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Would you consider this STEALING?

posted 1 year ago in Beehive
  • 1 Members Subscribed To Topic
  • poll: Guests taking bottles from the bar home without asking = stealing?
    Yes, it's stealing : (56 votes)
    97 %
    No, this is normal wedding etiquette, it's assumed. : (2 votes)
    3 %
  •  
    1.
    Member
    112 posts
    Blushing bee
    lolony    August 2010  

    We just had our wedding a couple of weeks ago and I have a nagging question...

    Our bartenders had to leave an hour before our wedding was over, so guests were welcome to help themselves to drinks at the bar. I found out at the end of the evening that several drunken guests took bottles of liquor and wine for their own consumption (or to their own afterparty) WITHOUT asking us or our coordinator.

    Is this normal? Am I overreacting by feeling a little hurt, and thinking this is no different from showing up at a party and taking things from a host's home? I'm pretty sure nobody would have done this is we/bartenders were behind the bar.

     

     

     
    2.
    14,581 posts
    Honey
    Beekeeper
    ejs4y8    June 20, 2009  

    Wow that is really tacky, sorry man

     
    3.
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    2,896 posts
    Sugar bee
    beekiss2      

    That's stealing.  I'd be upset but I'm not sure what you could do.

     
    4.
    Member
    102 posts
    Blushing bee
    skybride    September 17, 2011  

    I agree with ejs4y8. Not just stealing, but tacky.

     
    5.
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    Sugar bee
    mishelleez    November 5, 2010   DW- Bahamas

    WOW! that is horrible I would be so mad if my guests did that!

     
    6.
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    4,019 posts
    Honey bee
    jennifer_espos    June 18, 2010   NYC

    That isn't cool at all in my book.  That is essentially stealing from you guys.  If nothing else, its just disrespectful.  Sorry that happened!  If it makes you feel better, my husbands friend stole a bottle of wine from behind the bar at the after party... while the bartender wasn't looking.  Nice.

     
    7.
    Member
    1,776 posts
    Buzzing bee
    PinkPinstripes    November 2011   Boston, MA

    I am assuming you paid for all the liquor there? It wasn't the venues bar? Were you charged more for the bottles they took? 

    It's very rude. However, I can totally see drunk people doing that. It's just plain rude though and even if you were allowed to take the rest of the bar/you paid for all the bottles, they were stealing from you and your husband.

     
    7.
    Hostess
    7,299 posts
    Busy
    Beekeeper
    Gemstone    July 2011   Cincinnati

    Yiiikes. That's bad news and pretty outrageous on the part of your guests.

     
    8.
    2,253 posts
    Buzzing bee
    MandaMack    September 10, 2011   Pittsburgh, PA

    i agree with pp...more tacky then stealing  but theres nothing you can do about it now,  so no worries

     
    9.
    Member
    1,245 posts
    Bumble bee
    realeastcoaster    July 11, 2009   Canada

    Sorry this happened to you - it was definitely wrong. There's nothing you can really do about it now though, so I would just try to forget about it and move on.

     
    10.
    Hostess
    2,787 posts
    Sugar bee
    missjyc    September 18, 2010   macomb, michigan

    not cool! it is DEFINITELY stealing. and i can guarantee those ppl would NOT have done that if there were a bartender throughout the entire night. i hope you didn't have to pay extra for their rude act.

     
    11.
    Member
    186 posts
    Blushing bee
    Miss Bubbles    February 3, 2010  

    Yes, I would say this is stealing. I realize it has nothing directly to do with you. If you were married at a venue which had a bartender, it's pretty unlikely that your guests would have mistaken it for a free-for-all - I've seen "leftovers" taken only from a backyard wedding after the bride & groom gave their OK (seeing as they had provided it)

    Did you have a cash bar or an open bar? Just wondering if you venue will be charging you for the missing bottles.

     
    12.
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    452 posts
    Helper bee
    SouthernTulip    October 23, 2010   Georgia

    I don't necessarily think that was the best behavior on your guests behalf, but at the same time looking at it through vodka goggles I can see how they'd be like "well it's an open bar and already paid for no use in leaving it here..." 

    I'm not saying I condone that, but I can see where they were coming from - even if it wasn't the best behavior and I can totally understand why you'd be a little put off by the situation.

     
    13.
    Member
    435 posts
    Helper bee
    tootietoo2    January 2011  

    Yes it is stealing and yes it is tacky.

     
    14.
    Member
    112 posts
    Blushing bee
    lolony    August 2010  

     Thanks, guys. I needed someone to validate my feelings! My husband has just said it was pretty rude but he's the type to let go of things more easily.

    We paid for the liquor and wine ourselves. We actually did have a lot left over, but we wanted to save some for an event the next day, and also for own use, of course.

    I'm just really disappointed in these "friends"...it's made me think a lot this past few days.

     
    15.
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    3,501 posts
    Sugar bee
    Baileyh    July 24, 2010   Vancouver

    ohh awfully tacky!!!

     
    16.
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    213 posts
    Helper bee
    LacrosseBride    September 1, 2010  

    DH's sister A. got married 2 yrs. ago.  At the wedding, DH's other sister, B., decided to take a bottle of Absolut at the end of the night.  We all went back to her place and drank it.  The just married sister A. got charged $80 for that bottle of Absolut.  Sister B. paid her back ... but had assumed that they bought all the bottles behind he bar.  She diddn't realize that she couldn't just take a bottle.  Sister B. and said that was the most expensive bottle of vodka she ever purchased!  I told her she could've bought a lot more bottles if she went to the liquor store that was litlerally right around the corner!!!

     
    17.
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    Member
    144 posts
    Blushing bee
    aaiimmee    November 13, 2010   Ohio

    That is worse than "stealing", it is disrespectful to you!

     
    18.
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    Member
    210 posts
    Helper bee
    Bunny2010    October 10, 2010   San Diego, CA

    I'd be so tempted to send them an invoice. Pretend you're the venue. Make a word doc with their logo and your address. Include a letter.

    "Dear so-and-so,

    It has come to our attention that you recently attended the wedding of ___ and ___. Later in the evening, several guests have reported seeing you take the following from the bar:

    1-bottle Chateau de Crap Merlot

    1-bottle Southern Comfort

    The bar fee for these bottles is $108.00. Please remit payment to the address below by (30 days from now) or we will have to pursue collection."

     

    But that's just me. Gah! Some people!

     
    19.
    Member
    112 posts
    Blushing bee
    lolony    August 2010  

    I do have to add that at the end of the night, I asked a couple of people if guests took bottles and they said, "yes, but it wasn't our idea"

    And I said "That's not cool"

    I guess word got around and a few of them came back the next morning with the bottles and quietly put them on the bar. We didn't say anything to each other.

    Even though that was a bit of a tail-between-the-legs-unspoken-apology, I can't let it go. The day before the wedding, I told my brother to make sure the cooler of wine was BEHIND the bar so that people don't just help themselves and he said "I hope you don't have the kind of friends who would do that kind of thing"

    Apparently, I do.

     

     
    20.
    Member
    112 posts
    Blushing bee
    lolony    August 2010  

    Bunny2010: I love the invoice idea! haha

     

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