Post # 1
This weekend, out of the blue, my little brother texted me and asked if it was okay if he used his plus one for my wedding in 2.5 months. I didn’t even know he was dating anyone. I said sure, because I don’t find it a big deal. I was more in shock that he had a girlfriend who he wanted to take home to meet my family. This will be the first time that he has ever taken a girl home.
Last weekend was also the first time my parents have heard of this girl existing, and they sounded less than… enthused about this developement. I think they would pefer to meet her at some point in time when they didn’t have a million things going on. There are other concerns that they likley have with my brother still being in school and financially dependent on them that might make them a little hesitant about him dating period.
She won’t be in any formal pictures, and we aren’t really having any pictures at our reception other than of speaches, first dances and cake cutting. There won’t be a lot of opertunities for her to be in a lot of pictures, so I’m not worried about that. Really, I just feel like she might not have a good time as she won’t know anyone and my brother is a groomsman.
I can see my parents side, but I’m not overly worried other than her having a bad time. Please note, I’m not taking back my yes to inviting her, but I’m curious as to what other Bees would do.
Post # 2
I can relate on a different level. My parents are divorced and his long time girlfriend wanted to come to the wedding so my dad asked if he could bring her. Long story short, I don’t really like her but didn’t want to hurt my dad. My mom doesn’t get along with her so she just kept her distance. She wasn’t in any pictures really and didn’t ask to be. It wasn’t terribly awkward, or as bad as I thought. I would just go with it, and be nice to her. She didn’t impact my wedding so looking back I wouldn’t change it.
Post # 3
I started dating my SO while we were still in school and financially dependent. I don’t think that means much, a lot of people meet in college. It would, however, be nice to meet her before the wedding
Post # 4
Misswhowedding: On a family level, I guess it’s a little weird that he is taking her to a wedding when she doesn’t know your family and they are such a new couple. But maybe the wedding buzz is making him want to commit.
All that aside, a plus one is that person’s plus one. Unless you put a name on the invite, whomever that person wants to bring should be of no consequence. Lots of people bring plus ones that don’t know anyone else, it’s quite common, and it’s not your job to worry about whether or not they will be bored. You’ll have plenty else going on 🙂
Post # 5
Misswhowedding: Why would they mind him dating someone? He’s still in school – as in university? I don’t think you can (or should) stop university aged students from dating.
Plus 1s often only know their date at the wedding, and they usually manage to have a good time. I really wouldn’t worry about that. If they haven’t been dating that long, she might be excited about their first fancy evening out.
Post # 6
Your parents wouldn’t allow your brother to date because he’s in school? What’s that about?
Post # 7
I guess I’m not sure what you were expecting when you gave him a +1. When I found out I would be meeting my brother’s girlfriend at my wedding I was very excited. She knew what she was getting into (meeting everyone at once and only knowing my brother who was a GM) when she accepted so I didn’t worry about too much about her.
I’m confused about why being financially independent plays a part in being in a relationship.
Post # 8
HeHowe must like this girl to bring him to your family wedding, you never know she might be the one for him in a few years! And if she’s in a few pics what’s the big deal? Even if they don’t date in a few weeks it will be something to remember for years to come.
Post # 9
MOHlookingForIdeas: oneofthesethings: MrsBeck: My parents are warry about dating while you are still in college. There are a few reasons behind it. In my brother’s case, he has had trouble in the past juggling responsiblities. He should be done this semester, but screwed up with time managment and had to retake a class and now won’t be done until 2015 due to pushing back other things. They are mostly afraid that he will do something similar again.
Again, I’m not concerned about this, I’m mostly letting my parents concern make me question myself. Really what I expected out of him having a plus one is that he wouldn’t bring anyone. Him dating someone is VERY new (a this weekend development) I’m not worried about her being there. I’m mostly giving in a bit to how my parents sounded discussing this, which was not at all happy.
Post # 10
You gave him a plus one, he’s using his plus one. Just cuz he’s in school doesn’t mean he can’t date…..jesus that’s ridiculous. If I were him and I read this, I would seriously rethink introducing anyone to my family if this was what they thought of me.
Post # 11
Are there any informal (or formal) pre-wedding events that she might be able to attend with your brother? That would give her a chance to meet people beforehand.
I would be very excited to meet her at the wedding. I find your comment about dating whilst studying to be very odd, that is when the majority of couples meet. Now if they were already talking marriage, I could see how that might be a issue but they aren’t, they are just dating.
Post # 12
Misswhowedding: My brother got a new gf about a month before my wedding, after the invitations had gone out (to him and his ex). I think I met her once, briefly, before the wedding. It was absolutely no problem her being there (and not the ex of course).
There’s no need for you to be worried whether she’ll have a good time. She and your brother know her better than you, and they have decided she’ll be alright.
Post # 13
I went to FIs cousins wedding after we had only been dating for about 1 month. We were both still in high school at the time. I had a nice time meeting some of his family. It was a little overwhelming at times but im glad that i went.
Post # 14
Misswhowedding: I honestly would have thought the majority of marriages/relationships start in college (mine did), so your parents objections are likely not to be understood by many. Your wedding is still a few months off, so maybe your family will have a chance to meet her before then. I would be happy for my brother to have someone special enough in his life to be a +1 at a family wedding.