(Closed) would you care if you didnt have an ering?

posted 5 years ago in Rings
  • poll: would you care if you didnt have an ering?
    No : (44 votes)
    17 %
    Yes : (220 votes)
    83 %
  • Post # 3
    4738 posts
    Honey bee

    FH didn’t consider us engaged until I had a ring, so it was obviously a big deal for him. 

    For me… Yeah. I’d probably be upset if I didn’t have one. Even if it was CZ and sterling silver or a band or something… I want a ring. 

    Post # 4
    1925 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I would care because I love the symbolism behind it… However I would NEVER EVER post on facebook if I didn’t have one and wanted one!  That’s just–I hate to use the word but I’m gonna–tacky!!  And rude!  I would quietly mention that having a ring as a symbol is important to me…. But that’s not to say I would need an expensive ring… Any ring that would last the years would do 🙂

    Post # 5
    1975 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    honestly it would upset me

    Post # 6
    4738 posts
    Honey bee

    @Ms.GoodEarth:  Definitely! Posting it on Facebook is where she went wrong, not for wanting the ring to begin with. 

    Post # 7
    238 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Would I REALLY care? No, it is just a symbol.




    It is a damn nice symbol. It is a very clear message, and it  is nice looking down and seeing it on my finger. My e-ring is a second hand cluster ring (.2ct). I love it. Should she be shamed for wanting $150 worth of ring? NO FREAKING WAY!!


    But ranting on FB isn’t a good move.

    Post # 8
    3847 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 2004

    I would be upset.

    Post # 9
    1456 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I didn’t feel engaged until I had a ring, though I agree that you don’t need a ring to be engaged. I love having it, and looking at it, and thinking about my husband asking me to marry him. I don’t much care about the cost of the ring (I had a $20 promise ring once, and treasured it), but I really enjoy having a ring. On the other hand, I wouldn’t rant about it on Facebook. I maintain that Facebook is not the place in my life for those types of things. 

    Post # 10
    234 posts
    Helper bee

    I know my SO thinks the ring is a big deal, and I think it’s romantic and thoughtful of course, but if he didn’t give me one I definitely wouldn’t go ranting about it on Facebook. To me, that’s rude and embarrassing for her FI. It’s supposed to be a sweet gesture; publically complaining until you get one (especially on Facebook, not some anonymous site, but a site where all your friends and his friends can see) really does come off as kind of petty.

    Post # 11
    9063 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Absolutely not. I don’t put monetary things on my love. If he had said, “Hey, lets get married some day.” my response would have been the same.

    Post # 12
    532 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2013


    It’s a symbol, token of his love. Nevemrind it helps mark that you are off the market (or taken). 

    My FH got me a ring that he tried to go expensive (got jipped) and isn’t my style at all (He realized this before I did). He wants to get me a new one (I’ve told him not to bother) but the fact he’s actually trying to set things right – because he wants me to know he cares and its a symbol of his love for me he wants me to wear for a lifetime. 

    Post # 13
    2085 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    I would be disappointed but wouldn’t show it if he proposed without one, but completely hurt if I didn’t give one to me within a month or so.

    Post # 14
    733 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    i would not consider it an engagement without the ring. That’s just my view. 

    Post # 15
    2651 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I’m gonna write-in “other.” First of all, I agree that it was majorly tacky of her to spout off on Facebook about it. I don’t understand people airing dirty laundry (of sorts) on FB. Secondly, during my first engagement, I told him that I didn’t need a ring and for him to take the money he would have spent on the ring and start a savings account specifically for the down payment on our first house. I also insisted on a blingy, phat-ass wedding ring, but that’s another topic. However, since he didn’t have to get me a ring, he also felt he didn’t need to go through the process of a proposal.

    Did I miss it? Honestly, a little, but at the time I really really wanted that house, and I was willing to do whatever I could to make it happen. Good intentions and all of that…

    FFWD to today. When FI and I started talking about marriage, I said that I wanted a proposal for sure and that the event was a much bigger deal to me than a ring. I left it up to him whether to get me one, but I put the same condition on it that I’d want a faboo wedding ring if I didn’t have an e-ring. Well he got me a beautiful, well thought-out e-ring AND got the proposal right. Well, the second time around, haha, but that’s another story for another time. Would I be missing a ring now if I didn’t get one? I don’t think so, but I have to admit I look at my ring all throughout the day and smile.

    Post # 16
    643 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    We didn’t actually plan on getting one at all. But then right before we got officially engaged, my mom gave me the diamond my dad gave her. And since I was going to get it set into a RHR anyways, we figured we could just have it set and I’d wear it on my left hand. 

    So, no, I wouldn’t care. I did notice, however, that vendors etc. started taking me more seriously when I had the ring. I would have found it annoying having people be suspicious about whether I’m engaged the whole way through.

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