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So DH posed a question to me yesterday that I had never really thought that much about before:
If given the opportunity ... would I quit my job and move overseas for a project with him?
Background - basically his company (he does healthcare consulting and travels every week) is trying to pick up a project at a hospital in Abu Dhabi, UAE. They sent a survey to everyone asking them if, in the event this project comes to fruition, they would be willing to relocate overseas for about a year to complete it.
After thinking about it a little, I decided that I would be willing to move overseas for a job but I would want to have a known end date of only a year or two in the future. I would not want to live internationally and far from my family and friends permanently but for a short term relocation, would love to live abroad and be able to travel throughout the region. I think it would be an awesome experience!
So, would you be willing to relocate and live internationally with your SO? Why or why not? What conditions would have to be met for you to be okay with it?
It would be hard for me to leave my family but I'd do it. I've always wanted to live in different places though.
I'd be willing to relocate, but only with the knowledge that it would be in a country whose customs and culture aren't radically different from my own. Before I ruffle feathers, let me clarify. I simply couldn't live somewhere that views women as lesser citizens than men. So, anywhere like that would be out. Period. Gimme a book that would help with foreign lang. translation to english if necessary, and I'd prob be okay just about anywhere. Oh, and running water, electricity, etc. I'm sooo not a 'rough it' kinda gal.
I would be willing to if their was a definite end date, and like wonderwoman said, it would have to be a country that viewed women equal to men. I can't imagine living in a foreign country, and feeling like a second class (non)citizen.
I'm with you I would but only for a known period of time.And there has to be significant professional benefit for my husband for us to do that. Because I have a career as well at a really good job that we would not just quit without good reason to.
I could never be permanently away from my family.
And I agree that I would not choose to go to a country where females are viewed as inferior. But if it was a good move for my husband professionally, I would do it.
I would, but it would depend on the location. If it was somewhere like Canada or Sweden, then heck yes! Sometimes I tell my boyfriend to go work for IKEA so maybe we could live in Sweden someday. Or find some Canadian friends so we can go live with them if this country gets too conservative, lol. I don't think I could live permanently in a country with a culture that is too far a cry from my own personal beliefs and values though. For example, a religious state, or a place where women didn't have the same rights as men, or if there was no regard at all for environmental issues. I'd have a problem with massively overpopulated areas too, so no Mumbai or Tokyo for me. Living somewhere for a year or two would be fine, but like you said, I'd need an end date if it was somewhere that wasn't exactly an ideal place for us.
I'm DEFINITELY willing to go overseas. I actually don't think my life would be complete unless FI and I lived overseas.
He has a lot of coworkers that raise their kids overseas and it's much cheaper and easier.
My FI wants to get based in Okinawa and I am totally okay with this, I think it would be exciting to go learn about another culture. I will miss my family but I will no matter where I move so it is okay =)
I am actually hoping for this to happen after the wedding.
FI was offered a position in London in December but turned it down due to all the wedding planning, etc that is going on this year. He thought they'd just find someone else in the company to go.
However, they are now delaying filling this position until after September (our wedding).
I would want to go for 1-3 years, I don't want to move abroad permanently, but I'd love to live abroad AND my company has an office in London so I might just be able to transfer (and not even have to quit).
Already have, and plan to head back overseas in a few years (hopefully - we don't have a definitive date yet)! I don't know if I could say I'd live just anywhere though - there are some areas of the world that would be really tough for me culturally.
I would not be willing to move internationally. I have a huge family and I am really close to them. I know it would be a fun adventure at times, but then I know I would miss seeing my neices and nephews grow up and that would break my heart. Pluse=, I just would not want to be away from my family, I'm too close to them.
Thank goodness its not an issue for us though because he is a teacher and he has always said he would never leave northern California either, yeay!
It depends more on the location than the end date, though a less desirable or further location might be ok for a finite period of time but not indefinitely.
We currently live 6 hours by plane away from our families so there are places we could move internationally that would be about the same distance. It would be hard for me to move somewhere that's more than a few hours' flight from our families, though. Somewhere like Europe, maybe parts of the Carribean, Latin America, would be fine but Asia, Australia, etc would be more difficult because of distance.
As a couple of other posters mentioned, though, I absolutely would not move somewhere where women are viewed as inferior or limited to traditional domestic roles. It's totally incompatible with both my values and my personal habits. That's one of the reasons Dubai and a lot of other middle eastern countries would be out - that and they don't look kindly on alcohol which is less of a moral issue and more of a pain in the butt.
@cyndistar3: My brother just finished over 2 years there. While I didn't get to go, he really liked it and learned some Japanese while there. He said he had to go really far off base to get into the culture because it was so saturated by US military.
And to answer the question, the farther I could get from everyone except my sister and brother, the better. They're too much freaking drama.
For 1-3 years, absolutely! My husband had a slight chance of getting to go to Australia for work 1-2 years a few years ago. I was SO excited. Didn't happen, though. :(
I already did it once. Left all my family behind at 21 and moved to the US to get my masters. Then one thing led to another; I started working, married my ex, and ended up staying permanently. I can't lie to you, after 15 years it's still hard. I miss my family and they miss me a lot, and I never made as close friends here as I did back home.
I have no attachment to where I'm living now except for my husband and cats, so I would love to move somewhere else, especially Europe. Unfortunately he's not as flexible. He enjoyed visiting my home country but he says he wouldn't want to live there, it's too big an adjustment for him :(
@TheFutureMcBride: if we go it will be 5 years if he goes alone it would be 3
Okinawa is a beautiful place, I don't know about the area military is based in but the island is sooooo beautiful you should def travel around while there. So different from other parts of Japan.
As for me I am very flexible. I could live anywhere.
I already am! I moved to Australia 6 years ago and met my fiance the night i arrived :) I've made the decision to stay here .... maybe not forever but at least for the next little while, and if we have kids I'm pretty sure I want to raise them here rather than in Canada, for a variety of reasons I won't get into here. It is hard being away from my family, but we all make a huge effort to see each other regularly, and I think if anything it makes us appreciate each other more - if we were down the street from each other i doubt we'd have the type of connection we do now.
I think being a world away from where you were raised isn't for everyone, but for me, its made me who i am!
It's not without difficulties but is the chance of a lifetime. You'll have amazing experiences.
I'd LOVE to but unfortunately all of my family lives in the same area I do. They'd also give me shit if I moved away and had kids. My family is really close and it would be hard to move away. Maybe for a year or two though--that'd be nice.
This is my absolute DREAM LIFE, to live abroad for a few years (I'd be cool with it up to 5 years, I think.) Obviously, Europe would be my first choice, followed closely by anywhere in South America but oh, how I day dream about DH coming home and saying he's getting transferred somewhere abroad! Hopefully (maybe, not likely) it will happen some day!
I'm currently living abroad and my fiance's hopefully joining me after the wedding. I've been in Beijing for about 3 months now, and I am really enjoying my experience here. I got a good job offer, and I was sort of itching to live abroad. I felt like I was getting too comfortable living in the states, and I wanted to explore different cultures and places.
I'm hoping for it. Actually I already live abroad in DH's home country but there'S a chance he'll get an expatriate position and I'm hoping it's somewhere fun. As an expatriate, companies usually provide additional benefits and often allow you the "best of both worlds." An American friend of mine is currently in Europe for her job where she gets local vacation (30 days) while her company still pays into her 401K.
Like PPs I wouldn't be okay with a place I felt would not offer me the chance to continue my career and would really struggle in certain countries that restrict behavior due to a relgion such as Qatar. But, then again the struggle could be interesting in itself.
@Mrs.KMM: I'm actually doing this right now. My husband was offered a job overseas (Netherlands) about a week before our wedding. It's such a great opportunity, and since his company is giving him a per diem, we've been able to save some money towards a house when we move back home. Going into it, we knew it could be anywhere between 6 months and a year. We arrived in October 2010 and now have a firm end date of August 15, 2011.
If you guys get the opportunity to go and have any questions about moving abroad (I know it is to a different country than me, but some things about the move probably carry over), feel free to PM me!
Congrats on the opportunity, it sounds great! I definitely want to move to another two / three countries before settling down, so I'd have no problem.
I'm not even sure where exactly I would want to settle... But luckily we're not planning on settling for at least a couple of years, so there's still time to think about it...
Unfortunately now we haven't recieved any opportunities to move, and we're not looking for them until after the we get married. But then, we'll definitely make it happen!
I have done it and definitely plan to do it again!!
About a year and a half into our relationship my FI (BF at the time) was planning on leaving for school. It would be a minimum two year move and we decided to make it together. We quit our (stable and well paying) jobs,, sold my car,, he sold his place,, and off we went. In a matter of less than two years we moved from Toronto to Montreal to Princeton NJ to Manchester UK back to Montreal and then finally again back to Toronto. We also travelled extensively while living in Europe (flights are dirt cheap and so are a lot of hotels). It was crazy to say the least but you really learn a lot about what you're made of.. how adaptable you are.. how freeing it is to live with very little "things".
We plan to move abroad once we are married (having dual citizenship here in Canada and the EU helps with that). Even though we love our families and friends here and we have an amazing life.. we both feel like there is SO much to see and adventure to be had.
:) I've already proved to my husband that I would! Back in 2009, before we got engaged, we were 6k miles apart and hating the distance and the goodbyes at the airports. We'd been talking back and forth about one of us moving and both of us had given standing invitations to the other to move in with them. After 7 months of a grueling LDR, I finally bit the bullet, quit my job and made plans to move to the Netherlands. I was fully ready to dive in and learn a new language and adapt to a new culture. After being there for 2.5 months and having a lot of conversation about it, my (now) husband and I decided that the USA held more opportunities for us as a couple (at least for now) and never went through with the application for residency for me there.
I'm so glad that I made the decision I did, because I feel like it shows my husband that I was willing to put my money were my mouth is as the saying goes. My home is where my heart is, and my heart is with him! :) One day in the future who knows? We might decide that Europe has more opportunities and move back! :D
I did! so my answer is yes. On our second date my now husband, then second date was like this is weird but I have to tell you I may have to move to Germany in a year. I kind of ignored it since it was only our second date! But less than a year later the two of us and our dog moved to Germany for two years. It was the best thing we ever did!
Hehe my SO isn't from where I am from, so I am moving to his country :). Can't wait!!
Hello!
I'm new to wedding bee and this is my first post :)
I actually did move to a new country for my FI. He is German and I'm American. I've lived in Germany for almost 2 years and haven't looked back. This country is really amazing and Europe in general is awesome. I get to take weekend trips to Italy, Austria and France among other places so no complaints from me ;-) The only challenge is the language, but I'm getting better and better each day. I do miss my family, but I visit them or they come and visit me, so it's not so bad.
We actually just had this conversation the other day too!
Moving internationally will be an option after the next 2-3 years with my husbands company. (It has been proposed, but we just bought our house so he indicated relocating would be out of the question until at least after 3 years.)
So we talked about, that if this opprotunity comes up again, would I be willing to move. My main reason for not wanting to move isn't so much because of family/friends, it is mostly bc of my job. I have a career path for myself and have career goals that I want to achieve. To pack up and leave, puting my career on hold would be something I would heavily have to consider. However, I couldn't dream of living away from him. So we'll just have to wait and see if/when this happens and how I feel at the time.
We've discussed this before. Due to how things will work once I get teaching in a board, it would be really hard to leave (as it would be harder to get a job when I return). Plus, after taking numerous geology and geography courses about natural disasters, there are A LOT of places I wouldn't want to live. Plus I am weird about food. And I'd miss my family. Hahaha! We did discuss moving to Luxembourg for a job exchange for him (he has family there and in the Netherlands). But if there was no option and my husband had to move, I would go with him in a second.
I grew up in the States and moved to Athens, Greece 4 years ago- but I had tons of family and friends here (and I know the language).
My FI and I are considering moving to London if the economy doesn't get better here in 4 years or so...Although I would be nervous about moving somewhere where I didn't have many family and friends...I'm a nester!
Oh heck yes! My dad always travelled the world for his job... we... did not. Due to finances (our parents wanted us to have a private education and college paid for in liu of family travels) and schedules we never went anywhere. My senior year of university my dad was transferred to London. They sold our house, moved abroad and it was the biggest blessing ever.
For the most part, a crucial thing to look at is the expat benefit package. For my parents, my dads company paid for the moving expenses, housing, cost of living difference (GBP vs USD), and 1 Business Class flight back to the city of origin a year with a few other things. They took bank holidays to the spanish coast numerous times, Austria, Hungary, Italy and they spent Christmas with expat friends from back home over in UAE, and with them I traveled to Malta and Singapore. Our friends who were in the UAE have had even more advantages for their 5 kids. They are now in Sri Lanka I think (somewhere over there) and have an amazing life. My parents didn't have to pay a mortgage, car insurance, cable, etc for 4 years. Between investing the house they sold etc... they bought a house FOUR TIMES the price of our family home OUTRIGHT. They would have NEVER been able to afford their "dream" retirement home if it wasn't for going abroad.
There were a lot of hesitations, but their leap of faith and branching out from their comfort zone totally paid off.
remember, it's again the expat package. For the most part, if you go overseas you will not be living in the same standards as the local population. A lot of countries, especially in the UAE, have "expat communities." There are walls, barriers, security, etc. You may (in the non-EU countries) even have maids, cooks, and other "perks" you wouldn't have here.
A lot really does depend on the package you would get for going... there does need to be a benefit, and usually there is. DH got an offer to go to Bangladesh recently but we passed it up. It was very short term, not a good package, and the project is a nightmare. :)
Actually... UAE is a lot different then a lot of ME countries in regards to "expat communities". Where there are areas where more expats tend to congregate, there aren't as many walled compounds that you'd find in Bahrain or the KSA.
A lot of expats with families live "off the island" but that puts you at a considerable distance from downtown, nightlife, the Corniche, malls, and other social things. Now, Khalifa City (expat area off the island) does have it's own school, park, & convenience store... but, IMO, that doesn't really give you the experience of living abroad.
KLP2010 is correct in her assertion that there are a lot of things that you might be able to afford abroad that you wouldn't be able to in the US (maids, having laundry sent out, ability to travel) the cost of living - especially housing - differences can be a shock.
For the people who would be willing to move, are their regions that you're more drawn to? Regions that wouldn't be an option?
I'd really be open to anywhere although I think that somewhere in Europe would be the easiest transition. I know when many people hear UAE - their gut reaction is probably "Middle East, dangerous, terrorism, etc" but honestly from what I know of UAE, it doesn't bother or worry me at all.
My FH is in the Canadian military and I would move with him anywhere, anytime.
I actually have my fingers crossed for Germany or the Netherlands for his next posting :)
I think I could do it if I knew it was temporary. The thought of it terrifies me though!
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