Post # 1
I recently found out that when my fiance asked my Dad for permission to marry me and he told him to ask my mother and when he did my mom asked him “are you sure about his?” He just told me this recently and I was sooooooooo angry and upset about it but there was nothing I could do about it as he told me in confidence and didnt want me to say anything to my mom about it. It just makes me so angry that I might not have even gotten engaged if my mom had some how persuaded him to “hold off” she asked if him if he was “sure” about it!! Like who says that!! Especially ones mother!! I sometimes wish I could just run away and elope from all the drama I have experienced involving my wedding but I know that can’t happen. Please tell me things get better.
Post # 3
My mom said the same thing to my fiancÃ© but she was kidding. Are you sure it wasn’t in jest?
Post # 4
Whoa whoa whoa. I think that parents generally ask, “Are you sure?” They are parents and its their job to ensure that their child is getting engaged to a man who is sure of his decisions. It probably was just a way to open up the conversation about your relationship and talk before okaying the engagement.
After all, if you FI had backed down after this simple question, it would have saved you a ton of pain.
Post # 5
I dont think it’s that bad. She’s a mom, she just wants to make sure? My mom asked me the same thing when I called to tell my parents we were engaged. First words out of her mouth were “Are you sure???” I thought she meant are you sure you’re engaged, cause I had just said ‘we’re engaged’ and I said.. ‘yes, I’m looking at a ring on my finger!’ and she goes, “No, are you sure you want to get married!?”. I just brushed it off and everythign was fine after that.
Post # 6
My dad asked my FI if I was making him do it! Haha. Honestly,parents are just looking out for you and making sure you are making sound decisions. I laughed when I heard my dad asked that, but my parents are divorced and wanted to make sure that my FI was really ready to propose before he actually did it.
Post # 7
I think my mom said something similar. It wasn’t because she doubted us, it was just like a normal reaction I guess? Even when parents expect an engagement to come soon, it’s still usually surprising when he asks.
Post # 8
I agree with PPs. I think it’s normal for parents to ask if you two are sure. It’s a big step in life.
Post # 9
Why do you think they responded that way? Had you been together for long prior to the conversation? Are you younger than the average couple getting married these days? At the end of the day, what matters is that your FI asked you, because he loves you. (Not that it’s exactly the same, but it kind of reminds me of The Bachelor this season with Kacie B’s parents…they totally ruined it for her.) Luckily, your FI seems to have your back and knows that what you have going on is great.
Post # 10
Well, what’s the point of asking them if their opinions don’t matter at all? I don’t think your mom was too out of line, I think it’s fine to just ask if you’re sure.
Post # 11
Lighten up. All the way up the aisle my Dad kept saying ” It’s not too late to change your mind”.
I think that parents just want the best for us and I definitely think she meant no harm.
Post # 12
@sweetchiquita12: My parents had a entire list of questions including that one, they also asked my FI what he would do if i said no, If he was sure? Why he loves me and wants to marry me? how would he feel if i started making more $ then him? The went on and on and on with questions…. After he proposed he told me about their secret meeting and about all the questions, I laughed, thats just like my parents!!! I asked my parents how FI did, they loved the answeres he came up with!!! He realy thought on his feet and gave honest answers. I though it was great, brought them closer together. FI also told me that when he picked up my e-ring he called them telling him he had gotten a ring wanted to talk to them and show them, they didnt meet until a few days later, I told FI it was his own fault, he knows my dad and he gave my dad too much time to prepare and think about it!!! LOL it was great, i was not upset at all, neither was FI
Post # 13
I think it seems like a normal question.
Post # 14
i would be more upset if my FI I asked my Dad for permission to marry me than my mom saying are you sure
Post # 15
I guess I felt kind of offended but I see all of your points. I think the main reason she asked him this questions is because she knows I can be a handful sometimes but my fiance told my mom he knows this and that he is a “brat” also and he can deal with me because I’m just like him. I thought that was cute. I know I should never say anything to my mom as my fiance would be upset but it bugged me for so long when I first heard that I didnt even want to go over to my parents house
Post # 16
@Future MrsK your post made me laugh at the kind of questions your parents asked!! Wow!