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I wouldn't try to make a point of it, but if this is someone you see fairly often I would 100% mention that not only did you have to shell out $40.00 fo his stupidity but someone also lost there job b/c of it! I would find it very difficult NOT to say something.
I probably wouldn't. Just because there's nothing anyone can do about it now so there's no need for an awkward conversation. I would sum it up to everyone having a little too much to drink at an awesome party and things getting slightly out of hand. Could have been much worse!
As DH and I were leaving our after party (which was paid for by us), the security guy asked if we wanted to end it early since so many people 'didn't need another hour of drinking'. There were a lot of drunkies at our after party! We weren't concerned b/c no one was driving home and it's a wedding for gosh sakes! If you can't get obliterated at a wedding after party at 1:30am, when can you?? So the venue may look down a little at us for that, but I was more concerned with everyone having a good time and remembering my wedding as a little crazy/awesome instead of somethign they were reprimanded for.
I would think I *should* speak to them... but I prob wouldn't but ugh... the drama.
Your not crazy..I would be pissed you just spent money on a all you could drink bar and that wasnt enough for them... Im sorry that a friend did that to yall. I just wonder why the one guy threw the other guy under the bus when he was part of it too???
I think they definitely owe you $40 at the least. And the fact that the bartender lost her job?! That's awful.
Honestly, I'd just let that go. Sucks that they did it. But people do stupid things while drinking.
In the grand scheme of things, to me $40 bucks isn't worth getting that upset over. The place treated you well but it was the bartender who let you know about the theft and then pocketed the money (!) so I wouldn't worry too much about it.
ETA - oh wait...did I mis-read this? Did the bartender pocket the money and that's why she was fired? Or they fired her for confronting you and demanding the bottle be paid for? If so, that sucks. And that would be the thing I would confront them on. Just to let them know that their stupidity cost someone her job. But I still wouldn't demand $40 bucks from them.
I think I agree with Moderndaisy...I would just chalk it up to everyone having too much to drink and acting stupid. I don't think I would say anything. There isn't a whole lot anyone can do about it now.
I don't know that I would say anything to the friend(s) who stole the wine b/c they may have been drunk and doing what drunk people sometimes do...act stupid. However, I would send a nice note to the venue thanking them for doing such a great job and being so accomodating and apologizing for the theft. I mean...it was beyond your control but I am sure the venue would still appreciate the gesture.
Hmmm, differing opinions! I just really want them to give us the $40. Especially because one of the friends, T, didn't give us anything. Not even a card. Soooo, we paid for your plate and your bottle of wine? Wtf. My Mom is also pissed because they had the nerve to do this while my Mom and my husband's Mom were in the pub. As if they were thinking clearly enough to be more respectful since moms were in the room. She's funny.
The bartender losing her job made me feel awful! I asked the manager to change her mind! But she said she had no right to accept the money. That the bottle of wine wasn't a big deal to the establishment. And she never reported the extra money. No bueno.
I thinkthis is what you should say:
"Hey C and T, we know what happened with the wine. The wedding staff treated us really well, and it made us look bad that someone stole. We ended up just paying for the bottle, but it was a negative and annoying blotch on an otherwise great day. Honestly, I'm not going to make a federal case out of it, we were all partying and having a good time. But I am going to give you an opportunity to apologize. I hope you will do so, so we can just forget about this."
Well the bartender got fired off her own stupidty so I can't really feel bad about her being fired...
I would WANT to say something but I would probably just end up letting it go. Stealing is not cool or okay but it doesnt sound like either one will care or pay up.
I cant believe the bartender lost her job! How horrible!
Im kinda on the fence if you should say somthing or not.
@monitajb- that's a great way of putting it. Just so we can move past it. Its not like I want them to beg for forgiveness. Its just a matter of principle. Yes, we all know drunk people do dumb things, we've all probably done really dumb things while drinking. But we should also cop to it. An apology and DONE.
I wouldn't go out of my way to say something about it, but if I saw them again i would certainly let them know that their theft cost $40 and someones job. Whether or not they actually feel bad, they should know the consequences of their actions and perhaps think twice before doing it again.
I think monitajb said it perfectly. It's exactly what I would do. Better to straighten it out now than hate them forever.
Oh, well, if she didn't ring up the bottle of wine as a "sold" transaction, she just pocketed the $40 and yeah, she should lose her job for that. No more sympathy from me!
Maybe your friend T is too embarassed, so if your FI just says, "look, you did this and it was stupid and wrong, but we paid $40 to cover you ass, and we'd appreciate it if you just paid us back and it'll never be brought up again".
I'd just let it go.
At the end of the day, C and T were probably drunk and as the hosts, you are responsible for the actions of the people you invite. So consider the $40 sunk cost, and move on.
I think it was really ridiculous of the bartender to both YOU on your wedding night for $40. Sorry, but you should NOT have been bothered. I think it is her fault.
Complicated, since the bartender kinda went against the business that would just have ignorned it. But.........since he didn't get you anything I'd definately call and say 'so how'd you enjoy the fancy gift we got you in celebration of our marriage. Just cost $40 and one persons job but I think it was def worth it.'
Okay, sorry to post again- but I would let it go. I do not think the venure treated you well. I think you deserve an apology from them and that girl deserves to be fired. SHE stole from you. I would be pissed at her, and especially for bothering you and stealing your money on your wedding night. I would be so pissed!
hahahaha @ troubled- that sounds like exactly the kind of sarcastic thing I would say!
I actually just got a call from the banquet manager apologizing again about the bartender bothering us. She is sending us a gift certificate to another property of theirs that has an amazing restaurant. That's so nice of them! Guess I can chalk it up to having paid $40 for a $100 gift certificate!
I'd call them up & tell them what happened. Their stupidity caused a lot of heartache. I wouldn't ask for the money back, I'd just hope my talk/guilt trip would make them feel like crap & that they'd be man enough to apologize.
@jennifer_espos:Wow, that is an AWESOME outcome! I would call that an unintended 60$ gift form C and T!
I might say something to C and T though in a joking manner next time you run into them, like "Ha, you guys were nuts at our wedding, I mean a 40$ bottle of wine from behind the bar? Oh, yeah, we know and paid for it that night. Its okay its in the past." I know this is slightly passive aggresive, but I would need to say it or something. That way you kind of sting them to get it out of your system, they possibly decide not to do that at someone else's wedding, and you don't sound angry... and woo hoo! 100$ date night for you and your hubby!
Awesome you got the $100 gift certificate... kinda funny thou, you wanted to apologize to the company & they ended up apologizing to you!
It sucks that the bartender lost her job, but she technically stole money from the company. It wasn't YOUR fault she wasn't honest, I know you feel bad but if she stole from them, than she was probably doing that at other weddings.
I would bring it up with your friend. I would say that bottle of wine you guys took cost us $40! Maybe say it in a joking/teasing manner, don't sound mad thou. Once they realize what they did, they'll probably feel bad. If they offer to pay you back for it, I'd accept it. Maybe they didn't realize anyone would have to pay for it. Cause I can see someone thinking, oh free alcohol, lets take an entire bottle cause its free anyways! You said they were nice guys, so they probably thought it was fun & funny & didn't realize what they were doing.
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Just curious what you guys would do. I'm also hoping I haven't become overly confrontational. Because the following scenario happened to us and I'd like my husband to address it but he doesn't want to. Allow me to explain:
Ok, so we had an amazing wedding (aside from a few stupid things but we'll ignore that stuff). And in the venue is a really cute, quaint pub/restaurant. They usually close by the time our reception was over but because so many people wanted to continue partying, they remained open just for us. So we were all hanging out there, having a good time. Our banquet manager stopped down to hang out even. Anyway, we all decide to call it a night. As we're leaving the bartender comes up to us and says that someone has stolen a bottle of wine. Wth? Why would you do that? You just had an open bar for 5 hours! We apologize and hand her $40 to make up for the lose (she later got fired for taking the money-oops!).
After the honeymoon my husband's friend, we'll name him C, called us and said it was their mutual friend, his name will be T, who stole it. I thought it was strange that he felt the need to 'fess up' randomly about it, but whatev. Ha, later we find out that another friend saw what happened. The friend that saw it is a great guy, an honeset guy. He just never brought it up to us because he didn't know it turned into a big deal, until he found out that we paid for it. Turns out, that C, the one who called us and said it was T, was in on it too. T grabbed the wine and C walked out with it (how ghetto is that).
That's the jist of it. So now, when I find this out I'm pissed. I know its just a bottle of wine but this place treated us so well, and this makes us look horrible! So I tell my husband he has to talk to them. He's totally not as pissed... huh? Why wouldn't you be? Your friends just showed a complete lack of respect. And C totally lied to you, get angry dummy! But he's a passive guy, a sweet guy... but come on! I think my husband should call them, it doesn't have to be in a confrontational way. But they owe us an apology and $40. Right? Or am I just crazy?