, but the presence of another person in the house can really put a damper on all of those wonderful “couple” moments that occur (physical, mental, emotional).  Of course, every living situation is different, but especially in the first year of marriage you will need to consider all aspects of your relationship with one another before adding a roomate to the mix. 

Post # 7
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Er, I don’t think so. My husband has a buddy from back when they were 2 years old. I feel completely 100% safe around him. But I certainly wouldn’t want to share a bathroom with him =

I was thinking the house may be like a mansion or something…but it just sounds like a regular house.

Nope. Ask him how he’d feel about moving in with, say, one of YOUR besties?

Post # 8
1079 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I have had great roommates, and don’t mind sharing a house with a guy. The catch for me is that you’re getting married and this is the time to start your life together – just the two of you. Plus it sounds like you have some other problems with living with this guy. So, I would really politely tell this guy you appreciate his really generous offer, but as a married couple you want it be be just the two of you. I lived with a soon-to-be-married couple for a little while. They figured out really quick they didn’t want a roommate, no matter how compatible we all were.

Post # 9
3363 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

The dogs having to live in the backyard would be a definite deal breaker for me.  I don’t care how much I would save.  My babies are NOT living outside!

As far as living with another guy, eh.  I wouldn’t love it, but I could deal. 

Post # 10
4150 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

What if you gave it a try for a couple months?  If you’re really unhappy living there, start looking for a new place with the hubby.  If not, you’ve just saved yourselves a LOT of money!!

Good luck!Smile

Post # 11
1288 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Indiana Memorial Union

If your dogs are inside dogs now, I think it would be super tough on them to put them outside. I think that’s where I’d draw the line, personally.

Post # 12
1408 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Hmmm…I would say go for it. $50 a month is dirt cheap. If you put the money you’d normally be paying towards rent in savings for a year- that is one good sized chunk of money for a down payment for a house! Living with other guys isn’t so very terrible (I’ve had male roommates), you just need to both set out ground rules from the start and stick to them (who cleans what, when, how often, etc.). It’d totally suck to not have your FI/husband around (but this job doesn’t sound definate? Maybe he could get a job closer so he doesn’t have to be away so often?), but if you trust your roommate, he trusts him, and the roommate trusts the both of you, it won’t be so bad. Maybe you can bring this roomy around to allowing dogs in the house, at least at night, in your room?

Think of this- if you can put $700 a way in savings a month (the rent you could be paying elsewhere), That’s $8,400 after a year! It’d go a long way to getting your and your Fiance a very nice house!

Post # 13
1049 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 1998

I say, if you trust the guy and your Fiance does too, then go for it. As long as you feel safe and comfortable, this seems like a once in a lifetime opportunity to get a head start on your future. Letting a stranger see your tampons seems like small potatoes comparitively. 🙂

Post # 14
4385 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

My biggest concern would be the dogs. That would be a total deal breaker to me. If they live inside now I think it’d be pretty cruel to all of the sudden make them live outdoors!

Post # 15
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I agree with a couple of the previous posts. It sounds like a great deal but I would worry about the dogs. Unfortunately when you take on animals they become a big responsibility. I would try talking to your FI’s friend. Maybe if you paid a little extra and promise to clean up after them then he might allow you to keep the dogs inside.

Post # 16
1154 posts
Bumble bee

I would be totally okay with it and happy about it (except for the dogs 🙁 ) but the problem is that you aren’t okay with it.  You feeling ocmfotable at home is a bid deal.

For me, I don’t even see what is embarassing about sharing the bathroom or why it’s weird to live with another guy but I do see that it’s important to feel good about your home. 

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