Post # 1
… you went to a wedding and the bride and groom ditched some traditions?
– We don’t want to be introduced after the ceremony
– We don’t want a first dance – instead we want the DJ to say something like ‘the bride and groom have opted not to have a traditional first dance, instead they would like to invite everyone up onto the floor to share the first dance with them’
– We don’t want speeches. My Dad’s going to stand up and say ‘We’re not going to force you into listening to half an hour of speeches, just thank you all for coming and let’s get drunk’
– We don’t want a head table, we want a few smaller round tables and we’ll sit right there with the guests.
We just don’t want the whole thing to be us, us, us – frankly we don’t like the attention! Would you consider this rude?
Post # 4
ZebraPrintMe: Not rude.
We did not do tosses of any kind, cut our first dance song so it was short, didn’t cut cake, didn’t have a wedding party, sat with our siblings at a round table just like the guests.’
Some people want all those traditions and it’s fine but I think it’s perfectly ok to structure the day in a way that suits you 🙂
Post # 2
Nope. I like all the changes you want to make!
Post # 9
ZebraPrintMe: Its not rude but I would think it extremely odd that you were going out of your way to point out things you weren’t doing – just don’t do them.
For example, it would be much more charming for the DJ to announce that the couple would like everyone to join in their first dance. Or, start the dance by yourselves and then have the DJ invite the guests to join you after a minute or too.
I do think you should rethink getting introduced. You just got married – the introduction is the first public acknowledgement of that and frankly, I think it would be awkward to skip it.
Dont have your Dad make a speech about no speeches – just don’t do them. And definitely don’t allow him or anyone else make a joke about being there to get drunk – that’s just tacky. This is your wedding – not a frat party.
Post # 3
ZebraPrintMe: I’m ok with everything except your Dad suggesting that everyone “just get drunk”. I would hope that people can party and have a good time without getting drunk.
Post # 5
I wouldn’t consider it rude, just different but not bad.
Post # 6
julies1949: That’s just a joke, really. It’s up to him what he says but it probably won’t really be that! Though heck, if people want to get a little tipsy they can 🙂
Post # 7
ZebraPrintMe: I definitely would not call that rude. Weddings should be a reflection of the couple and do what YOU want to do… don’t let traditions dictate that. I’m not planning on doing any of that either! But then, I am only inviting 11 people…
Post # 10
OP, it sounds like your wedding will be very similar to mine and we’ve actually had a really positive response from everyone 😀
We’re doing mismatched bridesmaids, no couples entrance, no speeches, no cake etc
Post # 8
No I don’t think it’s “rude.” Honestly, if anyone thinks anything of the above is “rude” they need their head checked. Will some of the “old timers” and more traditional people think it’s odd? Sure. I am having a non traditional wedding myself in order to make it more about me and my FI and less about “traditions.”
Some of these things above are such time wasters anyways. No one will miss three or four speeches. The introduction is something fun, but certainly not necessary.
My FI and I have opted against a head table as well. I particularly find them outdated and unnecessary, especially for the bridesmaids and groomsmen. We will be having a sweetheart table as well.
Post # 11
- Wedding: June 2015 - Malibou Lake Mountain Club
ZebraPrintMe: not rude at all!
First of all, its you guys’ wedding: do what makes you both happy.
Second: people will always talk (from the flowers, to the cake, etc); but they will forget.
Third: doing it you guys’ way will be unique and beautiful.
I am saying this because I have gone to weddings where they have changed a few things, and it was BEAUTIFUL! also, my FI and I are from different ethnicities, and have different cultures/beliefs, and BOY will that be different. HAHA.
ENJOY and CONGRATS!
Post # 12
Why would any of that be rude!? You’re having your wedding how you want, and it’s going to be fun! I’m sure people will be thanking you instead 😉
Post # 14
ZebraPrintMe: Nope, definitely not rude. The things you’re removing are typically only things the bride and groom care about. I would be much happier going to a wedding like yours vs. a more traditional one. I’d be willing to bet that some people won’t even notice they changes you’re making.
Post # 13
Zhabeego: I’ve already clarified that the getting drunk bit was a joke. Nobody’s actually going to say that. Also, if I’m honest I think the idea of being introduced is awful. I don’t care if it’s ‘public acknowledgement’, it’s basically drawing all the attention to yourselves and that’s something neither me nor FI are interested in. We believe it’s possible to have a wedding without having the attention constantly on you, so that’s what we’re trying to do. Not that other people can’t or shouldn’t, but it’s not our thing.
Post # 15
canuckandakiwi: That’s also a good point – we won’t be doing any tosses of any kind! I’ll be keeping my flowers and NOBODY is going to see it if I choose to wear a garter!!