Weddingbee boards

i totally understand how you feel. I had a really good friend who could not come to my wedding for various reasons, the biggest being that she is Jewish and my wedding fell on Passover.  However, her other reasons were finances and she had no one to look after her dog if her mother came with her and she had no other potential roomate for the trip.  so despite her religious reason i was disappointed because for months she had been super excited to come my wedding (or so she said). then i also found out on facebook that about 3 weeks before my wedding she was going on vacation with her mother for a week in the Caribbean! it stung and i was hurt, no denying it. i never addressed it with her because i didn't see the point. she obviously had her priorities and reasons and nothing i could say would change that, right?  so i let it go. it bothered me for a while and when i came back she was suddenly all over me on facebook going on about how she wished she could have been there, was there in spirit, raving about my pics...almost to the point that it seemed she felt guilty because she knew she could have been there if she wanted.

another thing that happened was a friend, not close, but from childhood got engaged and announced she is planning her wedding in mexico. a few days later she RSVPs to my wedding saying she cant come because she now cant afford it. I didnt even know she had been considering coming, but it made sense and i told her no problem i understand.  but then about a week before my wedding, she announces on facebook that she is off to somewhere else in the caribbean for a week with her FI! so she was on vacation in the caribbean during my wedding, just not in Jamaica. even though we are not close, that still stung a bit and i wrote on her status and said "aw, you should come to Jamaica!", and it turns out her friend is a travel agent and got her an amazing deal specific for time and location, so it made sense.

anyway, my point of telling you all this is just to say i think you should let it go. i dont think there would be harm in asking how he was able to go or maybe better something like "what made you decide to go to Bermuda then".  but in a way that shows you understand that no matter what he is not coming to your wedding. unfortunately our weddings are not everyone else's priorty and things like your situation suck, but there is not much you can do except dwell on it or let it go and focus on the people who ARE coming!  but to answer your question, yes, i would definitely be upset initially. your reaction is totally normal.