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Just curious.
I am very, very, VERY liberal. I could probably be with a guy who was fiscally conservative, but I wouldn't even give the time of day to a man who opposed gay marriage, who didn't support a woman's right to choose, etc. I'm much more sensitive about the social issues.
well im a moderate and my FH is a conservative, so some things we agree on some things we dont, i always say he THINKS hes conservative but hes really moderate too. but for things as far as values and how we want to live our lives, its not a difference. so i guess if you are in agreement on the things that matter to your everyday lives, then its good to go.
I probably could if he could discuss his views with me intellectually and could agree to disagree. However, if our opinions of deeply rooted political issues that way on my morals were different I could definitely NOT!
Yes but I'd have to be involved politically in groups or have a good "political buddy." Luckily FI and I are both conservatives with VERY similar views.
I'm with you on that - the social issues just hit so close to home! Luckily, my FI sees eye to eye with me on all the major social issues, although we have many differences in other areas! It keeps things interesting, I guess...
When we started out dating, R was socially conservative. It caused huge problems for us, because some of the issues are so important to me. Luckily we were young (14) and after time and real world experience we evened out. He's now just as socially liberal as I am, and we're a great fit. I do NOT think I could be with someone who was anti gay marriage or anti abortion. I just feel too strongly about it - it's not so much that I wouldn't stick with someone I love, I just think those views aren't really cohesive with what I'm looking for.
I'm also VERY liberal, and I don't think I could date someone who didn't agree with my on social issues (the ones you mentioned above).
If it was minor differences, then I wouldn't have a problem. But if he was a major conservative then no. I am a total liberal and I couldn't be with someone who didn't believe in the right to choose, everyone's right to marry, etc.
I don't think I could marry someone whose values were dramatically different than mine, no. What would we bond over? How would we mediate between our differing views when allotting finances, raising our children, merely having conversations with one another? I can't imagine being in a relationship like that, sounds like it paves the way for either a relationship full of fights or a not very intimate relationship, as the partners rarely would open up to avoid clashing. Maybe I'm wrong, but I can't see it working.
i've always been very liberal, and i work in social policy research, and my politics are very related to my values, so dating a conservative just wouldn't have ever worked for me. it's funny though now that i live in dc because my friends are on a much wider range of the political spectrum than any other time in my life. when i first moved here and met fi, i was talking to our best man's gf at the time (who is also liberal) during happy hour, and i didn't realize our best man is conservative. i very loudly said "i'd never ever date a republican!" and then it was really awkward/hilarious.
I'm a Catholic...as of yet, there's no Catholic political party (against abortion, for gay civil rights & civil union, against gay marriage - Catholics view marriage as a sacrament, not a right, for immigration reform, against parts of the healthcare bill, for greater gun-control, etc.), so I'm not really contained by one political party. FI is a liberatarian...so we're economically opposed (Catholics believe in a redistribution of wealth - that's why we give money at church). BUT, we're getting married in June because we love each other, because want to teach our children not only our values & my faith, but also the value of coexisting with those who may disagree with you. As long as the US doesn't start another civil war over abortion/embryonic cell research, I see a long happy marriage in our future.
No on social issues, but FI and I do have differing views on environmentalism, and we both work in environmental fields: him, actual conservationist (he conserves land for a living); me, private land use and water lawyer (mining and development permitting, water transfers, etc.). I am practical on environmentalism, he is a radical. So on something really important, we don't agree. And yet!
Not if we had RADICALLY different points of view. I am extremely liberal to the point of being borderline socialist. i couldn't date a confirmed republican. I can date someone who isn't AS liberal as me or someone who has similar values but some different ideas. My FI is more moderate than I am but he still is socially liberal and is open to my points of view.
My FI and I could not be further on opposite ends of the spectrum... and politics are not something either one of us take lightly. I don't know how it works, but it does. We're both really open minded about what the other has to say, without losing our own political identities. We have a really good relationship, despite it all. There is actually a Luke Bryan song that perfectly sums us up. The guy wears cowboy boots a drives a rusty chevy and the liberal girl gets him to go to a "sushi, vegi, raw, and edgy natural stuff" restaurant. :)
FH and I have differing view points on solutions to political/government problems but we don't differ that much ultimately.
I would not choose someone who has drastically different political views than I do. It would be like talking to my Mom all day - she's about the polar opposite.
I find that interesting, because I am a conservative republican, but I am for gay marriage and pro-choice. I think what I find most interesting during political discussions is the assumption that one party = one mind.
dated, yes...married, no
there was this guy who met my "checklist", but now I realize it probably wouldn't have worked out, bc he was so conservative...just to play "IF", we probably wouldn't talk about politics very much, which is what I have to do with my parents now
Yep. FI and I are quite different actually and it still works for us. I yell and rant about how crazy he must be to have those views and he just laughs at me and stands his ground. We usually end up voting accross the board, completely opposite of one another. I don't think we need to agree on everything... how boring would that be?!
Nope! Not that FI and I agree on everything, but talking about the world's events and politics is one of our favorite things to do together and makes up a good chunk of our interactions....I just can't imagine not having a similar outlook and feeling like we were working towards the same goals. And HELLS no on disagreeing on the social issues. Friends, yes, totally great in a lot of ways to have different views so that you can learn from one another. But I feel like with FI we're on the same team and supporting each other's views.
Sure. Major differences in religious/spiritual beliefs would be a problem, but politics aren't that big of a deal. Then again, I have someone who shares my mind in most things, so I guess that's easy for me to say! We both have constitutional/libertarian stripes and don't trust the government or its parties. I think I may have stronger opinions on social issues though.
I NEVER thought I could or would. And then, I did! Surprised the hell out of myself!
The thing is, I'm really liberal, and over the years I have really "educated" the hubs on many social issues. After 9 years together, he'd like to think he's a lot more conservative than he actually is. He has told me on many occasions, "thanks for making me learn more about __x___ topic...I think I've changed my view on it."
So, it's kind of like a challenge I guess. :)
hmmm, maybe not if our views and values were extremely different. FI and i are both conservative however he WAY more than I. we get into it once in awhile, but most of the time we have the same view on issues.
I would, and I plan to. I'm liberal, he more leans towards the conservative side. It causes some arguments from time to time but we have agreed to simply not allow our politics to ruin our relationship
We are allowed to have differences, I respect his views even if I don't always agree with them.
So long as both parties can be understanding of the other's opinions, it would be fine. No understanding would cause a world of problems. I also believe that everyone gets a little more moderate the older they get. I'm not half the liberal I used to be.
Hmm...it depends on just how much we differed! My fiance and I are both independents, but he leans right and I lean left. We agree on moral issues, but policy & business issues is where we differ.
If he was a staunch Republican, and I was way Democrat...I don't think that we could work just because we disagree on so many different levels!
Yes! Maybe because I live and work in Washington, DC but being a bi-partisan couple just seems normal to me. I am a very liberal Democrat and worked for one of the most liberal senators when I met my fiance, a very conservative Republican with very conservative social and fiscal values. I enjoy hearing his perspective and having to really back up my ideas with concrete reasons why I believe my political ideology. Most of my friends are not "like me". I have friends that work for the most liberal NGOs and others that work for the most conservative think tanks. I think that is what makes life fun...coming from things at different perspectives and being individuals.
Yep. We agree on fiscal/policy/business but I think socially I am more open than he is. As long as someone isn't a jerk about their beliefs, I'm fine with it- husband, fiance, friend, etc.
I think this question is less politics, and how strongly you and your FI "own" an opinion. If it's an enormous part of your identity that you don't share, i could see walking away. But like a different religion, a varying opinion on country/city life, etc...if are so inflexible on ANY opinion, it's not going to work.
I'm a republican who is in favor of gay marriage and reproductive rights, and if a mate leaves me because he's democrat??, compromising must not be part of our relationship and it wasn't going to work anyway.
We are both extremely liberal and we totally agree on everything and I COULD NOT have it any other way 
I considered this early on in our relationship, and we agreed to disagree. The nice thing is that on social views we are pretty much on the same page with a few exceptions I can live with. He's more independent which also helps.
I am conservative (for the most part) and the FI is liberal. We rarely argue, so it gives us something to "fight" about. Mostly we agree to disagree. =)
I am very conservative and my FI is extremely liberal. It works. We both repect eachother's views. And we are both great listeners.
My thing was always that we don't have to agree, as long as we're able to BOTH be respectful of each other and each others' opinions. So someone with different views AND who's argumentative about them? Nope, couldn't do it. But I've known a lot of people who are able to respect viewpoints that are different from their own.
Fortunately, J and I think a lot alike. :)
I think as long as both parties remain open minded it can be fine. I could never marry someone who didn't respect my views and tried to force theirs on me, but as long as they are not arrogant it works for me.
I guess I sort of did. My husband has pretty laid-back political views. He just doesn't care. While, I care very much. It mostly doesn't bother me, it's not like we argue about it or anything, but sometimes I do wish he would be more passionate about it, like I am.
I would have said no had I not ended uo happily married to someone with a differig political viewpoint. He's right and I;m left. We give each other crap for it but in the end we both listen to each other and usually meet i the middle on issues that are important to us.
I voted yes but for me that only applies to fiscal conservatism. I could never be with a man who was "pro-life" (although I don't like that terminology because it implies that pro-choicers are anti-life, which is just stupid).
I am marrying someone who is way more conservative then me. I lean very heavily to the left you could say, and he is somewhere in the middle right. In the most important topic's we can agree. Equality of Sex, Sexuality, Marriage, and Pro-Choice. He might not choose that way in his own life, but he won't stop your right to do that. That is why I love him. He knows what is best for him, but won't stop me or other's like me do what is best for us. The only thing we can't agree to is public healthcare. But I think he is coming around. 
I never thought I would but I did. My husband is really conservative and I am a moderate. But both of us interpret our values through a libertarian lens, so we agree about how our daily lives should be run. At first I was very upset that he was so conservative and almost didn't continue to date him. Then he showed me the differences between his beliefs and between those of the Republican party (since I assumed conservative = Republican) and I came around because he was more than a stereotypical Republican. Not all conservatives agree with the current values of the Republican party! One of his favorite books is "The Crunchy Conservative" which I really recommend. It's about being conservative in the broadest sense: upholding long-held values, taking care of the earth and sustainable living, small government, the power of families, and so on.
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