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after the ceremony, pictures, introductions, bridal party dance etc., two of your BMs changed out of the 4 inch heels you required them to wear.
I had a discussion with someone about this yesterday, I would have no problem with it but I wanted to get more opinions.
My BM's all bought gold sandals to wear to the reception to dance in (their heels were gold for the actual wedding). I had absolutely no problem with this.
Yeah, no problem with that either.
Was someone actually offended that people would want a break from painful shoes after five hours or so? She'd rather her friends be in pain than have fun?
Um, 4 inch heels are "2 hour shoes" - AT MOST! What kind of sadistic bride would insist that her "friends" keep those shoes on ALL NIGHT LONG!!?!?!???
My girls all wore black dresses and I bought them metallic flats to wear after dinner at the reception. it was the humane thing to do 
My poor MOH is not a heel wearer - she was seriously limping by the time we were introduced. I had no problem whatsoever with her switching into flip flops - most of the ladies on the dance floor (myself included) ended up barefoot by the end of the night!
Nah, I'm a major wimp with foot pain - if they want to change out of their shoes, that's fine by me!
We don't know for sure how the bride feels, other than the fact that she is requiring 4 inch heels.
My friend was talking to me about the shoes and I suggested that she change them after the formalities, she hadn't thought of this and worried that it would upset the bride. I told her that I didn't think it would. Then again, I told my BMs to wear whatever shoes they wanted so I wanted to make sure I wasn't giving bad advice!
I personally cannot wear anything higher than 2.5" so I would never require anyone to do this in the first place!
But yes, of course they should be able to change!
i would never make my girls wear 4 inch shoes to begin with. i know my sister will at least be wearing flats.
Ummm I will be changing into flip flops or flats by the end of the night too!!
Holy crap no - I can't imagine asking someone to do that, I couldn't even do it myself for my own wedding!
I had flip flops for my two BMs and myself so we could dance the night away in comfort.
Yes it would be completely ridiculous for a bride to insist her BMs wear their heels all night. No one (except maybe Carrie Bradshaw) can rock 4 inchers all night long. Most brides don't even wear their shoes all night. When the music starts it's totally flip flop or barefoot time.
My BM's are allowed to wear whatever shoes they want! And I bought myself some white slippers to wear at the reception, so the BM's can do what they want after the pictures! I couldn't imagine wearing a 4inch heel, or making my BM's do that. My sister is already 6'1", add 4 inches to that and she'd be taller than anyone else there!!!
i would much rather have my bms on the dancefloor barefoot than sitting because it's too painful to stand up! yikes!
My daughter was adamant that nobody would wear flip flops at her wedding so instead of alienating the entire bridal party with her mini bridezilla moment, we are buying the dyeable ballet flats in the same color as the shoes they are wearing (also dyed) and they will be comfortable all night long. At least that's the plan, her weding is in May.
It's totally unreasonable to require people to wear shoes that hurt - really, for any amount of time, I think.
Nope:) I'm for sure changing my heels so I'm perfectly fine with them doing the same!
@mamadee - may I ask what the rationale is behind your daughter's no flip-flop policy?
Take them off! Then again - I'm providing a bunch of flip-flops in my colors and in various sizes around the dance floor. We paid a lot for the band and I don't want uncomfy shoes to prevent anyone from dancing!
I agree with a couple of others pps about the bride requiring 4" heels to begin with. I'm not a fan of requiring the BMs to wear the same shoe. LEt 'em have a little freedom. But if that's the way the bride watns to go, She should go with soemthing easier then 4" heels.
But, to answer your question, I think it's fine to chagne shoes for the reception. As for the bride not liking this:
1. Perhaps she won't if she required them to wear 4" heels in the first place.
2. Who cares? What could she do at that point? How couldthat ruin her wedding?
3. I kind of doubt she'll really notice her BMs wearing different shoes, at that point.
No way, I don't have a shoe policy for the wedding! A comfortable bridesmaid is a happy bridesmaid :)
I can't imagine how controlling you would have to be to get upset about this. I don't even like when brides force a specific shoe on all bridesmaids (everyone's feet are different shapes, and some shoes that are fine on one person may be excruciating on another) at all. If the bridesmaids are willing to wear the same shoe for the ceremony to make the bride happy, she'd be nuts to get upset if they changed into more comfortable dance shoes for the reception.
BTW, I understand the no flip-flop policy... they just aren't dress shoes. ;) I'm hoping that by letting my bridesmaids wear whatever black shoes they want that they'll pick something comfortable enough that they don't need to change into flip-flops or take off their shoes to dance in, but if they do, I doubt I'll even notice, let alone care.
Take 'em off!! Just a word of caution though -- if they're giving speeches maybe they'd want to put them back on for those photos? I was a MOH and put my flip flops on ... then gave my speech and looked like a goof in the photos. I'm embarrassed to this day about it :p
Well, the options at the end of the night end up being: shoes or no shoes?
I've always switched to flip flops or.....barefooted! USually the bride does too at some point! LOL.Who wears 4" heels all night? Taht's insane...i mean, weddings are like 12+ hour days. C'mon
Frankly, even flats can hurt my feet. If photos are over, i'm wearing whatever I want on my feet!!!!!
I am one of those girls that can run around all day in 4-inch heels and never get so much as a twinge of pain in my feet (i have reeeeally high arches - in fact, flats sometimes hurt my feet!). However, I would never ask my BMs to teeter around on stilts for the sake of a few random photos - i would rather see a smile on their beautiful faces and flats on their feet as opposed to grimaces with killer stillettos!
@AFishCalledPuddles - I'm so jealous of your ability to rock heels all day. I love heels and I'm really short but I just can't handle it after a while.
@Kitty: Goodness knows how I love me some heels! After FI and I were together a while, he asked me why I *always* wore heels (I am 5'7" (and 3/4 . . . 5'8" with socks on as I like to say!)) . . . and I told him because I loved shoes and it always made me feel more dressed up (and pretty(!) even if they were more casual sandals). He thought I was *suffering* for his sake, and didn't want me to think that that's what he wanted. :) Eventually, I started wearing sneakers/flats more on weekend outings because he liked it that I looked more casual and not so *planned* . . . and I liked being *shorter* and better suited for cuddling (without my extra faux-height, I felt more like he was my protector and my *big strong man* lol)
Of course not! They shouldn't have to wear 4 inch heels all night!
4 inches is pretty high and rough on the feet! Let them change after the ceremony so they remember how much fun they had, not how badly their feet hurt on the dance floor!
Oh, definitely take them off! I can't imagine how I'd feel as a BM if the bride told me I couldn't change shoes for dancing after all the formal stuff was done!
Yeah, I've gotta say, if I was that bride's BM and she told me I couldn't take off the shoes I would say HEY guess what? You're already married - congratulations! And then I would take my shoes off. Don't get me wrong, I've bended over backwards for brides in the past and as a BM I'll do/wear/help with pretty much anything, but this is crossing my line. I don't care who you are or what day of your life it is - you can't force me to be in physical pain for hours. I'd shove that 4 inch heel up her you know what... just sayin.
... I NEVER wear heels. Ever. My center of gravity must be crooked, because it just doesn't work. They should TOTALLY be allowed to change- it would be cruel not to! Or the bride could pay for their doctor bills...
Nope - two of my BMs changed shoes after pictures - one into flats and SIL BM into gold chuck taylors (I asked them all to wear gold shoes). the one in the chuck tailors also changed hear earrings into dangly traditional native american earrings (DH and family are native) that matched the dress. what would I care? it was party time!
PS can't imagine asking my girls to wear 4 inch heels anyways...sooo high!
It should be fine! I was one of the evil brides who had my BMs wear all the same shoes (their dresses were tea-length, so I felt like the shoe was part of the look), they were 3-inch heels, and comfortable on me and 2 BM's but uncomfortable for the other 3. I tried to provide flip flops for them , but unfortunately I didn't plan carefully enough, and guests snapped up all the flip flops before bridesmaids arrived :-(
I did have a mini-bridezilla moment and I don't really regret it - they asked when we arrived at the reception if they could please do the grand entrance barefoot, and I said alright, and then 5 minutes later, I took it back, and told them they had to walk in with their shoes on, but could take them off as soon as they'd walked in. I love the entrance pictures, including this great one of the just the feet of the 1 GM/2BM set, and I just think it would have been kind of awkward/tacky for 5 BM's to do the grand entrance with their shoes in their hands.
If you're worried about what the bride will think, you could offer to all get matching flats or flip flops. 4 inch heels are just not doable for dancing all night.
I would have no problem with them changing their shoes. I don't really like when bridesmaids (or anyone for that matter) go barefoot, so I would ask them to bring another pair of shoes, or provide matching flats for all the girls!
Who cares what they wear at the reception? I'm even buying my maids flip flops.
FSIL bought us flip flops. :) I didn't change into mine since I was wearing Manolos, but I thought it was a lovely gesture.
Quite frankly, I don't even see it going well if I asked my BMs to wear 4 inch heels, period! My MOH wouldn't mind, as she does regularly, but everyone else is a 2 inch kind of girl, and that doesn't bother me in the slightest.
not at all! DEFINITELY let them change! Let me tell you, I wore my 5" CLs the ENTIRE DAY/NIGHT of my wedding (Im talking 2pm to midnight) because they were fabulous and I regretted that decision for about 4 days afterwards lol. Dont put them through that!
I wouldnt be upset because I know that they would be uncomfortable. I would want my bm to be as comfortable as possible.
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