Would you cancel your wedding and go to the courthouse instead if…

posted 3 years ago in Beehive
Post # 2
Member
878 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

sunflower22:  if the wedding is too much for you and will make you unhealthy don’t do it!

Post # 3
Member
4810 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Yes. And/or therapy. Your health is far more important than a party.

Post # 3
Member
9529 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

If wedding planning was making me physically ill and harming myself, for any reason, yes, I’d go to the courthouse! No way is a wedding more important than your health!

Post # 5
Hostess
9903 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

sunflower22:  yep.  If you have a disorder/illness that’s triggered by stress, avoid the stress 🙂

Post # 6
Member
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

sunflower22:  i can see why you’d think it would be an easier option but I don’t know if it is. From someone who is not recovered myself but not at my worst I can understand your thought processes. How long between deciding to get married at city hall and actually doing it is there? Do you have to file notice and wait a few weeks or do you just walk in there tomorrow? 

If you’ll have to wait a week or two that is still some time within which you’ll be tempted to diet so perhaps just as triggering as how many months  you would have planning a larger wedding rather than an elopement. 

I would say don’t throw away having your dream wedding day if that’s what you want. You might regret it and realise your illness pressured you into a wedding you didn’t necessarily want. You only are going to do that big day once, don’t let your anorexia ruin it for you and scare you into missing out. Unless you are happy with a low key elopement that is!

Post # 7
Member
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I think a part of recovery is facing things like this that challenge us. Not avoiding them and when we find it hard to admit this To ourselves and others and be supported through it. 

Post # 8
Member
5267 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY

Absolutely, your health comes first.

Post # 9
Member
8705 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

No. I’d enroll myself in some therapy first. My health is more important than a marriage or a party.

Post # 9
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

MrsSpagan:  I agree with this.

OP, get yourself some support in the way of therapy. This won’t be the last temptation. You can’t just avoid your disease. You will keep bumping into it for the rest of your life.  You need to be able to kick its ass.

Post # 11
Member
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

prahajess:  exactly. 

 

Sunflower if you want a wedding and are scared about the time between planning and the big day I say be honest about your fears with your FI, get support and like prahajess said, kick your illness’ ass 🙂 don’t let it dictate your life. X

Post # 13
Member
1670 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I’m a recovering anorexic, and I have just been working through the wedding process with my counselor. I have not lost any weight for the wedding, though I admit it is tempting. I’m trying to focus on staying healthy and the fact that my FI wants me just the way I am, not 15 pounds lighter.

I can’t lie though if I was going through a serious struggle with it, I would stay away from wedding boards. This place is full of people dropping pounds. I make it a rule not to click on any thread which may be about weight loss. I still encounter it, but if I’m feeling especially frantic I talk to my FI or my counselor.

Post # 14
Member
3735 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

sunflower22:  I would do anything to protect my recovery. If that meant going to a court house, YES!

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