Would you bring your children to this wedding?

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
2878 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Sorry, not a parent, but after RSVPs and reading many many threads on the bee… most parents will assume that their child is invited unless (and perhaps regardless of…) being told otherwise.  You will need to specifically state this.  I don’t like the idea of doing it on the invitations, but that means telling each family by phone when they ask or RSVP for their kids.

 

Post # 5
Member
7195 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@engleman10513:  I have brought my kids to the weddings of immediate family members because they were invited. But I also took responsibility for them. My kids were safe at weddings for the same reason that they were safe at the mall or in car parks: because I looked after them. Nor did we let them disrupt: if they got restless, DH or I took them out the back.

When my kids aren’t invited, I get them babysat.

But I’ve also read lots of horror stories of parents who bring kids and let them scream. It all depends on how responsible the parents are.

Post # 6
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@engleman10513:  I have two three year olds and since they’re not old enough to sit quietly for 15 minutes at a time they don’t come to weddings with me and FH. Weddings are typically long and it would be too much for them at this age unless it was a short afternoon wedding somewhere outdoors and they could nap in our car. I wouldn’t bring them to your wedding but that’s just me. Don’t assume that all parents will be the same. Most parents bring their kids to weddings with them. 

It is pretty much assumed that children are invited. So if you don’t want little ones there you’ll have to make it expressively clear and make very strict rules on who is allowed to bring their children and who isn’t. 

Post # 9
Member
2878 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@engleman10513:  HAH.  Yes we did.  We addressed invitations to only those invited and still got RSVPs for them plus kids (but we didn’t even know their kids existed… thanks FI! lol)  We had to contact people individually, which was super awkward.

However, when we did contact the parents, they were happy to have a grandparent or whomever to watch their kid, and luckily it wasn’t a big deal, but FI felt super bad even asking.  I told him no, we have to stand strong 🙂 (yes, they were all on his side lol)

Post # 11
Member
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I wouldn’t bring my kid to any wedding, even if they were invited. 

Also, I disagree with PP who says you have to explicitly state kids aren’t invited. You don’t and it’s rude to point out who is not invited.  We had a child free wedding with a few excceptions. And no one brought their kids unless the kid was listed on the invite.

Post # 12
Member
1302 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I wouldn’t bring my kids to a wedding, even if they were invited. Weddings are usually long and I don’t feel like a small child would have very much fun. Also, my husband and I wouldn’t have as much fun either because we would have to be watching the kids. Weddings are for adults!

Post # 13
Member
42460 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I have never taken my children to a wedding. Frankly, it’s not something that would interest them, nor would I inflict it upon them.

 

Post # 14
Member
604 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Not a parent but did the no kid thing at my wedding in May. We addressed the invitations to the exact people we were inviting. We also told our parents no children were invited as well as the whole wedding party. With us most people seemed to ask either our mothers or my sister who was my maid of honour if kids were allowed. So they said no for us. I had a couple people ask and just advised that no they weren’t invited.

All of my friends with children seemed to really enjoy the idea of having a night away.  Good luck.

Post # 15
Member
44 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I wouldn’t bring children to any wedding unless it listed them on the invitation.

Post # 16
Member
598 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

My son is 5. He is exceptionally well behaved and I rarely balk at the thought of him going to social events. However, I’ve never taken him to a wedding. I’ve also never taken him to a funeral-Not that they’re the same thing, haha… but they are both events that are filled with symbolism and formalities. At 5, I don’t think he would really understand the meaning of the events nor would he likely be interested at all. I just don’t see the need to take him at this age.

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