- 5 years ago
Well, I’m on the bee on another active user name, but I have gone anonymous for specific reasons. This is an embarassing time.
I don’t even know where to begin this post… at all. I guess a bit of back story. SO and I live together. Recently, he started working nights and I guess I went a little crazy. I was hanging out with girl friends instead of being home and going to the bar, etc. He didn’t like it, snapped, and kicked me out. I begged and pleaded for him to take me back, and after 6 long hours, he wanted me home.
Things have been great since then, I thought. We are happy, we talked, we worked things out, I understood where he was coming from, as he did me, and we compromised. We had a wonderful Thanksgiving, have been spending more time together, have been sexual again almost every day, sometimes more than once a day.
We’ve had other upsets outside of the kicking out thing. We’ve had financial troubles, leading to a car having to be sold, and he’s been down about that, but we’re working through it together, as a couple should.
But two weeks ago, he’s been great, but he’s done some weird things that have freaked me out. He got late night text messages. He put a password on his phone, something he hadn’t had for over a year of living together. The one time I needed to use his phone and he gave me the password, he changed it.
I saw the new one, I snooped. I knew something was up.
I came across 2 text messages from a girl. They said “Hey…” and “Soooo I haven’t heard from you since I saw you. Which happens to be when we… crossed my boundaries… how am I supposed to think NOT old [insert SO’s name]? ” These were on November 25th. His call log shows he called her once (if he didn’t erase any) on October 31st. He had kicked me out November 4th. There was nothing else.
Im devasted, but Im not in a way. I think I have been preparing for this for two weeks now, and one good cry in the shower and I’m more level headed. I’ve tried to reason with myself, but honestly, if they didn’t have sex, what else could that text have meant? When did he see her? I was legitmatedly gone for 6 hours. If it was that night, why haven’t they had contact since then? Or maybe he just erased it.
A part of me thinks we could get through it, but I worry. He doesn’t seem guilty, we’ve been great. I have half a heart to contact the girl, but I don’t know if she would give me real, honest answers, or just tell him “why is this girl contacting me?” without asking me. I fear it was our bed, our house, the place we want to come home to, the place we want to have children in.
What would you do? Would you stay? I love him, I do. Whats my next step?