Post # 1
I know this is something I don’t need to make a decision on today, but the topic came up and I wanted to see what the Bees think.
My SO currently works for his family business – a very busy restaurant. His mom started it with her brother when SO was pretty young and it has become very successful. His mom is pretty financially secure but has spent many, many years working to get to this point. She’s a very hands-on person so she’s had a hard time giving up some control over it, but she realizes she’s way overdue for taking time for herself.
His family has already opened a couple of additional locations, one that SO’s sister and her DH run and another that SO’s cousin and his family run. They want to open a fourth location within the next few years. SO would love to be in charge of the new location and he has asked me if that’s something I would be interested in doing with him. I am touched that he would want me to be involved with his family business, but at the same time, I am scared that working together all the time would have a toll on our relationship.
Have any of you worked with your DH/FI/SO? We have never worked together before and I have never run a restaurant before! I have an accounting background and SO says I could do the accounting work and he could do the “other” stuff. In fact, he would like me to work for the business now so that I could get a taste of it (no pun intended 🙂 ) before we open our own place.
As I said, I don’t need to make a decision today as this is something even his family doesn’t want to do for a few years. It’s just talk at this point.
Would you ever consider doing something like this?
Post # 3
@ButterflyButterfly: I would consider it, but there would definitely have to be clear boundaries drawn & also outlined roles that each of us would taken on at the location to that we both did not overlap & create dischord.
The one thing that would worry me about this situation would be that if the business didn’t work out, your entire income would be gone because you were both invested in it completely. (also, I would worry about disgreeing at work & taking it home)
Post # 4
I did that with my first Husband, started a Business together. We were very successful. And we never had any problems working together. Like you and your SO we brought different skills to the table and worked different ends of the Biz… so it wasn’t like we were under each others feet 24/7 (that might have driven me nuts considering my Ex was a very stressful personality)
We only ran into issues when we decided to get a Divorce… and only because he didn’t want to ante up any of the Business assets that we built together … that caused HUGE issues in our Divorce Settlement. I say if you do go into business together be sure and consult YOUR OWN LAWYER so you know all he pitfalls… and are protected incase you ever need it.
Hope this helps,
Post # 5
I would with no problem. Husband and I have often talked about it, and we both understand there has to be clear boundaries and clear duty responsibility assigned to each person. (for us anyways)
I say give it a try now before you take the full plunge. It really will give you a sense of whether or not it could be handle with your relationship. You both just have to be very straight forward about how you feel about it when the time comes to take on a whole restaurant yourselves. Bluntness, honesty, and a whole lot of self realization will be required of you both, which is the hardest part.
Post # 6
We’re considering it as well, opening a small business together, so i’m just posting to follow along.
Post # 7
Yes, I would and plan to eventually. However, it would be really important that we have different areas that we have control over so that the roles are clearly defined. In our case, I am an accountant so I plan on performing the business management side while my husband performs the labor and service.
Post # 8
- Wedding: August 2014 - South Bonson Pier & Community Centre
@ButterflyButterfly: my hubby and I met working in a restaurant, and we’ll probably end up running one when we’re older. the only concern that I would have is that if the restaurant tanks, you don’t have another source of income as a safety net.
Post # 9
I would. We have worked togethr before and it went well. We also have a pipe dream of running a little shop together one day.
I think working with your SO helps to see how they are under pressure/in high stress situations and see how they treat others too. I think if your job are pretty separate you won’t have much trouble anyway. I’d probably test things out now if you’re worried though.
Post # 10
My SO has a business and I am on the board so in a way we work together.
He is such an upstanding, fair, respectful man so I have no problem with it.
Post # 10
ButterflyButterfly: DH is a commercial fisherman and i fished with him out on the open ocean for four years. his whole family has a boat. uncles, dad and three brothers. all out there next to us. sleeping in a small boat and barely on land. just the two of us. while i loved it and we are a great team. the things i didnt like were,, well he was always the boss, be prepared for screaming lol. of course out on the ocean if you dont do something you could die! we were always together but working. but i took a fw years break and want to go back. we have a bigger boat now though. and even though i still have my job at the hospital. I constantly help out. i go get ice and fuel with him. sell the fish. do erronds for him… and the family, try to deal with the paperwork he shoves in a plastic bag and hands to me. i actually still go fishing for a week here and there. There is something wonderfull about a husband and wife team even though are so many stresses involved. not everyone can do it.
Post # 11
ButterflyButterfly: When we were dating we ran his business together. We each manage differently and have different strengths. There were definitely days when I refused to go into his office because he annoyed me but we both learned a LOT from one another. He is a much better manager/employer than he used to be, by far. Now we’re engaged, no worse for wear, still discuss business matters, and are happy together. If he’s stumped or needs a fresh perspective he asks me. He now works there and I have moved on to a different company but we still enjoy working together.