Would you be ok with your spouse hanging out with a friend of the opposite sex?

posted 2 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: Would you be ok with your spouse hanging out with a friend of the opposite sex?
    Yes : (103 votes)
    62 %
    No : (63 votes)
    38 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    1473 posts
    Bumble bee

    Yes, I’d be fine with it unless they had some sort of romantic history. Then I would not be fine with it.

    Post # 3
    Member
    2017 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2016

    I’m your No. It’s awkward but he and I have talked about it and neither of us would be down with the idea.

    Post # 4
    Member
    736 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    musicalsteve82:  it REALLY depends on the person and situation, how much time you two have together, how much time he spends with the kids (if you have any) etc.

    Basically, if said friend is made a priority, absolutely no way. But if it’s a long term friend who he hangs out with on occasion and catches up with (and someone YOU know and are comfortable with), I think it’s ok.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2428 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Yes. I met my husband through my best friend, and they went to high school together. The three of us used to hang out together all the time, so whenever I was away visiting my parents they would still hang out in a “we don’t know what to do with ourselves” sort of way. I always thought it was sweet. I’ve also hung out with my guy friends who I knew long before my husband, just us two. It’s been a while, but my husband would never have a problem with it. One of them married us and another was a groomsmen.

    The key is definitely no romantic history (for us).

    Post # 6
    Member
    6740 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2010

    My husband goes out to dinner with a friend who he knew before he met me. I love her and I’m fine with it. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    1532 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    It’s very important that they never dated. And it’s much easier when she’s happily in a relationship.

    DH and I both hang out with friends of the opposite sex without each other being present. I really don’t mind it much at all. DH gets a little bit more sensitive about it, but that’s ok. He’s never kept me from seeing my friends. You have to trust your spouse to interact with the opposite sex without having an affair. That’s just like basic to me.

    But hanging out with EX’s – that’s not ok with me. You don’t want to put yourself in bad situations. Speaking of which, I’d never want me or DH to be home alone with someone of the opposite sex. That’s inappropriate in my opinion. Bad things could happen too easily. Being in public is much safer.

    Post # 8
    Member
    145 posts
    Blushing bee

    I personally would not be okay with it, even if it was my friend.  I would find it rather odd if my SO wanted to hang out with my friend or a girl friend of his and not allow me to come or even offer for me to tag along.  He’d feel the same way if I was hanging with friends of his without him, it’s just not something we’d either be comfortable with.

    Post # 9
    Member
    4147 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Yes.  I completely 100% trust my husband.  In fact, when we go out as groups, with one girlfriend in particular, my DH and her are better friends and spend the whole night together, chatting and linking arms while walking.  I am in no way threatened or feel disrespected in any way.  I would trust them alone together as well.  However if I felt that she (or any other woman) was trying to come on to him, I wouldn’t be as comfortable, however I would still trust that he would not do something to hurt me or our relationship.

     

    Post # 10
    Member
    537 posts
    Busy bee

    I personally think it varies. One on one makes me uncomfortable. If they’re hanging out in a group when I’m not present, then I don’t care.

    Call me insecure or crazy or what have you, but I don’t like the idea of my FI hanging out with a girl one on one, and I know for sure he wouldn’t be too happy with me hanging out with a guy one on one. Do we stop each other from doing so? No, unless it’s a really, really bad idea. Do we voice our concerns? Absolutely.

    I think you should just be on the same page with your SO for situations like this. I hate double-standards, so if I don’t want my FI doing something, I won’t do it either because it wouldn’t be fair.

    Post # 12
    Member
    858 posts
    Busy bee

    Depends on the person and situation! IF i new the girl, and was confident no romance would spark. Yes. But its definately something to talk to your SO about. Make sure your on the same line. I def would be more comfortable with a public setting.

    Post # 13
    Member
    2871 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    My DH is okay with me going out with whom ever I want, one on one, or in a group.  I offer my DH the same courtosy.  We both know ourselves well enough to never put ourselves into a situation where we would be tempted.  

    OP, I feel like with your two posts today, you have something to prove to someone.

    Post # 14
    Member
    478 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2016

    It depends on how they met, why they met and under what circumstances they ”need” to hang out alone. 

    My FI has a couple female friends that hes always known, one of them is a very beautiful girl who does some modeling and they go for dinner or coffee sometimes when hes back in his hometown visiting his kids. Doesnt bother me at all. I have Male friends who mean a lot to me and I would NEVER EVER allow a new man to come into my life and tell me that I cannot see them anymore just because they have a penis and I would never do that to him, either.

    If he went out one night or some new girl started working with us and it was a girl he just met and out of nowhere they want to hang out alone? Nah. I wouldnt even stay with a man who wants to hang out with a ”new female” friend, thats not how it works and I also, would not just go hang out with some new dude I just met.

    BESIDES, If your man actually wanted to hang out with a female friend with less than truthful reasons, he will find a way to do it so that you dont know. Women AND Men have this idea that by saying ”No” that it prevents any type of infidelity. It doesnt. If your SO is going to cheat, then it will happen no matter what and you just wont know about it.

    Post # 15
    Member
    851 posts
    Busy bee

    It’s fine by me, even if they had romantic history, and even if it was someone I don’t know or who he had just met. I trust my FI and I know nothing untoward would be happening. If my FI tried to tell me I couldn’t hang out with any of my male friends (one-on-one or any other way) I would be furious. 

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