Would you ever pay for or help pay for your own E ring?

posted 3 years ago in Rings
  • poll: Would you ever pay for or help pay for your E ring?
    Yes I would have no problem paying for it or helping to pay for it if it meant getting my dream ring : (160 votes)
    57 %
    No way I would never contribute anything, he can save up for however long it takes : (18 votes)
    6 %
    Maybe it depends on the situation : (47 votes)
    17 %
    I would rather he pay for it all and get a smaller ring I just want to get married! : (36 votes)
    13 %
    I did pay for my own ring : (22 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    8418 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    BWLE:  I don’t think there is anything wrong with helping to pay for an item if that is what the person really wants.  However, I do have a problem with someone demanding something, helping to pay for it, then resenting the giver for not being able to afford said ring on his/her own.  Like finances, I don’t think there is a “right” or “wrong” way to do it, as long as the couple communicates and is on the same page.  My ring was fairly inexpensive, so this was never an issue for us.

    Post # 3
    Member
    404 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    I actually wanted a moissanite over a diamond for the cost effectiveness. He got me a diamond anyway. It was a lovely ring, but by the time I moved in he had about 1/4 of the ring left to pay. I chipped in just so the expensee were less overall. I really wanted a 1-1.5 ct but reality settled it for us. It was more important that I was engaged than waiting.

    Post # 4
    Member
    288 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    I did. At the time FI didn’t have much money and gave me a bottom line of what he could afford. I looked for something within his price range but it just wasn’t working, so I chipped in for half to get the ring I really loved.

    FI was “iffy” at first because he wanted to feel “manly” and pay for it all himself, so we reached a compromise. He pays for the actual ring setting, and I pay for the stone. He felt happy with that agreement because he could still say he bought the ring, now we’re both happy!

    • This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by  Floofy. Reason: Terrible wording, ugh
    Post # 5
    Member
    5207 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2013

    BWLE:  I actually think it’s quite reasonable to contribute towards your own ring if it’s expensive (of course every couple has their own idea of what price is considered expensive). If your fiancé has a $3000 budget and you have your heart set on a $6000 ring then you damn well better offer to help pay for it! It’s not fair the way some ladies complain that he “had enough time to save up more”. Maybe he could have, doesn’t mean he’s obligated to.

    Post # 6
    Member
    671 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I would… But I don’t know if maybe deep down I’d be secretly disappointed… But that would be a selfish little girl unrealistic attitude wouldn’t it? These e rings can be expensive. 

    Luckily FI wouldn’t let me pay anything (I did offer).

    Post # 7
    Member
    146 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    BWLE:  in my relationship we combined finances early, so him paying versus me paying was kind of the same thing. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    237 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    I paid for my setting, it was on eBay and I have a weird thing with eBay that if I see something I love I HAVE to buy it right away. It was only $120 but yeah I don’t care. He said he wants to buy me a ring that he 100% paid for, and hey I ain’t complaining. Lol. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    3044 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    I think it depends on when and how you get engaged… Earlier in our relationship I would have been fine chipping in, but my partner is very traditional and stubborn and wanted to be the one to propose… So he gets to be he one to pay the full price of whatever ring he chooses. He has a list of what I would want in a ring and a ballpark of price estimates from $800-5500, and whatever he decides on is just ducky to me. 🙂

    Post # 10
    Member
    314 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2017

    I’m not yet engaged, but he bought the center stone and I contributed my tax return for the setting. To me, it’s all the same. Though he was uneasy about it at first, but we have other financial goals we want to meet this year and thought it best to help each other meet them. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    529 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    We’ve had joint finances for years, so when we got engaged, he spent our money on a ring we both picked. There really was no way for him to pay as neither of us have money that is just ours. Plus, with the combined finances, we were able to purchase what we wanted sooner (still took a couple years of saving though)

    Post # 12
    Member
    1737 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2014 - 13th ~ TN

    BWLE:  Unless the ring is paid off when you get married then you essentially take it on anyway when you get married. Whether you say you keep bills seperate or not does not matter, if your spouse passes away you are still responsible for their debts.

    Post # 13
    Member
    4043 posts
    Honey bee

    BWLE:  My DH initially bought the ring on his own, but he did finance about 20% (0% interest for 6 months). He could afford to pay it off on his own, but  I wanted it paid off immediately, so I put some money toward it (about half the remaining total). 

    I was fine with it and DH came around to the idea (at first he didn’t like it). It worked for us and we were already living together/sharing expenses. I don’t think it is “cheating” in any way. If you are going to marry someone, you are going to be sharing money/ expenses in some way. It depends on the couple and what they want, but I see nothing wrong with helping.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1119 posts
    Bumble bee

    I paid about a fifth of it, we had a change pot that was a sort of unofficial e ring fund for years with the view that if we split up we’d split the money and if he proposed he’d use it for the ring. He then totally surprised me with the proposal and ring in February.  I guess some people might find it odd that I contributed financially but had no say in the choice of ring 🙂

    Post # 15
    Member
    6504 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I would absolutely help pay for my ring if I wanted something he couldn’t afford. However, we knew we were going to be sharing money soon anyways so it didn’t really matter if ‘I’ paid or ‘he’ paid since it was going to be ‘our’ money.

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