(Closed) Would you buy a home with your SO if…..

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Would you purchase a home with your SO if you were not engaged or married?
    Yes : (77 votes)
    23 %
    No : (176 votes)
    51 %
    Depends on the circumstances : (87 votes)
    25 %
    Other... explain below : (2 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3943 posts
    Honey bee

    Yes. We bought one year before the proposal and it was the best decision we ever made.

    Post # 4
    Member
    9143 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    He’s willing to make a 30 year commitment to pay a mortgage with me but he doens’t want to marry me?  Nope.  Also, banks can penalize unmarried persons applying for mortgages by giving them a higher rate.  Not mention if the paperwork is done wrong and the guy dies someone else may inherit his half of the house and you may end up in a property dispute with his family over it.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2023 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    NO NO NO… Keep it separate!  God forbid that something happens… but if it does, and they never get married or if they split – it makes it SO MUCH MORE COMPLICATED!!! 

    Post # 6
    Member
    2270 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I wouldn’t buy a home with that man if I were her, but I be buying a home with my SO in 2013, and we won’t be married until July 2014. We have been together 8+ years, and have a pretty solid relationship. I’m not worried about it. 

    However, I do think everyone should get a prenuptial agreement. I will be, but I don’t have anything for SO to take. It would protect him more than me, but I think everyone should get a prenup no matter what.

    Post # 7
    Member
    2523 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    HAHA

    no.

    Post # 8
    Member
    11327 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2011

    @beachbride1216:  “He’s willing to make a 30 year commitment to pay a mortgage with me but he doens’t want to marry me?  Nope. “

    ^This. I just don’t understand it I guess because I feel like a house is basically a life-long commitment (i mean, not REALLY, but it is as messy or messier than a lot of divorces!). So if he wasn’t sure enough to put a ring on it, I wouldn’t be signing my name on anything.

    Post # 9
    Member
    6015 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    It depends.  In her situation it doesn’t sound ideal.  I know alot of times the engagement happened within six months of buying the house.

    Post # 11
    Member
    100 posts
    Blushing bee

    I think it depends on each couple. Who knows, maybe living together will encourage him to propose. Point is nobody really knows what’s going on except the two of them. that said, a good lawyer will draw up the contracts in a way that protects both of them if things do go wrong.

    Post # 12
    Member
    5148 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    We bought a house before getting engaged, but I was adament that my name wasn’t on anything until we were married. So I helped pick out the house, but it was in his name and the loan was based only on his income.

    Post # 13
    Member
    230 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    Nope!  I’m not willing to play house if he’s not willing to commit.

    Post # 14
    Member
    8042 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2013

    @melanieky:  I think the situation you describe is a dumb one to get into.

    I might do it, if I knew an engagement was on the horizon. No way if either my bf or I were undecided about getting married or we were fighting about it.

    I have a friend/coworker who bought a house with her boyfriend, and based on what she told me about their relationship (i.e. constantly bitching), I advised her against buying it with him. She was unsure if she wanted to or not. I normally keep my mouth shut but I was vocal about it, but she bought the house anyway. Fast forward 2 years later, 1 of which she spent living with him in the house (they built it), and they’ve broken up. They weren’t married or even common law, he put most of the money into the house… he is keeping it… she is not sure what to do now. He said he’d pay her out, but it definitely won’t be a lot of money. She doesn’t have much legal ground to stand on.

    They went into it with him wanting to marry her, but she was in no rush. Things deteriorated from there.

    Post # 15
    Member
    10454 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2014

    We did. But we had been together over 5 years at the time and knew it was permanent, had discussed getting engaged, etc. It happened 6 month later.

    Post # 16
    Member
    11234 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I said that it depends on the situation, because every couple is different. Had our financial situation been different, my FI and I would have bought a house before we were engaged–we were actually going and looking at houses a few months before he proposed. Then again, we’d talked about definitely getting engaged and married, and I was just waiting for the proposal.

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