Would you care if one of your friends dated your ex?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2885 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Wow… I would tell her that you and your ex ended and that obviously that means that you are the wrong person to ask advice from.  And then leave it at that. 

So glad that no one I know would date my ex.  That ended ugly and everyone who knows my side of the story would never consider him.

Post # 4
Member
3557 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Whoa you got married already? I missed it!

I’ve been following your saga ever since the CZ ring and to be honest I’m not quite sure why your coworker would be so gung ho about a guy who cheated on you if I’m remembering correctly. Also wouldn’t a ‘good friend’ not make their friend contact their ex-FI for gossip?

Post # 5
Member
2565 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Her fascination with him while you were together and now afterwards is really creepy and obsessive.  While I agree that I cannot dictate who other people date, I would not like the idea of a friend dating an ex because then they wouldn’t be out of your life.

Post # 6
Member
3777 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Wooooooow. Your friend needs to grow up!

Post # 7
Member
13020 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

My only friend that started dating an ex is no longer a friend.

Post # 8
Member
900 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

She sounds like a mess with men.  How old is she?

 

Post # 9
Member
3777 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@Eckle:  OH it’s that guy? I remember this story now. Friend might have dodged a bullet, then.

Post # 10
Member
858 posts
Busy bee

Yeah, your friend sounds like a nut case. IF she was a “friend” she just would touch the ex boyfriend zone. But she clearly is very into herself. lol. GOod luck!

Post # 11
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I wouldn’t get upset if a friend dated an ex of mine…. I mean, we’re exes for a reason so no hard feelings there.  

OP, your case seems to be more about your “friend” trying to put you in a very odd situation with your ex.  It would be different if you two were still really close friends or something along those lines, but that doesn’t seem to be the case here.  She seems to have a very immature approach to relationships.  

Post # 12
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I don’t care what my exes do, but I don’t want them in my life. If my friends wanted to date them, I say go for it. But you won’t be my friend anymore so I hope it’s worth it (trust me, it’s not. Been there, done that :P). 

I don’t get the appeal of sloppy seconds. 

Post # 13
Member
2116 posts
Buzzing bee

@SnowInApril:  That is really inappropriate for her to ask you to call an Ex that you don’t even talk to anymore!!

Like really inappropriate. She is acting like you set them up and your very good friend is not calling her back. Don’t feel bad at all! You have been a great friend (giving “permission” after she already asked him and then listening to her talk about him – thats gotta be awkward).

I would just tell her you prefer to leave things in the past. Remind her that you broke up with him for a reason. He isn’t perfect.

Post # 15
Member
918 posts
Busy bee

I wouldn’t care in the slightest if a friend dated an ex (unless of course we had just broken up and I wasn’t over him).  However, if one of my friends were to date someone I know well (an ex, a friend, a cousin) then I would definitely be annoyed if they pulled me into the middle of their relationship the way your friend has with your ex.  You’re right, it’s not your place to be calling this guy and asking him why he hasn’t called your friend – she’s an adult, she needs to learn to manage her own relationships.

Post # 16
Member
3777 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@SnowInApril:  Belated congrats on your marriage, btw!

I realized I didn’t really answer the question: I would very much dislike it if my friend went after an ex. I wouldn’t tell her no, because at the end of the day it’s her choice, but I would probably keep my distance, and I def wouldn’t be giving her advice or info about him. I can’t believe this friend of yours is putting you in this position. 🙁

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