- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
I read this article the other day and I wondered how many folks would actually do this - so I thought I'd ask the Hive!
If you had the opportunity to choose your child's gender, would you do so?
Do you think FI / DH would want to?
And if so would you both want the same gender, do you think?
Oh this is such a good question!!!
Mr. DG knows that I want a girl so badly... He doesn't care either way. Since our first child will be biological and our second adopted, we just decided that we would leave it up to fate on the first one, but pick for the second by adopting the gender of our choice.
Oh and I should say that in the end we would be just as happy with either... Just want a healthy happy child!
Did you know that there are whole articles written on "gender disappointment"? I'm going to go look for a link.
Seems like the original article is blocked, but this article links to a version of it.
http://womensrights.change.org/blog/view/its_a_girl_art_being_used_to_favor_daughters_over_sons
I don't think I would. When I had my son I wanted a boy and FI wanted a girl. I liked being suprised when we went and found out the gender. I mean I might consider it now that I have a boy and want to have a girl, but if I did have a boy then I guess that's what was meant to be. I'm 50/50 about it. Maybe or maybe not. I guess it would depend on the situation.
I definitely wouldn't. I would be thrilled with children of either sex and I'd hate to intervene like that... I'm not really a religious or superstitious person, but I'd always wonder if I didn't get the child I was "meant" to have. It's silly, but I don't think I'd ever stop wondering that.
I'd like to say I want it to be a surprise because I love when people don't find out till the baby's born. And I'd want to do the same - it's the only real true surprise in life I think.
That said, as long as it was proven and safe, I probably would do it.
I wouldn't want to pick, I'd rather leave it up to genetics and the cosmos. I think it'll be fun not knowing for the first few months!
I'm OK with more reproductive technology than most people, but I don't think I could destroy embryos for the reason that they are the wrong gender. Disease? I understand. But gender, no.
I wouldn't and I know the Mr. wouldn't he doesn't even want to know the sex when we are pregnant let alone choosing ahead of time!
I can't help but wonder how it will affect the gender ratio of our population and the problem that would cause if the world was becoming predominantly male or female.
Oh I forgot to say what I would do....lol....
Like Dancy, I would want to be surprised....I love the idea of the baby popping out, crying, and then the doctor saying, "You have a daugher!" or "You have a son!".
I think that would just be one of the most precious moments of my life!
Can't say what FI would do since I um, don't know who he is yet! LOL 
Even though I so desperately want a little girl when I have children, I think I would rather leave it up to fate. Choosing gender just starts down a slippery slope - ethics start to come into play here. Like the article pointed out, many countries, such as China and India, favor boys.
One of my classmates in nursing school had three boys - and during our maternity rotation, she confessed that she cried when her third son was born becuase she wanted a girl so badly. Of course she loves her boys...but I understand the whole concept of "gender disappointment".
FI doesn't really care wether we have a boy or a girl - I would ideally like both, but I really hope we have a little girl at some point.
I don't think I would...I don't think I'd be able to decide which gender I'd want, haha!!! I'd rather just leave it up to fate!
@chicagobride090210: I should have read the article first! I thought it allowed for gender selection; I didn't realize it was for gender screening and destruction of wrong-gendered embryos. I'm with you; I'm not on board with selecting gender in this way.
Gender disappointment is such a big thing; I think most of the stories/websites I've read are all about couples who have multiple children of the same gender and have been trying for years to have just one child of the other gender. It's kinda sad, and I could definitely see how those parents might consider something like this.
I would say we wouldn't choose this option, but we do both want to have at least one boy and one girl. If that didn't happen for us with the first three kids, we might consider picking the gender of our last child.
Okay just read the article (should have read it before I replied). I would absolutely not destroy embryos of the wrong sex! Never in a million years. I know it's not abortion or anything, but that's kind of how I feel about it. That would be like harming one sex for the other, and I'm not okay with that at all. And that is so sad about China. I recently read an article about little girls being born and put up for adoption or even murdered. That is so horrible!!
I wouldn't choose, I'm happy with whatever I will get! My fiance really wants at least one boy but I know he'll be happy with girls too. I grew up in a family of all girls, so I think if I had girls I would feel comfortable, but I think if I had boys it would be exciting to experience the other side. I just hope for health!
OMG faint wrong gender destruction definitely not. however gender selection before a gender is determined (is that possible, i don't think so).. with that being said i'd really want a daughter this go around. I have a son, m has a son and daughter and sometimes i crave for a little girl that looks like us. we probably aren't having anymore kids so it's good and i won't have this discussion.
btw this is what i wanted to do for a living, embryonic research (sad face) i am intrigued by it and actually it's one of my favorite areas of medicine/research because of all of the ethical intricacies and the fact that human life is so miraculous (sp?) but only the joining of a few cells to make a few more etc. after all all cell start off at a certain point the exact same, hence the reason we can grow noses in a petri dish... sorry i am REALLY passionate about this subject.
There are other methods that you can theoretically sway the gender (such as the Shettles method that operates on the theory that boy sperm are faster and girl sperm are slower). I don't know how effective it is, but I know that people sometimes use that to try and get the gender they want without using an invasive methodology.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shettles_Method
Would people try that?
If it could happen at the flip of a switch, I would for sure, so I could have a boy and a girl. But since that's not the case, I wouldn't.
I'm one of 4 girls and I know my parents wanted a boy, that's why they kept trying! They had boy names picked out for all of us but never got to use them. I'm sure they would have never gone the route in the article if given the chance though. I think whatever you are blessed with is meant to be.
@Mrs. DG: I would do that, if it were important to us to choose... mostly because it's not really that effective of a method from what I understand and doesn't feel much like playing god... and I'd still be happy with whichever gender I ended up with.
Yeah, I don't see anything wrong with hanging from the chandeliers to increase your chances of a boy or girl, I just couldn't destroy a boy or girl embryo just for being a boy or girl. I also wouldn't mind selecting the sperm, if that ever becomes possible. I'm pro-choice, but I still think that there's just something different about destroying an embryo because of its sex.
I would never do it for the simple fact that it wasn't meant to be that way. I wouldn't want to mess with that sort of thing.
Oh I should have been clearer in my OP, I didn't mean necessarily by gender destruction - as Mrs.DG noted, there are other definitely other methods.
Sorry, foggy head tonight, makes for foggy posts I guess!
@ Lorienne - I think you should make this a poll (maybe separating selection into destructive and non-distructive methods). I would be curious to see how people respond (and I think that the relative anonymity of the poll would give us a better idea - I think some people who would destroy embryo's would hesitate to state it in a post!
@mrs dg: a friend used that method and was 100% correct on the gender... and the chinese gender predictor is a really accurate predictor (if you conceive during a certain month) it usually only helps after conception let you know what it is though.
@ Lorienne -- *whew* thanks for clearing that up. I just re-read the thread & I'm with Spaniel, I didn't read the whole article I didn't know it had to do with destruction. Lesson learned: I should read things fully before I comment on them.
I agree that a poll would be fun... Hopefully it would include my "pick gender by adopting" option ;)
If I could make a wish and just decide what we wanted to have without any moral decisions to make, then it magically worked out that way, you bet I'd pick the gender of my kids!
I'm already nervous...going over and over in my head "what if we have 2 boys? what if we have 2 girls? What if we want one of the other?! OMG!" because we each want one of each....I really don't want all boys or all girls!
And I HAVE had a friend tell me that if you um, take care of him first, THEN have sex, it gets "out" the boy sperm, lol...
ejs!!!!!!!! That makes perfect sense after reading what DG posted! I'm def. gonna keep that one in mind! hehe
Neither of us would ever choose to do that. You should be happy with whichever Mother Nature decides to bless you with. Otherwise, it becomes no different from other countries that try to completely eradicate a certain gender. While it isn't specifically infanticide, the concept is the same in that people don't want a certain gender and try to modify science to go along with that. Many people would agree that it's not ethical.
As far as adoption is concerned, I have a friend who tried unsuccessfully to have kids and she always dreamed about having a girl. But when the time came, it worked out in their favor that they were able to adopt a boy. And while she says he is a handful, she wouldn't trade him in a million years for a girl now if the opportunity arose.
I'd leave the first one up to fate, then choose the second one. I want one of each. I'd be okay with 2 girls, but I'd love for Mr. R to have a little boy to do "man things" with. I'd be pissed if I had 2 boys though. I'd be like- I carried them for 18 months combined, and I still don't get a little girl to do fun girly things with? Yeah, I'm getting pissed off just thinking about it. If I end up with 2 boys, one of them better be gay and love the color pink, damnit.
edit: I also didn't read the article, whoops. I'm totally pro-choice, but considering these people are TRYING to get pregnant, I'm definitely against destroying embyos to "pick" that's just selfish and messed up.
LOL @ Rainbow. Seriously, I agree. My [future] second son better take me shopping with him at Kleinfelds.
I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to select genders. People do it through adoption, as I think others have mentioned. But I wouldn't destroy an embryo because it was the "wrong" gender, and I would be very hesitant to tamper with my offspring's genetics, not because I think its morally wrong, but because I would be afraid of any side effects or other unknown consequences.
Having said that, I am looking into the Shettles method, Mrs. DG! I really want one girl and one boy, so it would be nice to "arrange" it that way!
Nope!! Even though I want a little girl!! Will only have 2 kids and if both were to be boys, we would adopt the girl!
We're both ok with either gender, though a mix would be nice! Either way, screening embryos is not something either of us is ok with.
That said, if we decide down the line we would like either a boy or a girl to round things out, sexed semen is an option. This technology is actually used quite frequently in cattle already (especially dairy cattle) with very high success rates and no embryos are destroyed.
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| rachgirl82 | 39 |
| pengoala | 33 |
| MissBoPeep | 28 |
| Future Army Wife | 20 |
| Beckster329 | 19 |
| couawilou | 18 |
| Sunfire | 18 |
| KatNYC2011 | 15 |
 vorpalette |
15 |
| beargoose | 14 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| roxy821 | 5 |
| MsBrooklynA | 3 |
| hergreenapples | 1 |
| mommytobee | 1 |
| Beebug | 1 |
| blueskye | 1 |
| libanez | 1 |
| Aurevoirbaby |
1 |
