Would you ever knowingly be "the other woman?"

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Would you knowingly be "the other woman?"
    Yes : (15 votes)
    3 %
    Yes, and I've done it before : (65 votes)
    14 %
    No : (307 votes)
    64 %
    No, but I've done it before : (93 votes)
    19 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3199 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @ladyamalthea:  i voted no, but out loud i said hell no. HELL no.

    treat others the way you want to be treated, eh? – i wouldn’t want another woman to do this to me, and therefore i would not do this to another woman. period.

    Post # 4
    Member
    4513 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    No. I completely believe that if he would cheat with me then he would cheat on me. I have no desire to be involved with a man that would cheat on his gf/fi/dw anyway. It says so much about his character.

    Post # 5
    Hostess
    9892 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @ladyamalthea:  I was the other woman – but it was back in my pre-21 days when these committed relationships were far less serious.  A married man, man living with a partner, man with a long term GF who lives elsewhere – absolutely not.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1235 posts
    Bumble bee

    Heheheh  I’m that friend! I feel so famous!

    I never ever ever would. Nor do I condone others who do. But according to the last topic I posted, a lot of bee’s have no problem with it. So let’s see if any of them are honest on polls.

    Post # 7
    Member
    9137 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    Knowingly, absolutely not.  I don’t want to share and it does not bode well for a relationship for it to start in secrets or lies.  If the man wanted to pursue me I would rebuff all advances until I was 100% sure he was no longer with the other person.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1373 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    Not ever. Ever ever ever. Just no way. I’ve been on the receiveing end of that and it’s just miserable. No way I would help someone subject another human to that sort of misery.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1327 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I don’t like to share.  Besides feeling bad for the other person and like I was a bad person, I would be super jealous. 

    The only thing I could understand is if, for example, the guy is in the process of a divorce or something like that.  But I don’t think that situation really applies to what we’re talking about here.

    Post # 10
    Member
    8418 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    No, I just never liked that kind of drama in my life.

    Post # 11
    Member
    266 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    I was the other woman once, but i had no idea about it. When I found out, i was so broken that  I ended up going to see a therapist about it as I couldnt stop feeling dirty and i hated myself. I am one of those women who are 100% against affairs – to the point where I am still recovering from my mum’s affair with her current husband (she cheated on my dad with him) four years ago. 

     

    I can’t imagine how anyone can do it knowingly – it just hurt me so much to know that i was the “other woman” – probably more than the breakup itself. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    2973 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @adoc86:  +1

    Nope. I believe in karma, and I don’t need that crap. Plus, if someone cheats on their 1st partner, they are very likely to cheat on the second. 

     

    Post # 13
    Member
    917 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I was once “the other woman” (but only for one date) unkowingly. As soon as I found out, I totally dropped him. His girlfriend found my number and called me. I told her that she didn’t need to worry about me anymore, but that she deserved better.

    I’m divorced because my ex cheated on me. Especially knowing how it feels, I wouldn’t do that to my worst enemy.

    Post # 14
    Member
    101 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @ladyamalthea:  I’ll own up to it! I was once and I am sooo not proud of it. I was in an extremely toxic on and off again relationship for three years, and (I thought) I was desperately in love. He was older and during one of our “off” periods, he secured himself a girlfriend…but then came back to me with the “I miss you, this time will be different” routine. I fell for it and REALLY struggled, because I never wanted to do that to another woman. It did get to the point that I told him he had to choose because I felt so awful for his girlfriend, and he broke up with her (and then later cheated on me, so I got what I deserved). I was young and stupid and I was very sorry for what I did. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    1822 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall

    I wouldn’t for my own moral reasons, and I wouldn’t be interested in a guy who would consider doing it either. 360 degrees of no. Just no!

    Post # 16
    Member
    2878 posts
    Sugar bee

    I voted no. Not even for moral reasons (of course I find it offensive to the married woman and I would not like it to happen to me), but even for selfish reasons : I don’t want to share, so knowingly getting into a relationship with a man means I want to commit emotionally, not just sexually. Him being already into a relationship would not do. It’s a huge turn off. 

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