Post # 1
Would you like to upgrade your ring at some point?
If so, how would you bring this up to your husband?
Do you think it would hurt him?
Who would pay for it?
I ask because I would like to change my setting. My e-ring is very simple and thin (2mm) and I love it, but I feel that a thicker band (4mm) would showcase the diamond more (1.5 carat round). My wedding band is a 5 stone band (4mm thick), so I feel it overpowers my engagement ring. I think a thicker, higher, cathedral-esque setting would draw more attention to my e-ring instead. I also want a platinum setting as my wedding band is platinum.
I’m also thinking of getting a 2 carat moissanite, but am still undecided about this.
I have been married 14ish months, so I feel that it might be too soon to ask for a change, but I’ve been obsessing about a new setting for quite some time. I’m afraid to bring it up because my husband spent everything he had on my ring and right after buying it he only had $50 left in his account. He really wanted me to have this ring. I am willing to pay for this all on my own.
Settings I Like:
What have your experiences been with talking about upgrades and doing them? was your hubby responsive or defensive or supportive?
Post # 3
If I were you, I wouldn’t bring it up. Considering he spent almost everything he had on the ring (yikes!), I’m sure it would crush him if you felt it wasn’t enough. Maybe revisit this in a few years.
Post # 4
I’d wait longer…like years longer
Post # 5
Could you just buy yourself a moissanite ring and keep the ering as it is?
Post # 6
I don’t plan on upgrading the ring/diamond that he proposed with. I plan to always have it as a symbol of the proposal. I would ask for more jewelry, though 🙂 I frequently wear my engagement ring on my right hand, so I plan to ask for bands to stack on my left hand for anniversaries…maybe 1 year, 5 year?
I have that first setting (the cathedral) and I love it 🙂 I tried for like 15m just now to post a photo from my phone but no dice. I have a 1ct RB H VVS1 and it is BEAUTIFUL in that setting. My band is a 10-princess cut solitaire half eternity and they’re so simple and so pretty together. Great choice!
Post # 7
I wouldn’t ask. He searched to pick the ring for you. if it is just because you like it I would get a RHR with a different stone in it. I thought about making my stone bigger, but i thought about it for like 5 min. His feelings are MUCH more important than making your ring “just right”. IMO
Post # 8
We’ve already talked about the possibility. We’re young now, and definitely can’t afford much. We have talked ability a larger stone further into the future if I want one, but I don’t know if I ever would. I’m pretty sentimental so I don’t think I’d be able to change my ring!
Post # 9
@Ellegee: oh please please post a pic when you can. from a few angles 🙂
How thick is your band too? I would LOVE to see a photo on your hand and with your wedding band. thanks!
Post # 10
i voted that it depends.
i loooove my rings and wouldn’t trade them for anything, but because of the setting, the diamonds fall out relatively easily. i’ve had 2 diamonds fall out in about a year’s time. i haven’t even been wearing my ring for the last month because a diamond fell out and i’ve been waiting for it to be replaced 🙁
my husband keeps saying that we can upgrade/change it, but i hate to do that! but if it becomes too much of a nuisance to have it sent in for repairs all the time, i may consider choosing something else so i don’t have to be so paranoid about it.
Post # 11
at some point, i would like to get a better quality diamond. DH knows this already… I didn’t feel bad saying anything because I am the one who picked it out and we were already sharing money so I kinda paid for it too.
It may not happen… but if it did, it would be 5 year anniversary or later.
Post # 12
My fi is already talking about an uprade. I LOVE my ring, however I went with a very moderate priced ering & wedding band set. [Was about $450 total]. [The e-ring 19 diamonds, almost a carat, and the band is 13 diamonds, about 3/4 carat]. He wanted to get me something much, much bigger. So we will upgrade, but not likely anytime soon.
Post # 13
He spent about 6 months taking me to umptiump jewelry stores in 3 different cities figuring out our exact taste in every aspect, then hunting down just the right the diamond (we met “our” diamond -same exact diamond, GIA number inscribed- in 2 different cities, and between those times, it had visited Hong Kong), and then working with the jeweler to create the setting… he would stay up late at night on worknights, poring over CAD images, tweaking this or that tiny detail.
Needless to say, this ring will have to be pried off my cold dead hand!
Now, right hand rings, on the other hand… (literally!) 😀
Post # 14
My husband hates my engagement ring. It causes him real anguish when it is brought up, so we don’t talk about it and I advise others to not talk about it. He was not able to propose to me with the ring he wanted because his mother convinced him I would hate it, and then Blue Nile stopped selling it all together.
I love my ring, and I wouldn’t upgrade, but I might eventually have to to keep my husband happy and to stop him from berating himself over something so trivial.
However, if my husband had spent literally all he had on my ring, there is absolutely no way I would “upgrade” and if you feel you want to, I think you should pay for it. He proposed, you married him, his end of the deal is now done and finished. Anything extracurricular would be up to you.
Post # 15
@lilsweetie: sure, I’ll get some pictures up when I’m on the computer 🙂
Post # 16
My fiancé when he proposed said he was happy to change the ring or get me a bigger stone. I said no as i loved that he had taken the time to choose this ring.
But… When it came to wedding bands I found no straight band fits next to my ring because the prongs get in the way and I hated the curved bands. So we decided to go change my engagement ring. I picked another out with a thicker band, more diamonds in and a matching wedding ring. Slept on it overnight and decided I couldn’t do it!! I know, I turned down diamonds?!? Wtf?? So you may find when it comes down to it you’re too sentimental to do it? So really think it thought before speaking to him about it.
But I just got too sentimental about it. So I’ve decided I will deal with the gap. My advice is even though he spent lots of money he won’t mind upgrading as he probably wanted you to have the best ring in the shop but couldn’t afford it and when you can he will be able to get you the ring he wanted to.Although I would say maybe wait a little longer? Or instead choose a gorgeous eternity band (given after your first child or 5yrs of marriage) so you’re adding rather than replacing? Just a thought!
Oh and re the high setting, it does look gorgeous but gets caught on EVERYTHING! Andwary sure to check your wedding band will still sit next to it properly xx